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The Toxic Relationship Ne Plus Ultra Warning — You cannot save everyone, but you can save yourself…

One of the all-time most virally shared articles in Facebook history.

Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. Don't carve a roadmap of pain into the sweet wrinkles on your face. Don't lay in the quiet with your heart pounding like a trapped, frightened creature. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you — seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!

Should you help someone who is reaching out and deeply-hurting?

Should you help someone who is reaching out and deeply-hurting? Absolutely. Do what you can to help people but have the wisdom to accept your limits. You can only do so much. You should never have a relationship based on guilt over someone's poor choices. It is easy to find ourselves in denial about someone's behavior because we so deeply wish they could escape their pain and suffering. But what we want for others doesn't work unless they want it for themselves. People must save themselves, and you can only help a person who genuinely wants it and is ready.

Trust your instincts and listen to your inner-voice — it's trying to protect you.

You have permission to walk away from anything that doesn't feel right. Trust your instincts and listen to your inner-voice — it's trying to protect you. Never stop sharing your love with people; that's why you were put on Earth. But sometimes the way to share your love is to let someone go. Staying in an unhealthy relationship can keep both of you from finding your way and moving to the next level in your life. Sometimes the best way to save someone is to walk away. Real love sometimes means saying goodbye.


“It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control.”
Iyanla Vanzant

Your life is meant for so much more than being a life-long doormat!

Your life is meant for so much more than being a life-long doormat for deadbeats, losers, gossipers, nay-sayers, dream-crushers, energy vampires, users, abusers, ragers and passive-aggressive backstabbers. Some of these people are rabidly-infected with obvious madness. Some have less obvious ways, such as the “helpful” enabler, who sends you off to your destruction with a helping hand and a smile. Some are “doubt-whisperers,” who plant seeds of non-belief in your heart to take root, only so they can then console you in your inevitable moment of defeat. There are also perpetual victims who feed on your constant attention. Call them what you want, you know exactly who I am talking about. One thing always reveals their sometimes hidden identity — after you have been around them, consider how you feel; have you been depleted and drained, or energized and inspired?

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead.”
Anais Nin

A person at peace can immediately recognize a consciousness in crisis, whereas those in crisis cannot fully understand themselves or others. People often turn away from good advice because they need something another person can never give them — discovery. As much as we would like to help others avoid pain, sometimes we have to let go and allow them to receive their own painful lessons. Suffering is one of life's great teachers. You cannot save people from themselves. All you can do is stand firmly in your hopes for them, with compassion.

I know you want to be a good person and be helpful to people in need, but…

I know you want to be a good person and be helpful to people in need, but it's impossible to give to others if your energy has already been used-up. Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing people to destroy you. There are limits. You can best help others from a position of strength, not weakness. So, don't forget to be good to yourself first. Don't forget to take care of you! It is never cruel to want to save yourself from being swamped by fools. You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them. Their lives are full of emptiness, chaos, and dysfunction, and they will bring their misery and pain into your life with full-force if you allow it. Then there are others who have the outward appearance of success and are seemingly not self-destructive in nature. These people do not destroy themselves, but instead survive through the destruction of others — these are the users. Either of these types of people will latch-on to you in a death-spiral and take you down to the depths of hell with them — if you allow it. This is your life, and you have the right and responsibility to make good decisions for yourself. 


The truth is, they cannot help themselves; they are sick, and may need professional help.

Uneasiness and suffering spills out on everyone around the wounded soul who cannot see themselves. What they have not observed, accepted, and healed within themselves infects everyone they meet. Their instability shakes every encounter with uneasiness. Their desperate longing for meaningful contact and peace, is steadily amplified by their unconscious and ill-mannered quarks of petty drama, or neglect. Broken people often demand from others, what they cannot summon from within. Many wounded people who cannot be at peace with themselves, force the people around them to walk on eggshells to create the illusion of calm they demand. The cost of their feigned composure of phony harmony, is your peaceful state of mind. Their state of ease in a room, is only equal to everyone else's state of unease. They obliviously belly laugh, while others heart palpitate. They smile, while you grit your teeth. They exhale in satisfaction, as your diaphragm flutters with anxiety. They ingratiate themselves into your deepest bonds of dependency, where you are more like a hostage than a friend, because you fear their meltdown should their affection go unrequited. The commotion they create in your life is like a toxic and confusing haze of crossed boundaries, broken trust, and endless disappointments. They are often mostly unaware of the energetic load and burden they place on others. The truth is, they cannot help themselves; they are sick, and need professional help.

Some people's problems are more than you can bare. Their madness slowly becomes your madness.

Some people's problems are more than you can bare, and without proper boundaries, in time, these people will wear you down to a frazzle. Your hope and optimism is no match for their bottomless pit. Your pep-talks and quick fixes are no match for the endless self-destruction loop running in their minds. You can give them compassion, but they will settle for nothing less than your destruction. If they don't get help, you're the one who will soon need it. Their unresolved traumas will seep in, as your trauma. Their wounds, will become your wounds. Their madness slowly becomes your madness. If you will honestly look in the mirror at the stress on your face, and in your eyes, you will see what they are doing to you. They are remaking you into their likeness; a terrorized person, who is desperate for peace.

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.”
Joel Osteen

You must firmly, absolutely and ruthlessly protect your safety and sanity. Misery loves good company, so if you are surrounded with drama, gossip and fools you may want to consider that you are presently at risk of becoming one of them. The real zombie apocalypse is the pandemic of drama and mediocrity. Troublemakers will infect you with the malady of their madness. And especially, if your positivity immune system is low, any exposure to a person afflicted with negativity can poison your life. You have to get these people out of your life once and for all. One of the fastest ways you can profoundly change your life is to rid yourself of toxic people. When you do come in contact with one of these people, run for your life. Get to safety. Meditatively and spiritually decontaminate yourself. Scrub down your brain with a wire-brush and remove their insanity from the corridors of your mind. Inoculate yourself immediately by creating a safe space and aligning yourself with healthy people. If you have to go it alone for a while until you find your healthy tribe and chosen family, that is fine. Being alone is much better than being around negative people out of loneliness or desperation. 


“Inoculate yourself from dangerous bozos.”
Guy Kawasaki

Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life.

Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life. Even professional therapists, psychologists, and social workers draw boundaries to limit exposure to their clients. What makes you think you can handle unlimited exposure to toxic people and survive? You can still be a charitable person who helps and cares about people, without helping those very people destroy your life. Learn how to draw a line and learn how to enforce it — let people know what is and what is not accepted by you. Get selfish and take care of you. Cleanliness and order are good Feng Shui, which applies to people even more than it does to the things in your life. You must clear out what you don't want, to make room for what you do want to arrive. The way to send a clear message that you are ready for better people in your life is to kick the rascals to the curb. The intimate space of your personal life should be reserved for amazing, beautiful, radiant souls — good, wholesome and loving people. Your truest family is your chosen family, people with whom you most identify. Make a clear decision on the type of people you want in your life and if they don't make the cut, create some distance. It doesn't matter if it is a close relative, a parent or a childhood friend; no matter the history — when people are toxic, disruptive and dysfunctional with no reasonable signs of recovery, then they need to go. Escaping a toxic relationship can feel like breaking a piece of your heart off; like a wolf chews its leg off to escape a steel trap. Leaving is never easy, but sometimes it's necessary to save yourself, and others, from dying inside. Love toxic people from a distance.

“You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”
Daniell Koepke


Some people love to relive their pain; they are perpetual victims — self-abusing, emotional-drama junkies. They are always fanning into flames every little spark. Some people are addicted to the trauma of the drama; their raison d'etre is the daily struggle against their own created turmoil. The struggle in life is their stagecraft, where the people around them become unwitting performers in their dramatic scenes. Crisis is their sensation of being alive; spectacle is their excitement and proof of life. In absence of true passion and purpose, some people engage in the dark surrogate of petty commotion and drama. These people do not want to let go and move on, because they need to struggle and destroy, to live. Blame is their getaway vehicle they use to flee the scenes of their emotional crimes. The pain they carry within themselves is flung and strewn on everyone they encounter; contaminating every peaceful moment with spots of uneasiness and discord. They are raging against themselves. They fight outward enemies because they are afraid to confront the enemy within. They are deeply wounded people, who can be very dangerous to your peace of mind, your family, and your life. Like a wounded animal, they will bite your hand of comfort. They will suck you into their hellish world if you let them. They will keep you there forever, for drama after drama, as their emotional support — as their prisoner. It will never end; every molehill made into a mountain of problems — mountains of madness. When you find yourself hanging off the cliff, with someone about to pull you over the edge, you have to cut the rope. Sometimes letting go of someone is the only way to survive.

“Other people's views and troubles can be contagious. Don't sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.”
Epictetus

Now could be the time to walk away; hell, you may even need to run!

Now could be the time to walk away; hell, you may even need to run. Haven't you been listening to your inner-voice? Be honest, your gut has been screaming but you have been ignoring it. How much more of your life are you going to throw-away for a lie? Accept it. Some people never change. Some people have abusive, negative, controlling tendencies in their blood; they are wired for havoc, bickering and deception. They know of no other way to interface with others except through their created chaos. Chaos is their home-court advantage where they play their mind-games so they can have power over you; it's a rigged game you can never win. They will wear you ragged and bring you to your knees emotionally and physically. In time they will destroy every wonderful thing you have in your life. You are in danger: your health, your peace of mind, your happiness and maybe even your life. There is more than one way to lose your life; quickly through violence, or fettered-away and wasted around dreadful, toxic people. You must take control of your life and make good decisions for yourself. The insanity must end, for your sake and for theirs.

“End it now! Don't waste another minute dealing with a toxic, negative, energy-draining person. … Don't waste valuable time trying to change them. Change yourself and get them out of your life! Don't say a word; leave all of your belongings if you have to in the middle of the night. Cut off all communication. Don't take their calls. You have heard all the lies before. They will not change. They don't choose to change. It is who they have decided to be. Move to another city, if you must, and start all over again. Your life is worth it. You deserve to have peace of mind, a great relationship and an exciting life.”
Les Brown

We are told to love people unconditionally, but sometimes we must get rid of people unconditionally.

We are told to love people unconditionally, but sometimes we must get rid of people unconditionally. Some people just keep slithering and oozing in through the cracks in your resolve; they refuse to respect your boundaries. No more mixed messages. You must learn how to close a door permanently. Cut, cauterize and never give them another thought. Monstrous sociopath-like disengagement is your right. Your life is worth more. Don't waste another minute. Let them say you are awful. Block, ban, delete and disconnect. Do whatever you must to take care of yourself and don't you dare ever feel guilty.

“Avoid negative people for they are the greatest destroyers of self confidence and self esteem.”
Zig Ziglar

There is a difference between loyalty and bondage. There is a difference between faithfulness and fearfulness. There is a difference between being devoted and being dominated. The difference is called freedom, it is all the difference in the world. This is your life and you get to choose what is acceptable in your relationships with absolute authority. Don't give your authority to someone who will abuse your trust. If you have mistakenly entrusted your authority to an abuser; revoke and reclaim your power now. You are the supreme authority in your own life, and you have the final word.

“You are defined by the company you don't keep.”
Sasha Nataros

Respecting others has nothing to do with allowing them to destroy you.

