What If We Don’t Have to Let Go Completely?

What could change or heal in your life if you lightened up your grip?

Recently, I found myself in the middle of a kitchen remodel.

You can probably relate to the craziness that goes on when you have no kitchen for three weeks. While immersed in this domestic adventure, I had the chance to learn how to use a tile saw. Yep, me with power tools. Both scary and awesome at the same time!

I was cutting tiles for the kitchen floor and having a rough time about half way through because my hands started to really ache and the tiles were chipping on some of the cuts, which was fantastically frustrating.

About to give up, I tried one more tile, but this time I decided to see what would happen if I didn't hold on to it so hard when guiding it through the saw.

It was perfect.

Not only did my hands immediately stop hurting, the saw moved through the tile with ease as I guided it and made an absolutely flawless cut. I was so excited! I rocked it! It's the little things, right?

Only, this wasn't so little. I finished cutting the tile, and a voice popped into my head and said, “What would happen if you lightened up your grip in some other areas of your life?”

Whoa! It then occurred to me that holding on to some things too tightly had been a pattern in my life for a long time. Struggling to hold on to things that may not want me to keep holding on so tight. Gripping too tightly to things that weren't meant to be exactly the way I wanted them to be. Being too attached to things that just needed a little time and space to manifest into what I was looking to create. 

It got me thinking about the idea of letting go. About how letting go many times is actually the best way to hold on.

But, sometimes that's easier said than done in the moment, if we just don't feel ready, if we're grieving, or if we don't quite have all the answers we're longing for.

Maybe we don't always have to completely let go of what we're not quite ready to let go of yet.

Maybe, in some situations, we're not meant to let go completely  only just enough to allow enough space for things to fall together. Sometimes, we can first just try loosening our grip…and wait to see what happens.

This could be an amazing way to get unstuck.

To change the dynamic of a painful situation, or even to attract something you've been going after but unable to quite make happen. It can allow for the space to gain insight and see a situation more clearly. It could also be a powerful stepping-stone toward truly letting go if that's what's meant to be. 

What comes to mind for me in a big way is a past relationship. I did everything I could, in the most loving way I could muster at the time, to save it from coming to an end. But the more I held on and tightened my grip, the farther out the ship sailed and the more things fell apart. Holding on so tightly only made things worse, and didn't offer the chance or space for things to come around naturally. Looking back, the most powerful, healing, and loving way to fight for what I believed in would have been to loosen my grip. To let go a little. Just like with cutting the tile.

So, what could change or heal in your life if you lightened up your grip?

If you weren't so attached? If you created the space for a particular situation to naturally blossom or change and allowed things to happen in their own time? Or, if you empowered yourself to move forward with an open heart whether or not you're totally “over it” yet?

It just might be the beautiful, amazing middle ground you've been looking for.


Kristi Ling

Kristi Ling is a happiness strategist, transformational life and business coach, and author working to help others create joy and realize their dream life.

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Lovd it ❤️

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