As I was preparing dinner, I accidentally stood on our pet cat Millie's tail.
As she cried and ran off to find comfort away from my big feet, my daughter ran after her with me hot on her heels to try and sooth the pain by giving her some cuddles. Without any fear of being tramped upon again, Millie allowed herself to be lifted and loved, no hesitation or no judgement of ‘how could you do that to me!'… And my daughter immediately said ‘Ah Millie, you are ALWAYS so quick to forgive!' What an amazing observation!
Now, I know that it was an accident and I didn't mean to step on Millie's tail.
However, I kinda felt bad that it had happened. When I began to think about it, I started to look at it from two different perspectives…my own (causing the pain) and Millie's (receiving the pain). So let's have a look. As Millie was minding her own business, watching the world go by in our kitchen (she loves to follow you around observing everything that is going on!), she got stepped on! Using this as an example (a very basic one I know), let's look at ourselves in our own lives. We can be traveling along through time, seeing all that is going on in our environment and having an interest in lots of things. Then, suddenly, something can happen that can trigger off some discomfort or pain and we run away to try and find some solace and relief. We start to blame the external circumstances for inflicting this pain and we can feel angry, upset or confused, wondering what did we do to deserve this! However, unlike the cat, we can hold on to these feelings for longer than a few seconds, sometimes they can last days, weeks, months or even years, causing a lot of internal turmoil and pain! We bury ourselves in the drama of this event and shut ourselves off from ever finding a peaceful solution. When my daughter so innocently said “Ah Millie, you are ALWAYS so quick to forgive” I was looking at it through the eyes of a child and everything seemed so simple. The fact was, I didn't mean to inflict the pain, the cat wasn't aware if it was an accident or not, and my daughter just wanted to love!
And everything moved forward naturally, DRAMA WAS OVER! NEXT!
So, let's just be aware that, sometimes, people can say or do something that happens to trigger a reaction within ourselves and they are genuinely not aware that they are doing it, it is not intentional!
And we can spend hours torturing ourselves over it when IT MEANS NOTHING! The likelihood is that it has just reactivated some previous memory within ourselves! I love this quote by Shakespeare “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”, it is such a wise observation and so very true. It is our thought about the so called event that causes us to feel the pain, not the actual event. The same thing would not cause even a flicker of a reaction in somebody else… don't you think that's very interesting indeed!
So, like Millie the cat, let us move on from anything that is annoying us, forgiving (even if there is really nothing to forgive) and allowing ourselves to be free again! No matter what the circumstances, and I do understand that many people can be faced with very difficult circumstances, forgiveness really is a gift that you give to yourself. It allows you to return to a peaceful place within yourself, and this is the greatest feeling in the world!
You are here for a limited time only, so please don't spend it holding on to unforgiveness!
The high price that you have to pay is really not worth it, every cell in your body is aware of how you are feeling so LET GO…