On one hand, you should have deep respect for the intrinsic value of each soul as an equal being of divine creation. Hold each person in your mind with reverence, respect and high regard. On the other hand you have to recognize that some of these beings, while deserving of respect at a fundamental level, are absolute disasters who will bring a calamity of misfortune into your life — if you allow it. Some people are damaged like abused animals; skittish, un-trusting, reactive, unpredictable and dangerous. They have been abused, and they will hurt you, even with the best of intentions. If you have a clear mind and peaceful life, it is very easy to spot one of these injured people. You can still love and admire the intrinsic value and beauty of all people without absorbing their toxicity and insanity. Let eternity weigh the intrinsic value of their souls, while you just get away from them. Respecting others has nothing to do with allowing them to destroy you. 


Sometimes a person needs us to abandon them…

Sometimes a person needs us to abandon them, but we hang-on anyway, which can be devastating for both parties. Helping others can sometimes even be a convenient distraction from addressing our own unresolved issues. When someone you know is so toxic and destructive that they are poisoning your life, you have to create some distance. They need you to walk away as much as you need it. People who are out of control desperately need to observe your healthy boundaries in-action to learn from your example. You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them. There is a difference between giving-up and strategic disengagement. Know the difference. Learn how to let people go. Stop holding-on to the wrong people. Let them go on their own way; if not for you, then for them.

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
Dr. Steve Maraboli

You can help others once you are safe, secure and successful in your own life. Practically every successful person you know of is successful, in part, because they moved the destructive and disruptive people out of their lives. Successful people carefully manage their energy and associations; they are gatekeepers. Who you allow into your life, mind and heart are among the most important decisions you will ever make. Take inventory of the people with whom you spend the most time. Who you spend your time with is who you are, or who you will soon become. Limit your exposure to unhealthy and unsupportive people. Love yourself enough to say no to people who diminish your chances for a beautiful and empowered life. Sometimes you have to get away from what you know, to discover what you don't know. It is time for the abuse, control, lies and negativity to end. Align yourself with a new tribe of healthy people who are supportive of your highest good and greatest potential. Find the people who are living the positive lifestyle you wish for yourself and who share your values, and create a new family of friends that you can call, “home.” Your new positive and supportive tribe will edify you, strengthen you and empower you to serve others in ways you would have never before imagined. Taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others. It is not too late for you. It is never too late to begin loving yourself again. It is never too late to have the life you deserve. Healing for everyone begins with self-love — starting right now.

“Pause and remember– You deserve peace! So, don't feel bad for one moment about walking away from people, jobs, and situations that keep you from having peace of mind.”
Jenni Young McGill

It is heartbreaking, but some people cannot love you the way you deserve to be loved…

Some people cannot love you the way you want to be loved because they are emotionally and spiritually frozen. They recoil from or avoid affection. You will never meet a deep penetrating gaze from their shallow eyes; only a surface glance. They will touch your hand with their hand, but never with their heart. They will serve your body but not your soul. They can only connect with you through utility, but never passion. If you need cupcakes or a jar opened, they are perfect; if you need compassion or wisdom, you are all alone. They are only a person as society made them, not as nature intended them. They live life so perfectly but know nothing of life at all. They did everything they were told to be a good person but are hardly a person at all. They are empty. They are dead inside. They will break your heart if you let them. They are usually very judgmental. They see themselves as nice but are often mean and cold. They feel themselves superior. They think everything they do is exactly the way it is supposed to be done. They are repeaters. They lack original thought. If you challenge their slumber with awakened thoughts, they will panic and flee. They will make you feel crazy because they only believe what the masses believe. They are the embodiment of the masses because they have not become their own individual person. Individuation is an attainment of spiritual maturity — frighteningly seldom attained in today's world. You cannot change these people. They are trapped inside of themselves; stunted. You will waste your whole life waiting for them to wake-up to the treasure of what you have to offer.

Maybe it's time to stand-up for yourself!

We often think of oppression in terms of tyrants, but it most often comes from the institutions, philosophies, and people closest to us. Most oppression is near and dear. Next time your spouse or partner abusively criticizes you, or says you are worthless, not good enough, stupid or inadequate — tell them that if it is true, to consider that those alleged deficiencies could be what prevented you from getting a better mate. They say they can't stand your behaviour, but really, they can't stand themselves. People like this often criticize you from the position of being the “wiser” or “stronger” person, who they claim are only trying to “help” you. If they really were strong they wouldn't yell, they would reassure. If they were really strong they wouldn't put you down, they would lift you up. Maybe you're the one who is really strong. Maybe they just want to hold you back. Maybe it's time to stand-up for yourself!

“Pause and remember– When you stop holding on so tightly to the way you once thought, you create space in your mind and life for new opportunities to arrive.”
Jenni Young McGill

Maybe you need to remind a few people to step back and have a little patience. Maybe you don't have the words and just want to tell them you are a work in progress and are doing the best you can. Maybe their harsh judgments aren't helping! Maybe your difficult circumstances plus the stress of their negativity is the very thing standing between your success and failure. Perhaps they are even right about some of their criticisms, but their constant negativity is poisoning your best efforts to change. If they are right about some things, then give it as much positive consideration as possible. You will never recover from what you refuse to accept. Healing begins with acknowledgement. But also acknowledge that the unhealthy relationship must also change. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, bravely acknowledge it and then begin to take the steps to do something about it.

This is your chance at life — right now. How will you choose to live it? Fettered away by agonizing drama, stress, fear, worry and endless nonsense? Or, savored in a deep and meaningful exploration of rich experiences, passions, people, and wonderment? Each day the choice is yours to choose. Be brave and choose wisely!

Even when people are clearly toxic and abusive, people will argue over cutting them off and getting them out of their life. You don't need a reason to move someone out of your life. A person doesn't need to be toxic to get rid of them. You can get rid of any person for any reason. It doesn't matter if they are a saint. If you don't like their “vibe” or you are uncomfortable, or feeling that they are out-of-sync with your life path, you have the right to let them go. Being a gatekeeper in your own life is crucial. Who you ally yourself with is always the paramount consideration of your life. Learning to move people out the rings of your concentric circles quickly and neatly is a vital skill. Protect your energy and reserve the nucleus of your inner-circle for those with whom you share a rare destiny. There is hardly anything more limiting or more empowering than who you allow to stay in your life. Get over the guilt or be a slave to guilt; it's your choice.

Letting go means you refuse to be a victim forever.

Letting go is a process of recognition, confrontation, acceptance, and healing. Letting go simply means not suffering any more than absolutely necessary, but just enough to expand and strengthen ourselves. Some suffering is needed to deepen our compassion, to grow, and to learn. Letting go means you have learned enough, and now have compassion for yourself. Letting go means not touching that sore spot until it is infected, and instead letting it heal. Letting go means carrying a permanent scar, but not a permanent wound. Letting go means you may have walked through hell, but came out the other side ready to make your life a heaven. Letting go means you refuse to be a victim forever, by letting one moment define the rest of your life. Letting go means you accept change, and you accept that your pain is not permanent. Letting go means you accept that you cannot take away the past, but you insist that the past cannot take away your future. Letting go means you are ready to move forward and live. Letting go means you are no longer afraid. It was always fear that held you prisoner; letting go means you are finally free. Now may be the time to finally listen to your heart, and do what you have known you must do — and let them go. 


“Pause and remember– Sometimes, what seems like a very negative or challenging event is what puts us in alignment with our greater purpose.”
Jenni Young McGill

If it is time to let someone go, for their sake, or for yours, then this may be your confirmation.

No one wants to give-up on someone they love, but sometimes we are forced to make hard decisions by extraordinary suffering. It's easy to judge, or say, “never-give-up,” until you have been there. Eventually, you begin to realize that life is too short and your powers to teach, influence or heal are limited. You finally accept that their emptiness, pain, and dysfunction requires more than you have to give. You can't hand your whole life and soul over to someone who doesn't even care about their own. You can only hold-the-line for someone hell-bent on self-destruction for so long, but when you start getting rope burns on your hands, you have to let go. You also must be careful fighting someone else's demons — it may awaken your own! Some of the people we adore most — like the moth to the flame — are going to destroy themselves. Their attraction to their inevitable undoing is heartbreaking to watch, and something you will never understand. As much as you love someone, you can't make their decisions or live their life for them. They must make the hard decisions all on their own. In many cases, the disaster is already in play; it's in motion because of their past actions, and now the consequences are coming, and there is nothing you can do about it. It hurts to watch. It is awful. Letting go is an excruciating heartbreak; mourning the death of what once was. If you did let someone go, and you still have guilt because of it, it's time to forgive yourself and begin to heal. If it is time to let someone go, for their sake, or for yours, then this may be your confirmation.

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Bryant McGill

Bryant McGill is a human potential thought leader, international bestselling author, activist, and social entrepreneur.

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Sàbrine Mèéjjrii
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Sàbrine Mèéjjrii

wowww! , this is the most wonderfullll thing i have ever read , thank u so much really , u are helping manyyy people , people whose suffering , this message really touch the heart , wooww!

Annette Thompson
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Annette Thompson

This really helped me understand a struggle I’ve been having in my life …Thank you very much for your knowledge I’ve been trying to find….

Peg Fisher Pohuly
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Peg Fisher Pohuly

Thanks so much for sharing this. It’s truly what I needed. A special message from God. 💜

Veronica Kennedy
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Veronica Kennedy

It took me some time to read right through this to the end but what articulate and empowering words of wisdom. Every word makes perfect sense. Well done to the author.😃

Carolyn Gingrich Buchanan
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Carolyn Gingrich Buchanan

I have tried to live my life this way some times it is very lonely though

John McDougall
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John McDougall

Yes, I know the feeling, Carolyn. In the past, I’ve allowed myself to associate with this likeable person but sometimes can be unpredictable when we binge drink having a good time. However, when I was told by the Police that my mate has gone to jail, I was shocked at first but my life has become normal again because I overcame my excessive drinking by making carrot juice mixed with orange, delicious apple, pawpaw, passionfruit and ginger mixed with water which I drink every day. I enjoy my beer better when I have guests staying at my place without its being addictive.

Irina Ekpo-Umo
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Irina Ekpo-Umo

Every word resonanced with me; my life experiences are a proof of the truth and wisdom of these words. Wishing that I read this masterpiece years back to get wiser and avoid all the leeching, using, damages, pain… I am nevertheless free and happy, for if we can’t find happiness within ourselves, we may have to be on a long journey towards realisation of this wisdom. Thank you, Bryant.

Libby Hallion
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Libby Hallion

Maybe they don’t need your judgment maybe they don’t need your help maybe you are too full of your own self

Donald O
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Donald O'Neal

To thy own self be true ! A strong heart & mind is a rock on which one may stand ! Life is a Mind over Matter experience worth exploring & from which joy – peace – love & happiness comes from ! To include regret a bummer used as a slide rule , to calculate your next move ! Look forward to life’s simple pleasures & believe in yourself , your a beautiful person & Gods greatest creation a ( Women ) ! Sorry men – we all suck in this World ! Later Gators ! 😀💜💜🎵

Barbara Lang
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Barbara Lang

What an Amazing author! YOU are a Blessing!

Jan Hasper Mancilla Lopez
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Jan Hasper Mancilla Lopez

<3 amen

Rita Jones Howerton
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Rita Jones Howerton

So So true!!!!!

Bryant McGill
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Bryant McGill

<3

Mala Gandhi
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Mala Gandhi

Yes Thankyou for this… sometimes easy said than done and sometimes after many years of hell ,you wake up and realize , wait this is not how it should be and you have the courage and strength and you get out. Looking back now i have become a stronger person that i thought i never had in me and ofcourse special thanks to you …Bryant Mcgill. I would have not got better without reading your quotes everyday. Xx

Mala Gandhi
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Mala Gandhi

Be stromg, Be positive. There are good days and bad days. Trust me I know. You will get there one day. Continue to read from Bryant. He will keep you and help you thru this. He def did for me and many of my friends. Take care dear.

Leslie Ferneau
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Leslie Ferneau

I agree to a point. I am just not there yet!! I read your affirmations daily! But I am in such dibilitating Pain! Worse than ever! (physically) tired of waiting waiting for answers! Like I said I understand all your affirmations, just can’t this one! My Sister Lorraine is the one that shared this with so many people! Especially me! Thanks for what you do!

Love Merlyn Juarez
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Love Merlyn Juarez

Ohhh…im so touched thanks GOD for having you Bryant McGill for inspiring many of us…May the LORD GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS

Veronica Rambeau
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Veronica Rambeau

Yes , i agree… Your quotes keep me going.. Thank you!! Happy new year!!

Mala Gandhi
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Mala Gandhi

Thankyou Debbie. It was a long ride but here i am getting stronger by the day. There are days when I can go back into my shell but all the quotes from Bryant and his followers, like you keep me going with poistive vibes. Thankyou again Debbie

Debbie Mallabone
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Debbie Mallabone

Congratulations Mala Gandhi – stay the course beautiful soul

Mala Gandhi
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Mala Gandhi

Thankyou Bryant. …
You are very inspiring. What would we do without you. You have touched so many ….esp me

Bryant McGill
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Bryant McGill

<3

Steve Maraboli
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Steve Maraboli

Bryant McGill Congrats on the impact of this powerful post, brother!

Ruben Alejandro Santanatalia Infante
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Ruben Alejandro Santanatalia Infante

Que esceito

Phylis Sforza Porter
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Phylis Sforza Porter

You are amazing Bryant McGill.

Hicham Hanover
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Hicham Hanover

generations after generations will live on our dreams, and that we are saying today is calculated on our lives. the dream is not impossible, because it’s realization permissible, and if it became a long night, surely the morning sun will rise tomorrow. love is not a word, but is already and sense, is a smile and star, and it is the guide in the way of people. This is our dream, the lap implicit all of us, our dream everywhere, our songs in all limits. we will continue to love and sing, and tomorrow we will meet the beautiful universe

Nenita A. Agamata
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Nenita A. Agamata

Its really great..thank you for the message. God Blessed.

Bryant McGill
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Bryant McGill

It’s really amazing Steve Maraboli to think of the impact; very humbling. Proud to have quoted your wise writings in this post too.

Dianne Strambi
Guest
Dianne Strambi

That’s what I have been saying! No one ever posted it on Facebook when I said it!. Just a note, toxic people never own up to what they did, all they do is accuse you of ruining their life. Which is a joke and do not listen to it. How is it possible that every single person that comes into a toxic persons life is there to ruin his or her life. And most of these people are very nice people who get along with everyone. It is the warped perception of the way toxic people see you. Ask your toxic person, “has there ever been anyone in your life who made you happy?” You know the answer. The best advice I can give anyone who is dealing with a toxic person is LET IT GO!!! Don’t waste your time trying to figure out whats wrong with them or how to help them. They really are helpless ! There is not enough love in this world to heal them. So don’t waste your love on a toxic person. One more thing, when you first meet them they hide the toxicity, they don’t let you see it. The biggest clue is if they display insecurity and jealous tendencies. Do not fall for it, it doesn’t mean they love you because they don’t want you to go anywhere with anyone else. That’s control. Maybe u should write a book!

Rosa Q Macon
Guest
Rosa Q Macon

Dianne I have a neighbor like that, she is very very negative and very few people likes her, I’m the only one that can handle her, but she really gets on my nerves. She & her husband are very old and in bad shape so I try to help as much as I can but her attitude is affecting my health. What should I do?

Diana Long
Guest
Diana Long

What if it’s your own family and they tell you your making things up ,!!!???

Puvana Murugesu
Guest
Puvana Murugesu

i shd hv read this years back..never too late though..

Sondra Bomar
Guest
Sondra Bomar

Family will hurt you more and deeper than any one! Usually female try to see how hard and deep they can stab you. You have to back off and let them go.

Lori-Anne McBurney
Guest
Lori-Anne McBurney

And thank you Diane!!! Your post was validating & enlightening❤️

Lori-Anne McBurney
Guest
Lori-Anne McBurney

I’m learning… Been tough because it’s my 15 year old girl… They just don’t understand how much they are loved, bad behavior and all… Almost through the storm and learning to not react, and get support & hugs to help detach is really the only way to deal. Thank goodness puberty doesn’t last forever! Much tougher with a child than any other type of toxic person. Not wanting to abandon them, but set clear boundaries is a real challenge!! Been almost 2 1/2 years since my girl lived at home, but I’m finally at peace and believe better days are coming. They do grow up, and we learn & grow through them, thank God!!!😊🙏

Khaled W. ElSanadily
Guest
Khaled W. ElSanadily

The best I’ve read in a long while (Y)

Cindy Laidlaw
Guest
Cindy Laidlaw

Sorry for the y instead of an i

Cindy Laidlaw
Guest
Cindy Laidlaw

Thankyou Dianne Stramby…

Aguilar Alberto
Guest
Aguilar Alberto

Toxic people are to hard to get rid of them.
You get no option.
Is like trying to take a shower without water.
You want a shower but don’t want to get wet.
My simple opinion.

Pengzky Cv
Guest
Pengzky Cv

correct & very true😊

Deb Wyman
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Deb Wyman

Let go, or be dragged , is a thought

Babette Geck
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Babette Geck

Wow..i have been battling in and out of a toxic relationship for almost 7 years..i always end up going back because i “miss” him
..but it always ends up the same way..this time i am going to find a way to stay away…any suggestions?…

Nicoline Kaahangoro
Guest
Nicoline Kaahangoro

The sooner th beta. im letin go now…

Arcana Lysethavis
Guest
Arcana Lysethavis

most of my family were toxic to me as a child and unfortunately I had to endure it for years. I have PTSD and it can make me feel toxic but I try looking at it as a learning experience which helps me a lot. Never do I ever want to treat a child like I was treated. I have a step-daughter and I’d never put her thru what I went thru as a step-child!

Tersia Coetzee
Guest
Tersia Coetzee

Marilyn I did the same. Good for you! I feel as thow I’ve never lived before untill now. No one has control over me anymore. No one to disaprove of me. I can finaly be ME!

Marilyn Bland
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Marilyn Bland

Wished someone would have given me this advice 15 yrs ago! I suffered and endured a toxic person for several years before I finally threw in the towel on the marriage and ended it. Now I’m picking up the pieces of my life and trying to get on my feet. I have a long road ahead of me. Plus that, now I’m trying to gain confidence in myself again after he tore it all down over time. I lost my identity and independence in by being married to a toxic person who was very controlling. Now I’m free…..thank God I’m free at last! Living alone and being independent is so sweet and liberating!

Sherry Thomas
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Sherry Thomas

Just got out of 15 year toxic relationship. Having trouble not looking over my shoulder and moving forward.

Babylynn Generoso Delos Reyes
Guest
Babylynn Generoso Delos Reyes

Absolutely right Dianne… I’m now experiencing it and I pray that I can get over him… Let it go and move on!!!!

Kevin Aughey
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Kevin Aughey

Hey Dianne! Just a side note; there may not be enough love in this world but there is enough love from the creator of love! He is definitely not of this world! All His best for your life! Love others always even if you don’t get it back from them! I left my toxic relationship 6 months ago and yes life is good! 🙂

Trish A Schelble
Guest
Trish A Schelble

The son-in-law; way toxic. Long story but I pray for my daughter to find her own truth so she won’t stay too much longer. I can see how sick she is from the stress but right now she sees it as choosing her mom (me) or him (her husband) when the third choice is herself. I desire her to choose herself and get her and her son out.

Robin Swezea
Guest
Robin Swezea

That is the absolute truth I know for fact. I’m trying to get my friend to see that her daughter is is doing that to her. She is in denial and will be awhile until I get her on board with accepting or tired of the emotional rollercoaster that is her life. She’s so unhappy but was raised that u never give up on family even if it kills her. It’s frustrating as hell! Wow. Didn’t realize I needed to vent.

Dimitris Leroux
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Dimitris Leroux

If they can affect you negatively. You can also affect them positively. The rest is up to the choice.

Lihanna Fenty Goeieman
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Lihanna Fenty Goeieman

100% AGREE WITH YOU…

Chukwudi Onwubalili
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Chukwudi Onwubalili

Spot on! Great end line too!!

Bond Narayan
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Bond Narayan

MANY INTIMATE THINGS ARE LIKE THIS NOT USUALLY DISCUSSED IN FB !

Morgan Kanae
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Morgan Kanae

You are so right! Toxic family members and people have no place in my life.

Amarjit Kaur Bhatia
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Amarjit Kaur Bhatia

I agree you are right jealousy & insecurity & trying to control each move.

Sandra Jorgensen
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Sandra Jorgensen

Thanku Dianne you are so right about jealousy and insecurity

Sandra Jimenez
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Sandra Jimenez

Well said , and I agree 100%

Janie Conrow Rose
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Janie Conrow Rose

Yes we have one of those in our family praise the Lord. We have physically and emotionally removed our selves from this person!!! And of course in their mind it’s always us
I try to send as many positive post as I can to the child in my life that suffer from a small child to 18 years!!!! And was big enough and strong enough to say NO more she only 5’1 and about 96 pounds the strongest and smartest young woman that I can only praise for her determination and strength!!!!
I pray for and praise any one at any AGE that finally
Stands up to the toxic person and says and means
No More Today,Tomorrow,
Or ever!!!!!

Leanne Attard
Guest
Leanne Attard

what if that person is your teenage daughter and husband?

Alice Young
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Alice Young

I needed to hear this u took the words right out of my miuth . you said it all right . This sounds just like my daughterShe is a drama queen. I dont hzve time for that in my life ! yes i had to cut her off…

Jane Loring
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Jane Loring

I have someone exactly like that “toxic”. Omg

Wayne Buckley
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Wayne Buckley

Elizabeth Hill

Vickie Burling
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Vickie Burling

Thank you for putting into words how I have felt for so many years. Been going through this for years and finally let it go this past year! Feeling like a weight off my shoulders.

Mary Alice Black-Allan
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Mary Alice Black-Allan

You are right on Dianne. It’s just really hard to deal with when it’s one of your own children!

Philip- Robin Pyle
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Philip- Robin Pyle

you are perfectly describing projection..and You are spot on in your description of toxic people most of which are narcissists of one kind or another

Allen Smith
Guest
Allen Smith

Dianne Strambi so well said, so very much truth in your words, most as u stated are very unhappy to begin with and depends on others to complete their happiness and that doesn’t work, that void in their heart has to come from God, a spouse, family member or whoever can’t supply that from them .

Michelle Haddow
Guest
Michelle Haddow

Omg Diane you woke me up! To quote you ” ask you’re toxic person has anyone made them happy”
I have heard this person complain to me about every single woman he ever knew. Its always “their” fault. I’m Not going back. Big thanks x

Noose Key
Guest
Noose Key

I love what you wrote about this @dianne strambi

Julie Brown
Guest
Julie Brown

The majority of “toxic” people described here sound like Narcissists. This is a mental illness, a personality disorder, completely untreatable as they never believe they’ve done anything wrong. They are not capable of empathy and are only able to see things as they affect themselves. No amount of love or kindness will make any difference. If you have a relationship with a narcissist you will always be the giver and most likely suffer for it, and the closer you are, the more hurtful it will be until you realize the problem is never with you, it is always with them. No one is ever good enough for them. It is safer and healthier to accept this, and give up hope of having a “normal” give and take relationship with them no matter how hard you try. You can still love and pray for them, but I don’t believe God would want us to continually accept the abuse these types dish out on a daily basis. We have to learn to love ourselves first in order to be fully available to everyone around us.

I say all this as I have spent over 50 yrs dealing with someone like this. I’ve spent hours in therapy trying to figure out what I was doing wrong or what I needed to do differently. When all along, they were the one with the problem and I was the victim of years of emotional abuse, among others. It took me years to undo the damage and scars left from all this, and I still have buttons that get pushed to this day.

So don’t keep trying to make things work for too long or you will allow them to completely take on control of your life and your heart.

Curt Waterworth
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Curt Waterworth

U let GOD deal with

Jade Crowley
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Jade Crowley

Hugs and healing energy to you Patricia. 💝💞 I guess that’s what happened with me. Im not jealous I just don’t want a secret best friend going on a date “hanging out” with my man while I’m away on a family emergency. Im not stupid I know what happens. Especially her being afraid if how is react if she showed up while I was there! I’m not doing that and would never think of it much even tell him that! Oh but he def did me. 💔😭

Jade Crowley
Guest
Jade Crowley

You wouldn’t want your man going out with another woman would you??

Evangelist Fezeka Mgamlele
Guest
Evangelist Fezeka Mgamlele

Amen

Patricia Franco Davis
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Patricia Franco Davis

BTW spot on the alcohol problem. Every relationship has been a problem with the other person. And since I stop giving in, I am of no use. Thank God this farce is almost over.

Patricia Franco Davis
Guest
Patricia Franco Davis

This is so spot on. I am in the process of ending a toxic marriage and all of a sudden it is this person that is ending it (control), now rather then end it with dignity I am being discarded as garbage (since in his mind he has ended this so called marriage), again control.

Lucy Davies
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Lucy Davies

Danielle Rowlands

The La La Sisterhood
Guest
The La La Sisterhood

Preach it, Di!

Angela Bolton
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Angela Bolton

Toxic people are totally self-absorbed…”me, me, me” it can take a while to acknowledge that it’s them and not you!! and stop blaming yourself for there inadequate and insecure behaviour, but when you do and walk away its liberating!! From that point on your life is your life….👍😀

Carma Butler
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Carma Butler

I walked away from my “toxic” parents and brother when they started having a toxic affect on my own family!!! It was hard at first, but would have been much harder seeing my children deal with it!!! I’m a firm believer people are removed from our lives for a reason!!! Stay strong!!! 👍👍👍😃😃😃

Cecilia Mendicuti
Guest
Cecilia Mendicuti

And if that toxic person is your own son??

Adam Hayes
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Adam Hayes

And what if a toxic person is within your own family. What are you supposed to do then. Can’t exactly just say you don’t want anything to do with them. Any advice on that 1.

Angie Isbell
Guest
Angie Isbell

You worded it better than anyone. I love people and give the shirt off my back, go out of my way and yet I’m hurting her but she has yet to discuss it with me like an adult. I cried and now I’m done. I know I have been a good friend so I’m over it. Let the healing begin

Cea Nix
Guest
Cea Nix

Anna Vassiliou – great assessment! Thanx! Saving.

Lily Balistreri Bono
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Lily Balistreri Bono

Omg everything you guys have written above Is so so true , I’m going through the same thing in my life right now. Thanks for the advice , so much needed.

Mike Davitt
Guest
Mike Davitt

Toxic people have control issues; are jealous; and often have problems with drugs or alcohol.

Abena Akoto
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Abena Akoto

Woooow….. U got this sooooo down to a Teee…😱😱

Anna Vassiliou
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Anna Vassiliou

& all toxic people talk endlessly about what others aren’t doing for them, yet they make absolutely no effort to better their own lives. They are absolutely ungrateful for anything anyone has ever done for them. The moment that you’re no longer an asset, they’ll treat you like yesterday’s garbage, straight to the dump you’ll go. They just expect others to do everything for them and treat you like the worlds most awful person if you don’t put their needs before you own. “You got yourself something new? How dare you! You knew I needed that more than you!” They’ll destroy your life, relationships, do anything to bring you down to their level so you’re a constant source. Then they’ll come to you with open arms, soo sympathetic, even though they know deep inside that they’re the root to all of your problems. They don’t want to see you succeed, with success comes independence and self-confidence. They want you to be absolutely miserable so they’re the only ones you’ll have left. They want you broken to pieces, mentally and/or physically so you’re blind to the truth.

Janet Doe
Guest
Janet Doe

Omg

Vicki Clark Naehu
Guest
Vicki Clark Naehu

KJ… You totally missed Ishtar mark. :/(

Vicki Clark Naehu
Guest
Vicki Clark Naehu

Ishtar…. Perfectly stated. Mahalo.

Theresa Yokley Dalby
Guest
Theresa Yokley Dalby

Amen! You summed this up perfectly! Wish there was a love button!

Kathy Curtis Delzell
Guest
Kathy Curtis Delzell

I agree, and am very sensitive to mental health issues…which I believe is the problem of many toxic people. You absolutely should not stay around someone who verbally abuses you, is selfish, is a bully, controlling, etc., if they do not own up to their behavior, get professional help, and make an effort to change. People with mental health issues deserve relationships, but not at at the expense of another’s self worth!! These people need professional help…..you can’t change them.

KJ Meharg
Guest
KJ Meharg

Ishtar you seem to be sitting high and judging those that decide they will not tolerate toxic people in their lives. Deciding what is and is not acceptable treatment of one’s self is not a judgment of anyone else, nor is it unforgiving or holding a grudge. It is a personal decision to step outside of an abusive situation. You can’t possibly be suggesting that someone stay in a place that allows them to be abused are you?! Love them and be more compassionate as they continue to behave deplorably towards you. Perhaps in some situations but not all and not indefinitely. It’s not mean spirited to remove them, it takes forgiveness, strength and bravery. There are so many people like you that say we should continue to interact, learn and grow but that’s not possible if the toxic person doesn’t change. Some rocks are ugly even after they’re polished. Some people just aren’t worth it and they couldn’t care less, they find a replacement target in no time.

Nadya Light
Guest
Nadya Light

Ishtar SO WELL STATED!!! we are all in this big beautiful blue boat we call earth together..so we might as well stop look listen and learn from the inside out how to get along. That is for ALL!

Ishtar Presnell
Guest
Ishtar Presnell

Love and forgiveness is the key to all ‘dramas’ of life. Being righteously judgmental of ‘Toxic People’ because of what ‘they have done to you’, is no different than the Toxic behaviors of Toxic people, as both types come from a ‘Victim Mentality’ and in both types ‘personal boundaries’ need strengthening. These relationships are catalysts for ALL of those involved to learn from. Wisdom and personal growth comes from human interactions. When we become more balanced and healed of ‘Victim’ mentality, we see others compassionately as on a growth path because we recognized our own growth throughout our years of human interactions and challenging situations. You cannot be affected by Toxic People, if you are truly balanced and whole, for any accusations, put downs, complaints would just not be accepted and seen as their own damaged views of life, but you would not faulter in your own grounded view of yourself, it would be water of a ducks back, and you see them with pity. This doesn’t mean you have to mix with them, you just aren’t affected by them so much, you see them with compassion and mercy with their struggles to learn. Awareness first, understanding and than adjustment .., telling someone doesn’t mean they are aware… It is sometimes a long journey and some may never become aware. For those that do like someone else mentioned above, rejoice and forgiveness should be given. If you hold a grudge and continue being judgmental, so that you are unable to see they have changed, you are being a Victim. If however you just don’t want to connect that’s fine too… Each person has to accept that – friendship is a privilege not an entitlement even though you are related. Life is a ladder, sometimes you see how far you have come in your learning and others climbing behind you, than you look up to see how far you still need to climb, just like those above you setting an example.

Cheena Maake
Guest
Cheena Maake

My sister is the same she tried to turn everyone against me,I am a loner now but It doesn’t worry me!she lost her job 6 months ago and when I found out I went to interviews on her behalve and she’s got a job now and when she told our mother that I organised a job for Mother phoned me and said*Youre a good person don’t let people’s nasty behaviours change who you are*For How long must I keep taking this?I think its time to break this cycle thank you For Sharing and listening God Bless

Brandi Spellman
Guest
Brandi Spellman

Every word you said is exact!!! I just don’t speak/interact to them….I will if I have have have too, but I am far too busy for their stupid drama seeking bull. Before me it was someone else/another family member they did the same crap to & later they’ll backstab someone else, it’s all they know, feel sorry for them actually cause they will never really know life’s actual joys.

Imelda McGreevy
Guest
Imelda McGreevy

Every word you said is spot on and so very true! Sad but true..

Alexsa Wanchick
Guest
Alexsa Wanchick

If you could write the script, What would you want to hear from your sister to make things better between you? I am the “toxic” person that has split my family and I have tried apologies and trying to make up for any ways I have wronged them. I am sincerely sorry but I can’t get through to them. I love them and can’t let go of them…they have let go of me and seem to be fine with that. In my case, I sincerely did not do anything to intentionally hurt any one. It was my inability to cope with the responsibilities of being a single mother after my husband (their father) was killed in an accident. I have not made excuses, I only know I tried, but must have become so task oriented that I did not properly attend to their emotional needs. Thank you for your post and for opening up an opportunity for me to disclose my sorrow and put out to God and the universe how I want to make things right, apologize with all my heart and hope the opportunity presents itself for me to make it up to everyone I may have hurt. Peace to you and all of us struggling with hurtful situations.

Janet Arigo Retterer
Guest
Janet Arigo Retterer

This is all so true….my sister has split our family….no more birthdays or holidays together….she is waiting for an apology from me for her bad behavior…..she will be a waiting a long long time. She never ever accepts responsibility for her actions or words and when confronted, outright lies. I’m done.

Betty Kovlan Rogan
Guest
Betty Kovlan Rogan

Kimberly Nejdl… I identify with just about u say! Don’t forget the ones who r “nice” to u cause they want something!!! Also the ones who want the attention — it’s always about them & how they feel! Never ask u how u r doing! Selfish!!!

Rita Juliette
Guest
Rita Juliette

Quit trying to fix and show a little love, mercy and grace. Yes, some people are hard, but at least you tried.

Kendra Smallwood
Guest
Kendra Smallwood

I have learned toxic men or women show their true selves a little at a time not all at once they don’t want to scare you away before they are absolutely sure they have total control of you. First it will be one friend at a time that will disappear for this reason or that. Then one family member at a time. He/she will convince you that these friends and family members are bad for your relationship. Then your co-workers are next no more girls night out no more Christmas parties etc etc.
I learned the hard way this isn’t a healthy relationship. The toxic person had convinced me all these people were against us but they were the ones that saw how he really was it took me a few more years to see that I was in a controlling relationship. Sad but true store. Now I’m mending those fences that he destroyed and I have learn that my family will always be there for me and so will my true friends. All along he was the one that was bad for me it just took xx # of years to see and break away from him. I am a better person in so many ways for having survived this relationship. It will break you or just make you stronger.

MarufOlutoye
Member
MarufOlutoye

This is absolutely true. i have been in bondage with a toxic woman for more than 20 years. From the onset she told me I should never asked her to further her education. Everything mentioned here began unfolding one after the other. She didn’t like my colleagues , they virtually abandoned me. Childhood friends became bad due to one dream or the other she has against them. Any opportunity for me to attend distant seminal /conference kicked against vehemently . she developed deep hatred for my family
members . Any progressive ideas dumped. she respect no one and find it absolutely difficult to utter the
word “SORRY” . I have constantly been on the begging side . I ran for my life when her utterances are
always towards my demise

T
Guest
T'cher JhayBee

Very well said ms Diane.maybe we can make our own sharing here bout our own experiences about how we deal with those insecure people in the workplace and those “toxic people”.

Tanya Mathew
Guest
Tanya Mathew

I agree — I am done with trying to get my sister’s approval and acceptance. I want peace in happiness in my life.

Moira S Evans
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Moira S Evans

I ignored those tendencies, then I have had to defend myself against lies for nearly 3years. I will survive.

Sissy Kelly
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Sissy Kelly

Wow!!

Paul Snider Sr
Guest
Paul Snider Sr

Thinking I would read the book if you wrote it

Thao Nguyen-Dang
Guest
Thao Nguyen-Dang

Thanh Thi Nguyen

Heather Kennison Stiefel
Guest
Heather Kennison Stiefel

Wow! I didnt look at it that way untill I read this. I have been with a toxic man for 10 years. He chased away all my friends and seems to dislike every single thing about me no matter how often I change to please him. Time for a big change. Thank you!!!

Mandy Ellis
Guest
Mandy Ellis

Same as above wish I had not wasted years trying to fix my sister , she is toxic to the core I am now 51 , and had years of being bullied by her , she draws me in every time and then the toxic drama begins again , I also choose a man that did the very same to me . I have worked very hard on my self for the past two years they are both out if my life for good , and I have never been so happy my life is full if wonderful people that I love . The good thing for me now is I can spot a toxic person early on . So the door closes very fast in that one . Be happy people xxx

Jalene Ellis Weigand
Guest
Jalene Ellis Weigand

I wish I would have read your comment years ago. Just made a break from a person just like this. There were red flags through out our relationship , and constant manipulation. So glad to have moved on.

Milissa Smith
Guest
Milissa Smith

God grace is sufficient.

Kimberly Nejdl
Guest
Kimberly Nejdl

A number of toxic people I have known also display sociopathic tendencies and are extremely manipulative.

Life for them tends to be like the perils of Pauline and of course nothing is their fault. They are always allegedly the victim…

Do not engage when they want to argue. In my personal experience many “live to argue” and have been keeping lists, emails, tallies, etc. just for this very purpose so they can whip out your words to use against you especially out of context…

Danuta Stefanson
Guest
Danuta Stefanson

You hit this one right on !

Anna Tenikoff Smith
Guest
Anna Tenikoff Smith

Well said!

Linda Schwerdtmann Sammartino
Guest
Linda Schwerdtmann Sammartino

Right on!!

MrsGrace エルサンド
Guest
MrsGrace エルサンド

very well said! thank you for this i am now feel relieved.. i still thinking of their awful attitude but now i understand bec. of what you wrote.. i am now letting it go.

Catherine Ann
Guest
Catherine Ann

You’re right… You could give them the world and they’re still insecure.. You’re not their therapist … Time to break from toxic people or see yourself fade .. It’s awful it happened to me

Lorrie Creech
Guest
Lorrie Creech

Well said!

Rosemary Barrass
Guest
Rosemary Barrass

Sounds like my niece and family. Has been very traumatic and won’t let me see my disabled nephew ie her half brother as he wanted us to care for him she didn’t want me around, ran me down abusive etc. so she got the entire family to write negative stuff about me and they now comply to her demands, it’s her way or no way.
Very tragic for me. As lost my family including my mother and siblings.

Saanchi Uniyal
Guest
Saanchi Uniyal

hw do we diffrntiate n nt fall fr their tricks.. dat dey dnt lve us…

Laura Burton Spears
Guest
Laura Burton Spears

Dianne, I agree wholeheartedly with what you said. My niece, Leah Haley shared this on her wall, and when I read it, it reminded me of a conversation I had recently about the toxic people in my life (meaning additive in NO way) wherein I determined the next few years of my life should be spent on better relationships and eliminating the toxic ones! Life is good! I’m in a happy place and I’m not going to let anyone take that from me, I deserve it! I know many people who leave nothing but a path of destruction behind them and refuse to change, and for some reason want other to spend time, money etc. Cleaning it up. Mostly, there problems seem to be attitudinal. Some may be related to mental illness and can’t be helped. For the attitudinal behavior, I say “Change your attitude = change your life”. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Dianne, I’m right there with you!

Barbara Lane
Guest
Barbara Lane

I had a friend move in. She became a witch, actually, seances, and other stuff, everyone who met her said she was a narsasist. I never knew what that meant,,but, she did pay the electric bill..not the pool expenses or house bills…she had it good.When she left, she stole over $500 of my art supplies and other things.she was taking pain killers all day and woke at 2 am, .and 5 am…what an experience !! I will never have another roomate,,

Chris Wingert Butler
Guest
Chris Wingert Butler

Very well said Dianne and soooo true

Chris Wingert Butler
Guest
Chris Wingert Butler

My toxic husband of 28 yrs shot himself in the head I front of me one month ago tonight because of this exact reason. He was toxic. No one could help him bcuz he wouldn’t Allow it. Why would he? HE didn’t have a problem. Everyone else did since they simpy wouldn’t do what he wanted as his way was the only way. He drove everyone away from him. In the end he believed I was responsible for his happiness and his life. Since he saw me as unsuccessful he wanted me to pay for that and see how much I had hurt him. TOXIC SICKNESS. PLZ PLZ PLZ GET AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE BEFORE U GET SO FAR SUCKED IN. They have to realize their own issues in their own of they want to. If not that’s in them. No one else

Pam Noel
Guest
Pam Noel

Our family has been broken by a toxic girlfriend, seriously broken.

Sylvia Asuquo
Guest
Sylvia Asuquo

You hit the nail on the head! Several times I have thought of writing a book.

Kimberly Adams Coon
Guest
Kimberly Adams Coon

It is hard to do when it’s family, BUT no one is going to be a dark force in my children’s lives. I’ made the decision years ago and I have never looked back. My life is good.

Angelia Joiner
Guest
Angelia Joiner

I feel for those on this thread that fill their children are toxic to them. That must be the worst feeling ever. My mother was a toxic person in my life. She told lies about me and talked behind my back. She liked me best when my life was in a shambles. I had to let go for my piece of mind. She’s in the nursing home now and I go see her occasionally. When she starts getting negative I leave. I always tell her I love her and she tells me the same. I suppose she does love me in her own wAy. It works for me. Have no idea how I will feel when she dies. She has end stage emphysema. Will cross that bridge when I come to it but I think I will be okay.

Marie-Therese Becker Billingsley
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Marie-Therese Becker Billingsley

Amen to that!

Habukiah Khola Bhalogun
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Habukiah Khola Bhalogun

Toxic people are the worst people on this planet

Walter Nero
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Walter Nero

I have spent along time dealing with toxic people. I have made peace with them & I have gone a different direction. I no longer deal with these toxic people. I am much happier. If they pass away, well I will burn that bridge when I get there.

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Exactly Ernestine!

Ernestine Robles
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Ernestine Robles

Wow it sounds like there are so many suffering pain sadness going on.You must somehow come to your own decisions.Only you know what mistreatments abuse you’ve endured. And only the people envolved know how we keep trying to help the wrong doer.But nothing seems to help they may be kind or tolerant of you trying yo fix things and then your right back on step one and over and over again. No matter how much you love this person its a re volving door..Seems like no progress was ever made.It doesn’t matter if your the mother, sister, brother. Husband relatives,or friend you can’t reach them they font want you to reach them because You are interfering with their way of life. It’s time to stop besting yourself up.stop putting the blame on yourself, stop telling yourself if only I did this or that!!Love yourself first and your children and the person tearing you apart forgive them if you can.But go your way. And ask God if you believe in Him to guide you in the New Path you are taking. He will walk beside you all the way. It doesn’t mean life will be perfect but you will take a lot off your shoulders and hopefully.release some of the heartache that you’ve endured.My prayers go out yo all of you and give you peace of mind and fill your hearts with love and happiness

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Sue, There are days I could use a support group. I think, somehow, I attract hateful, vile, mean people…. I don’t even mean family right now. Are there genuinely good people left in the world?

Sue Rucks
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Sue Rucks

Where can we find a support group of people online? Sounds like many of us are struggling with the “pain” of it all. I go to alanon and have read many books trying to “figure out” what disorder my son might have besides alcoholism. At times I think he’s a sociopath/anti-social personality disorder-I’m no doctor and can’t peg it. But sounds pretty right on to me. Has taken many years to start putting all the puzzle pieces together. Whatever, have endured too much pain, tears and confusion.

Peggy Caldiero
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Peggy Caldiero

@shelly, it’s hard to let go of toxic family, you were alone with them in your life and unhappy, this is better I promise you, I have had to do this too, give it time and fill the void with happy loving people

Helen Darby
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Helen Darby

Thank you!! I had to finally let go of family member(2) and it feels really good AND most important, did not want them to be negative influence on my kids. However, some of my family and friends keep insisting that I “make up” with them. They can’t understand that I am not mad, just made a decision that after 35 yrs. of their treatment, I am, done. They cannot change who they are and I cannot continue on expecting them to be different. It’s called “letting go with love’!

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Shelly, I am so sorry….. there is no easy way to deal with it or to get over it. While I’ve never looked back, it still brings some pain. With that being said, it’s less pain than what the toxic family members brought. Feel free to message me if you need someone to listen.

Shelly Pinkston
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Shelly Pinkston

When its Family.boy does that make for.a alot of lonely times. I’m in the beginning part of realizing, it hurts a lot how do I over come that? I love them so much, but its not returned, its like they are incapable of it, makes me feel like.an alien, I’m so broken ……so have no one now

KJ Meharg
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KJ Meharg

Thank you for all of your open and honest sharing, it’s a difficult and painful position to be in and to get out of. Having to deal with the rest of the family is painful as, ironically, you become the one they blame, not the toxic person. I’m the bad guy for setting boundaries for me and my kids. I miss those I’m estranged from but know that life is better without the damage that continuing a relationship with them would bring. I’ve broken the cycle and shown my children that you can love someone that hurt you but you are ultimately the one that decides what treatment is tolerable to you. Stay strong, it is worth the pain and grief.

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Dawn, Many hugs to you!! It is hard and the pain associated with it initially is hard, but in the long run life is better.

Dawn Aaris
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Dawn Aaris

Letting go of a loved one, a family member. . . is one of the toughest choices a mother could ever make. However, being an enabler for years, thinking love, forgiveness, setting good standards on how to live would change this person. . . sometimes it just doesn’t work. It’s so sad, and the grief I am experiencing is unfathomable. When one experiences lies, stealing, physical and mental abuse. . . boundaries have to be drawn. I am letting this person experience the consequences of their choices. . . I am so sorry. But, I must set myself free from the ‘grip of the devil’. . . I will say my faith in my God has grown tremendously. My beloved is now in the hands of God, and I pray that a miracle will happen.

Chantal Young
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Chantal Young

I think people should read up on the psychology behind “removing” toxic people from their lives – cognitive assonance and dissonance. It’s an interesting theory for those battling. And I don’t think we should be out lynching those who have trouble trying to separate themselves from family etc. We should be supporting each other and not trying to score points.

Arlene Miracola
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Arlene Miracola

If you don’t break the cycle of allowing a toxic person to abuse you then your an enabler. We’d all love the wonderful loving supportive family but many times it’s beyond reach. Self worth and self love is a very good thing to nourish. If every time you reach out a hand and it’s slapped away you have to leave that relationship where it is and move on.

Joan Seaton
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Joan Seaton

My Mother-in-law tried. to destroy our marriage — her own Minister told me she had to go — there is no room in a marriage for 3 people — regardless of who they are — her loss.

Cynthia Mary Douglass
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Cynthia Mary Douglass

Rita Juliette you obviously have never had a toxic person in your life. Or you would understand the utter need to do the unthinkable. I have had to cut out my Mother for a second time just recently. I thought and dreamed I could have a relationship with her again after 30 years of staying away to protect myself and my daughter. I tried to make a go of it again. But you cannot have a relationship with a Borderline Personality no matter how much you try, hope, dream, wish, to have one. There is no growth on their part. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are not capable of healthy boundries, kindness, or all the games they just love to play. All at my expense. Nope not going to happen, again.

Rollen Norico-Pecson Salmon Nolasco
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Rollen Norico-Pecson Salmon Nolasco

If the situation calls for it specially to protect your kids then the distance is necessary. If visitation is possible, never left the kids alone with him. Protect your children at all times. They are the future.

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Nancy, if that happened to you, I am truly sorry…. for ME though it’s something I have already taken into consideration. Toxic people don’t just change because you are worried they may die while you are having no contact… If those that are toxic made a conscious effort to change then that would be a different story, but no where does it say that I have to keep subjecting myself to their hostility, negativity, lies, manipulations, or deceipt. I forgave them a long time ago, but that it no way means I have to allow them back into my life.

Nancy McCoy
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Nancy McCoy

Yea and then the family member dies young. You always loved them but they hurt you. And now that they are gone, you miss them even though you were betrayed. That’s an even deeper hurt that it wasn’t settled.

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Rita, I don’t feel it’s easy at all to decide to no longer have contact with a family member. While it isn’t easy, it was a NECESSITY for me. Toxic people can poison all those that they are around. I didn’t want to reconcile when I made the decision, I don’t want to reconcile now, and I won’t want to reconcile a year or 10 from now. End of story.

Rita Juliette
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Rita Juliette

I have a different twist. When you cut people out completely there is no hope of reconciliation or personal positive growth. Writing people off is a consequence of our throw away society. It’s sad, there are many broken people because of this. There is such a thing as healthy boundaries, but the easy way is to discard people.

Michelle Favrow
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Michelle Favrow

I dropped my stepson. I encourage a relationship with his father though just because I don’t have to deal with him doesn’t mean he doesn’t.

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Thank you, Robert. Maria, I don’t claim to have all of the answers, but I do know toxic people can destroy you. I won’t allow that to happen, no matter who it is. We have 6 children and they all know how things work. It would still be cut and dry for ME. That in no way is advice for YOU. My post was strictly about my family. I cut out my dad because of his wife, and my brother because of him and his wife. If you’re a liar, manipulator, user, liar, did I mention liar? If you radiate constant negative energy, you will NOT be part of my life. Cut and dry.

Sean Ryan
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Sean Ryan

Sbg Cenq Jesus is speaking to me.

Angel Armstead
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Angel Armstead

I’m tempted to move out the country to get certain people out of my life permanently. I get sick and tired of being accused for everything nd other petty stuff. I don’t even have to be around to be blamed.

Diane Seals
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Diane Seals

I cut off my cousins on my Dad’s side for continually saying my toddler was not “normal” because he doesn’t talk yet (he is receiving therapy) and insulting me for moving away from my home state.

Manuela Scott Ptacek
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Manuela Scott Ptacek

Just closed the last door on TOXIC siblings yesterday! It was a door that would close and then creak open again, but this last week we finally closed out the parents family home and it was sooooo liberating! I am DONE with those people!

James Viggiani
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James Viggiani

Family can be tough but when these toxic family members take advantage of your kindness then it’s time

Maria Hayes
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Maria Hayes

Just a question…what do you do when that relative is your child? Not so cut and dry so to speak.

Ted Szukalski
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Ted Szukalski

“THIS” form of communication can be VERY hazardous to a persons relationship as I found out the HARD WAY ! When talking face to face there is always a way to correct a misinterpreted word or phrase. Where as TEXTING there is only one way to take this. Little to NO room for corrections or explanations. What do you think ?

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Angela, Thank you so much!!

Agreed Jayne, and sadly for me it was my dad’s wife (my mom died a very sudden and tragic death) and my dad for the most part had to go, too. I surround myself with happy and positive!

Jayne Gray
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Jayne Gray

Same here. It’s not good for my children to think it’s acceptable to be treated badly by someone just because they are family.

Liane H Hussey
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Liane H Hussey

welet abuncvh go tooless stres too and evenhavea bnew wil done up theyarenotinit at allperiod namedtoget nothing inmy willand hubys will tooso happy fort hat too

Beth Kellum
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Beth Kellum

Agree

Angela Martins
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Angela Martins

You are so right. You have become the beacon of hope your children deserve. God go with you all your days.

Kimberly Adams Coon
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Kimberly Adams Coon

Thank you, Anj le!

Tina Marie Zaccagna
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Tina Marie Zaccagna

Toxic people are sick
People they will
Never take responsibility for anything most of them
Suffer from personality disorders deep
Seeded emotional
Problems they are narcissists , bi polar , they are filled with rage , they have misplaced anger issues , they are controlling , they are sociopaths sometimes or borderline personalities they are clever manipulators don’t believe any thing they say they are pathological liars yeah I know all about it I married one I got rid of him and my
Life is better waaaaaay better :))))

Anita Drake
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Anita Drake

A very PAINFUL MARRIAGE CAUSED ME GREAT HARM. JUST WRITING THIS IS CAUSING ME MENTAL AND PHYSICAL DISTRESS. I MUST STOP, CAN’T WRITE ANY FURTHER.

Glenda Rogers-Alestock
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Glenda Rogers-Alestock

omg I so Love

Amy M Fay
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Amy M Fay

The worst part is feeling helpless to help them. Then feeling Ivinsible all together. But then when you go as free as you feel they try to pull you back in. Needing you to make them feel better to stop the hurt. There anguish fear and self pain. Once you dont return the suicidal tendancys surface and then when you finally stop listening and stop being supportive. Out comes there anger abuse and horrible sayings. There was a person in my life that to this day i still hope for them that they will see the light. I am glad im free

Sarah Davis
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Sarah Davis

I agree Pat Butynski very strongly.

Janie Coffman
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Janie Coffman

A long time he refused to take his meds because he couldn’t stand the label. He was terrified his friends would find out and he had seen what happened to other kids who were labeled

Janie Coffman
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Janie Coffman

F

Janie Coffman
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Janie Coffman

My sin is bi- polar with tourettes and as long as he is on his a meds u can’t find a better person. But before we found out what the problem was, he was evil and cruel. But they gave to want help and for

Janie Coffman
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Janie Coffman

Ur not getting the point. People can b toxic without being bi-polar. Its unfair to paint them all with the same brush

Simone Sharona Papadopoulos
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Simone Sharona Papadopoulos

Tina Marie you have described my bf completely. It’s a very bad position for me because he is so unstable it is scary.

Monica Womble
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Monica Womble

Fawn Cowgill, they most certainly are toxic if they harm you and your loved ones. It’s never acceptable to be constantly hurt by someone with or without a diagnosis. Sorry…

Monica Womble
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Monica Womble

My life is way better too!!! We’re we married to the same guy? The question remains… Why did we select them to marry in the first place?

Fawn Cowgill
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Fawn Cowgill

Seriously. People with mental disorders are not considered toxic! Ignorance at it’s best.

Janie Coffman
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Janie Coffman

Thank u Marcia. This is why mental illness is maligned by people. Do u think people with this illness want to b this way. Its a horrible existence that no one would choose. Its comments like these on this thread that keep people from being diagnosed and getting help. They r so afraid of being labeled that they won’t seek the help they so desperately need

Marcia Krasinski Lussier
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Marcia Krasinski Lussier

Please stop maligning people with mental illnesses and lumping them into a certain category. I know a number of people who suffer from bipolar disorder, who are not toxic, who are not wicked and Cruel. So please stop insinuating that that is part and parcel of their illness. It is not. Just because you had a bad experience with the toxic person who happened to be bipolar does not mean that they were toxic because they were bipolar. I know a couple of people who are amazingly toxic, and they were not bipolar. They were definitely narcissistic though

Jeanne Moattari
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Jeanne Moattari

Toxic people are people who have no sense of responsibility.

Joseph Fisher
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Joseph Fisher

All I can say is you Start seeing sign’s of trouble you end it. It does not matter if you love this person,but you always get rid of the negative immediately! One chance is more than enough than you pull the plug. Anybody that sticks around is asking for trouble. For good will not keep evils company for long,they will get rid of it like a bad cold!

Sandy Lackey
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Sandy Lackey

Yes I have a daughter in law like this and have to put up with on a daily basis-ugh::::

Clare Young
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Clare Young

You have no idea ..you are uneducated and uninformed this post makes you look a twat

Clare Young
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Clare Young

Bi polar you say .. how uneducated

Karin Flower
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Karin Flower

Couldn’t have put it better

Leslie Henderson
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Leslie Henderson

I did too and I’m just starting the healing process from his emotional abuse…bye asshole

Ross Mason
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Ross Mason

I got rid of one too bi polar pathological liar. Wow she was a Trip.

Nadine C Bartlett
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Nadine C Bartlett

Its. So hard when its ur daughter…….. but I know its the best

Pat Butynski
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Pat Butynski

Hey. There’s no excuse for abuse. It’s important however to take a good hard painful look at ourselves, and rather than blame… Ask ourselves why some of us keep attracting toxic people? Who among us has zero toxicity? We really can’t blame them for our acting like animals in response. I came out of an abusive home. After many years of gravitating to what was familiar and seemed like love, I had to ask my educated self.. ( say that tongue in cheek because I still kept choosing losers, no matter how, much head knowledge I was aquiring )- -What is MY problem? Then I went to the hard work of forgiving them and me… And deciding that I would not blame others for my reactive personality. I sought help.

You can learn and grow and become better. Not better than them… Better than your old you. You model kindness, love, self control, prudence! Etc. THEN. One day you will realize that person who aided you so much pain, just might be Gods instrument to refine you! That is a beautiful thing… And you don’t have to carry poison in you, that may pour out on anyone else!

Tammy Willoughby Youngblood
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Tammy Willoughby Youngblood

Omg….so true….been there many times…married into it three times…see it happening again…

Lori Webb
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Lori Webb

Yes.Exactly.Very sick people. You can’t help them.They will turn everything around on you and make it look like you are the sick one.And they will think you are mean if you try and tell them anything.God is the only one that can help them.

Bembeth Cabanelez
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Bembeth Cabanelez

Of course.

Demetria London
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Demetria London

we’re not talking about bipolar or talking about single situations were talking about toxic people where is the diffence coming from all these people that are defending toxic people you must look at yourself if everything in your life has been destroyed or just a messyou must be toxic you shouldn’t be on here defending a statement that was made that is a fact with toxic people they minimize everything like its nothing or like its not them these people that are on here going against what the whole statement was about those are the very type of people that are highly toxic

Demetria London
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Demetria London

when a person is toxic yuno it doesn’t matter if it’s one person or many people they don’t single out anyone they are very toxic amongst everyone being toxic mean that you have aura around you and in you that’s not a very good positive aura and whatever you attach yourself to or you have yourself around and it attaches itself to you then its going to be a negative situation regardless that’s the toxic person now someone that’s just toxic in your life it could mean that you’re just not the right person for that person and maybe you’re the toxic person

Demetria London
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Demetria London

oh I forgot to add he had a prior fiance for 5 years whom passed away from a brain aneurysm, toxic people.

Demetria London
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Demetria London

I used to get so sick of this post posting on my wall but now that I read it and I have over read some of the comments on here especially this one it pinpoints it and arrows everything down to every problem in my relationship I was dealing with a highly toxic person for three years I have now just realized that this talk station will never leave so I had to detach myself from this toxic person because they were making me angry and taking me to levels of pissed tippity I have never been to.dealing with this person caused me to have very bad heart pain and very bad anxiety attacks very bad headaches to the point where I was at the edge of a brain aneurysm.

Kate Blackman
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Kate Blackman

As long as you practice self care as well.but I’d rather cut the tie Family or not.

Kate Blackman
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Kate Blackman

I have experienced a person with this as well.so powerful was she that inside one wk she managed to turn So many against me.there was nothing i could do to please or apease the situation

Denise Smith
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Denise Smith

Wow

Annette M. Navarro
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Annette M. Navarro

Melody Craig

Greg Meadows
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Greg Meadows

You have no idea how much I agree and I am so sorryI love you for putting that statement forward you know who I am. The dumbass move that I made has haunted me to this day. Love you Joni Stallman

Cyndy Layo Lapidez
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Cyndy Layo Lapidez

Walk away and surrender him to the Lord

Janice Garland
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Janice Garland

Being Bipolar does not always mean your a bad person! It is a chemical imbalance that often does not show up until later in life or a traumatic event! If the individual accepts the diagnosis, work closely with a good Psychiatrist, and takes there meds regardless of how they feel! You would not even know they are bipolar! Now there are exception to everything! They may have more than one mental disorder which makes them dangerous! Most of us work daily with passive- aggressive people! They are very dangerous group of people! Personality disorder bring drama with them everywhere they go! Narcissistic people are extremely charismatic as is the psychopath! A lot of CEO’s and people in positions of power are psychopaths! They can lay off 20,000 people and go immediately and have lunch!

James Peet
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James Peet

Not all men are like that.

Karina Nicotra
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Karina Nicotra

The trouble is they don’t care and we are left hurt. But better not to have them in our lives. Well done for walking away.

Linda Broussard Fontenot
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Linda Broussard Fontenot

I have a son that has all of those behaviors, and you never know what will send him on a for of rage. According to him he is never wrong, everyone else is wrong.

Helen Roper
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Helen Roper

Lived with this kind of person, lucky to get out alive

Helen Roper
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Helen Roper

Wow, there’s one right there^^

Karen Lee Ginter Flamming
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Karen Lee Ginter Flamming

And there’s your sign. Typical!

Suzanne Reardon
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Suzanne Reardon

Go Tina-you nailed it!

Donna Webb
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Donna Webb

You sure ARE. Right every thing. exactly

Donna Philmus Breitowich
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Donna Philmus Breitowich

You’re right on the mark here. It’s what any decent therapist would say.

Tamara Ranck-escobar
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Tamara Ranck-escobar

Wow: were we with the same person??? I at least now I can stop that type of person & behavior. AND can spot it in anyone now save me future frustration & heartache. ♡

Susan Mitchell
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Susan Mitchell

chill out! there is good and bad in everyone

Annie Yazdani
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Annie Yazdani

Some of them are or have been controlling vast sums of moneywith no regard for wellbeing of people or planet

Felena M Bartlett
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Felena M Bartlett

I almost married one

Bon Toy
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Bon Toy

I was married to one too and have 2 brothers with the same pathological sickness

Ajinkya Patil
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Ajinkya Patil

Borderline personality disorder😛

Kim Bennett
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Kim Bennett

How do u the person I know, that’s so true right to the point.

Denise Wuske
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Denise Wuske

mirror mirror on the wall

Denise Wuske
Guest
Denise Wuske

I want this posted in my page

Shannon Craig RN
Guest
Shannon Craig RN

Aisha Snead

Emkyra K Tutara
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Emkyra K Tutara

Well said

Jules Zalewski
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Jules Zalewski

I had a so called friend like that once. Would do anything if it suited her…great at manipulation too and still doing it.

Debbie Kraus Urban
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Debbie Kraus Urban

Toxic to you may not be toxic to another and there are just sick relationships that are toxic. Should not always blame others. It always takes 2 (or more) to have a toxic relationship. Best to focus on what you did to cobtribute, change that about yourself, and you probably won’t gind yourself in another one. However, continue to blame the other person a d their “diagnosis” will land you in another relationship with another “diagnosis.”

Alicia L Branch
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Alicia L Branch

My GOD SO TRUE! !!!THANK YOU LORD

Ed Matthews
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Ed Matthews

You just described a liberal Dem…Funny!!!!

Patricia Gabriel
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Patricia Gabriel

You have to experience this to understand the level of crazy they go to… they have a team of followers who support their bs too!

Anita Peek Rogers
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Anita Peek Rogers

I was married to one of those for 32 years now im free!

Roxanne Olemeda
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Roxanne Olemeda

I got rid of mine too but now I’m dealing with a son who must have inherited his genetics. I’m not used to ppl like that we didn’t have no crazy nutzo ppl in my family till I married one. Now I have to kick my son to the curb for treating me the same way. Took me too long to realize it because they do break you down but no son of mine will treat me this way ever again

John King
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John King

I had a wife that’s bi polar and all the other stuff to she hert me she not letting me see. My dotter it sucks bad

Jackie Reames
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Jackie Reames

I am trying to break up with a guy like that,I don’t understand why I keep thinking he will change because he can’t change. I feel so much more relieved until he starts talking and “selling himself”

Eloisa Reynolds
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Eloisa Reynolds

Tina Marie Zaccagna. You seem to know “these toxic” traits! Well. Hmmm’ Sounds as though you’ve got it all nailed. Look at yourself In the mirror! Look long and hard! You’ll see ALL you tossed out, looking right back at YOU

Kristle Chante Shuler
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Kristle Chante Shuler

My opinion is some people use there disorders to manipulate an have an excuse to do bad an hurtful things to people, the bottom line is this people pretend well they will continue to keep the “MASKS” on as long as you still serve a purpose to them when no longer do the “MASKS”slides down the real them appears an your tryin to figure out who the F****is this because the person thats in front off you now lets you know they never gave a Dam about u in the first place, so see its not always an “Mental Illness”some people are just cold an callous an only loves you an cares for you when it’s convenient, when you catch on to there “Bullish”an wisen up that’s when the love, loyalty, commitment along with other things fly out the door an they are now in search of there next “victim” they are like vampires they either suck you dry or dam near leave you for dead “oh” but wait it doesn’t sometimes end there they have a way of coming back when things crumble they know good people there not dumb after all they fooled us beware the intentions are cruel whether it family members, relationship, or friends! !!

Brittany Nicole Knight
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Brittany Nicole Knight

Just because someone has a mental illness doesn’t make them toxic. That’s like saying someone who has health issues ie: diabetes or cancer is weak. In fact those that live with a mental illness or a health issue are the strongest people. And sometimes the most kind. Your post made you sound like a judge mental asshole, though I’m sure that’s not what you intended. I was diagnosed with anxiety and ptsd when I was seven…does that mean I’m going to go shoot up a school?

Kim Riley
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Kim Riley

Wen u have a “Only Child” who is an Addict & u try Everythng & Anythng to help them fight this Sickness! Wen ur sickk to ur stomach becus u dnt knw wheather their dead or alive! U never knw wat its like until u walk in someones Shoes…Go thru it Urself & youll think alil different Ppl are so easly to say shit about somethng they have No Clue about smfh….I dnt wish any of it in anybdy But jus becareful wat u say!!

Helen Moffat
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Helen Moffat

Oh dear people with bipolar are toxic??? What a shame people are so uneducated.

Herlë Rebecca
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Herlë Rebecca

research asperger’s.

Wendy Molina Hersh
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Wendy Molina Hersh

Sorry to hear it Michelle. I have no answers but don’t give up on yourself or him. Get him help if you can. If you are worried about his or your safety you can call the police and ask for a 5150 evaluation. They might be able to help.

Susan Van Zanten
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Susan Van Zanten

Ditto!! 🙂

Michelle Weaver
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Michelle Weaver

Im having real problems with my son…he is so angry making disastrous decisions owing money get involved with drugs he been kicked out of college he’s adhd asd spd….I think he has bipolar or post yramatic stress but he wont go to doctors hes now barricaded himself in room hes self harming I have health problems too brittle asthma its not helping. …I love him and do tell him that he’s 17…never smoked went college now smoking weed and doing a lot more drugs I understand experimentation but hes abusing himself and everything. …..heeeeeeeelp

Sharon Koester
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Sharon Koester

You are so right. I am learning to care for myself after a near nervous breakdown from living with a narcissistic husband who meets criteria for a sociopath.

Sharon Koester
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Sharon Koester

I am recovering from an abusive 2nd marriage which has a total lie. All the posts on here have been my life and nearly destroyed me.
God has been merciful and my strength to move forward and heal.

Di Moore
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Di Moore

Well stated !

Gary Clothier
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Gary Clothier

Thank u
Daniel morgan I feel the same

Janice Stanfield
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Janice Stanfield

no people like to use that stuff as a crutch for thier behavior truth is they are just assholes

Angela Nelson
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Angela Nelson

Tina….thank u

Angela Nelson
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Angela Nelson

You know!!!! Glad u r out!!! When it’s a older sibling…..they are master manipulators…your post..made me recall….when they are confronted….they turn to Rage…& you can see them for what they really are!!!

Denise Nolan
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Denise Nolan

My ex boyfriend is like that . Wish there was a website to warn other victims !!

Catherine Ahern
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Catherine Ahern

Tina at least have the respect not to generalise. How many people with bi polar have you met. I have met a lot and certainly would not describe them as toxic. Just because you had a bad experience don’t paint us all with the same brush

Dori Whilden Jenkins
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Dori Whilden Jenkins

But not all bi-polar people are those other things. You didn’t mean that, right?

Shirley Barbour
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Shirley Barbour

Boy did you hit the nail on the head with that one, but I was I lucky, it wasn’t my husband, it was another relative. My life is more peaceful now.

Cheryl Frank
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Cheryl Frank

We all experience people like that in our life. Often wondered if its a test of some kind. Like survival of the fittest. The botton line is…its like pruning a rose bush. Cut the dead wood out and watch the rose thrive.

Morgan Kanae
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Morgan Kanae

True. Most if them deny, lie , never apologize and are mater manipulaters. Sad.

Monica Paige
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Monica Paige

Sounds JUST like my mother & brother!

Janine Wangen
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Janine Wangen

I was married to a borderline !
I soo get it and can spot these people easily, male or female.
They will take u down then spit on you.

Debbie Payne
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Debbie Payne

Ive lived with one for 28 years. I finally got the courage to leave and feel great now. I actually think about life in a different way. I feel free and can now enjoy my life as a person

Daniel Morgan
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Daniel Morgan

Sorry for not proof reading it first. Taping on a phone with big fingers is not easy…

Daniel Morgan
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Daniel Morgan

People that think like you cause suicides were not all the same just because of a diagnosis. “Labels” decrease the chances of the person finding out the possibilities of miss diagnossed cause of thire problem. It took me 60 years to figure out why I was fighting severe guilt for a crime I did not b commit. My parents both past away last year. This year im finally away from my controling x wife. I was scared to death to take that leap of faith but supporting triend see held my hand through it. I wouldbalways have given the short off my back to someone in need. My only brother (no sisters) shot himself because of the very same surroundings. We are not all the same so do not spread labels around like a death sentence!!! Your spreading death sententances to all that listen to your ignorance!!! Stop removing hope to thoughs that suffer silently, alone. Didn’t you listen to the Robin Williams story??? I’m just like him but my brother beat me to this solution. I change lifes sacrificing myself be I want to be accepted! I’m just a shell now trying to reach out for acceptance. People like you put me here. So who’s worth saving from this hell on earth thinking? At least a few. Don’t be part of this circle. ….people believe you cuz its juicy! It prevents hope for us. Leave if you need! but dot not label, glorify and destroy just because you had bad experience. My x was always veiwed as the saint and it infuriated me inside because her controling behavior to lock me in paralyzed me. For the first time I’m not fighting depression now that she’s gone. Extreme insecurity and jelousey destroy good spouse’s. So brings the question, who was the good, bad or evil? She’s just about lost all her cheer leaders because she lost a man that did and would have walked the end of the world for her. A mess ejection of her family and friends was the best thing that could have happened to me. They all believed heh practice to decieve now she’s a mess, alone, and pissed because she lost me. The man she labeled because she didnt want to loose me? Imagine that?

Gojar MC
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Gojar MC

An ex friend is like that. Her chronic lying wreaked havoc in our friendship. Although its sad to part with her, I am more peaceful now not having her in my life.

Nikkia Davis
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Nikkia Davis

Sounds like my boyfriend. I am sooooo reeady to go! Each thing sounds like you met him before!

Kelly Gill Frank
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Kelly Gill Frank

Sometimes the hardest choices yield the greatest rewards. It’s not about not caring for that person, it’s about caring for yourself first. Trying to survive this crazy world without the extra pain. Sometimes you have to rip the bandaid off quickly and just focus on moving forward.

Melvin Barcelo
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Melvin Barcelo

exactly you have a balance point of views

George Izzy Johnston
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George Izzy Johnston

I’m with you guys and finally getting there, its been a long slog. But i know it can only get better xx

John Eckert
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John Eckert

Yes one has to care about themselves. I have been told that I am selfish. Tired of carrying extra baggage I don’t need. Thank you

Tina Yoesting
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Tina Yoesting

So true!.!.!..!

Laurie Damiani
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Laurie Damiani

Well said!!

Ronald Darrah
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Ronald Darrah

Amen to that..

Bill Duplessie
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Bill Duplessie

Perfect

Kathleen Carr Di Fulvio
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Kathleen Carr Di Fulvio

I had to do the same..my heart is healing…

Michelle Bartoletti
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Michelle Bartoletti

Amen

Rachel D Peñaranda
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Rachel D Peñaranda

I like ur comment po…

Neri Mahabir
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Neri Mahabir

Thanks man, it’s better late than never i say

Debie Romano
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Debie Romano

I just had to let go of them like a bandaid, cuz they were just dragging my life down so I prayed about it and was told to let go or else my life wasn’ t gonna go where God had planned for my life to be.

Carlyn Lister
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Carlyn Lister

Amen, some people you just can’t help no matter how hard you try,so pray for them & put them into GOD’S. HANDS,AMEN.

Prabhu Fury
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Prabhu Fury

well said😉

Islandritz Crisostomo
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Islandritz Crisostomo

Crashed and burned….learning how to care for me now. I guess it’s better late than never…

Brenda Jew Waters
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Brenda Jew Waters

Well said!

Rowena Jacinto Laraquel
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Rowena Jacinto Laraquel

true!!

Maria Cristina Ongsiako
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Maria Cristina Ongsiako

Exactly you are right….

Tanya Sosinko Elliott
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Tanya Sosinko Elliott

Absolutely…it’s hard enough getting through this life sometimes, anyway, without toxic, jealous-minded or mean-spirited people clogging up one’s mind and life, getting in the way.

Corie Slauson Multari
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Corie Slauson Multari

You couldn’t have said it better ! Thank you!

Lisa Carson Carrion
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Lisa Carson Carrion

well said kelly :((

Karen Dickens
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Karen Dickens

Very well said ! Exactly what I had to do! Am moving on & healing !

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

Wow! My heart goes out to all of you gals. (My man was a little like this when we married 42 years ago, but with persistance, a lot of talking and chipping away at his protective wall, we finally made it.)
After several years of marriage, I somehow broke through that wall and warmed his heart. Came so close to divorce on more than one occasion.
He is now a wonderful husband and always was a great father. He is and has been so different for over eighteen years now. (The husband I always wanted.) Praise God!
Reading these posts made me realize just how lucky we were to find the “secret.” Communication is the only thing that saved our marriage. My heart really does go out to all of you and I hope that each and every one of you find the happiness that we have now. I know it was hard on you and your children, but try to imagine what it must have been like for them, to be raised in a cold, critical family as a child, in order for him to become this way. Someone needs to break through that protective wall. May God bless you but also them as well. (Must be a lonely existence to never experience true love.) Prayers to all of you that you find true happiness and lots of love in the future.
May God bless each and every one of you and please know that your children are so lucky to have such wonderful moms!

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

Suzi Jansen I have no idea why I just now received this message … but wanted to clarify … that it was not 24 bad years.
It was several good years and then a troubled year here and there and then several more good years… but we never really knew where we stood with one another and still played mind games until that 24th Year.
That year, things came to a head and we came very close to splitting. Sometimes I think we have to hit rock bottom … before we can build an even better marriage than before if the foundation is strong.
That is exactly what happened with us.
Our grown daughter even noticed a difference in our marriage after that and asked me if she had been the problem all along? (Since we used to fight quite often before she married and moved out).
I explained that if was never her fault …
but that maybe … I did tend to walk on egg shells to get along with her dad when she was home. Maybe I did not even know it.
(Once she was grown I knew she would not be affected if we were to split) so I had the courage to demand better treatment and to take a stand and announce that I was prepared to leave unless I received it.
Dr. Phil taught me a lot too and I realized he was correct and the we really do teach people how to treat us. If we do not stand up for ourselves and for what we believe in, then who will? We have to love and respect ourselves, before we can expect anyone else to. We need to realize and accept that.

Ana Dorothy Paglomutan Madelo
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Ana Dorothy Paglomutan Madelo

Very inspiring 🙂

Fiona Henderson
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Fiona Henderson

Wtf has God got to do with anything?

Dan Rich
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Dan Rich

thank you so much,this is inspiring,god bless you

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

Barbara Pugh I just wanted to say that I am so happy that through prayer, you were able to learn how to get through to your man.
Yes prayer and open communication can mean all the difference in the world. Silence might be Golden … if we know in our hearts where we stand with our spouse,
but if either has insecurities of any kind, then silence can be a terrible thing.
We need to be reminded of why we fell in love in the first place and what it was that made them so special to us and vise versa.

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

One more thing Lacey. You said that he is a good dad and is good at everything he does? Make sure he knows you feel that way. You need to tell him what you love most about him, because as I said they cannot read our minds.
I tell my man everyday now, how much I appreciate what he does for this family and how much he means to me. I did not used to do that, as I just figured that he knew it.

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

Lacey Williams, so glad to hear it … since you have children involved.
They need both parents and a stable home.
If you can write your feelings out and read and re-read and make sure it says what you really feel, then maybe you could read that to him without crying. It could be as simple as knowing that he heard you and that he got it. Maybe he could answer through actions instead of words. But he needs to feel heard too. Be sure to listen as well as to talk. Sometimes they are just insecure.
At least this is what worked for us. Once I felt heard and saw him trying to do the little things again that showed he cared …
then I tried harder too and it was almost like courting one another again.
This was almost 20 years ago and I am so thankful to God that I took the time to try and understand him. Tried to see our marriage through his eyes and tried to talk more … Before allowing hostility to fester and cause trouble.
Am amazed now, that sometimes he is the first one to want to talk if something is bothering him. Never thought I would see that day. Lol. Good luck and may God bless you and your family.

Lacey Williams
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Lacey Williams

Thank you Rita Krause Ross. Made me laugh and cry. And I believe your 💯 men are from Mars , Thank you again for sharing this post makes me want to try even harder show my feeling more and don’t let my “wall” also build up.

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

All I can tell you is that women are from Venus and men are from Mars and they are not good at communicating their feelings.

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

Lacey Williams none of us are mind readers. If he will not open up to you, then continue to try opening up to him. Just try explaining how you feel sometimes … without really expecting an answer, but give him a chance to show you he cares instead of talking about it. One time, I was feeling so disconnected and thought my man did not care, but then he did something so unexpected that he just melted my almost cold heart at the time.
There had been total silence for so long … But we were sitting on the patio listening to an old but goody …
“This old Heart of Mine” by Rod Stewart, when he suddenly reached down and lifted me up by the collar of my blouse and gave me a kiss and said “I love you” while that song was playing. I was in total shock.
(Made that one of my favorite songs from there on out.) Had never really paid that much attention to the words until that day … But it said what he could not and I realized just how much he cared. That one unexpected moment meant so much to me and helped me try even harder to figure him out.

Rita Krause Ross
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Rita Krause Ross

Aweee, thank you so much for saying so Barb. (I had come so close to deleting these messages from the past) but if even one person enjoys reading my life experiences and can relate to some of what we went through to get to where we are today … Then I will leave them here for anyone to read at their leisure.
Still extremely happy in our marriage now and it will soon be 44 years this June 24th of 2016. We have come a long way and it was so worth the roller coaster ride. Lol.