There is a difference between supporting someone and trying to save them. The fact is, no one can be saved by anyone but themselves! You can only support and help those who are already putting in the work and helping themselves. Boundaries are absolutely necessary when dealing not only with other people but also when dealing with ourselves. We must know what we are and aren’t capable of. Our self-care must remain at the forefront of our attention.
Being mindful of our energy and the energy of others can help us to lead a happier, more productive life.
We must monitor what we allow into our lives.
Does it serve us or harm us? Are we acting in our own best interest? Even if we have circumstances in our lives which are trying and difficult, we still have a choice as to what we emotionally engage with. Are you going to anchor yourself to fear or love? Are you going to focus on what you can, or can’t do? Where will you invest your time, attention, and energy?
Cultivating a strong inner peace to carry with us into every circumstance and every moment of life is a necessary, vital component of self-care. Volatile people are not in control of themselves or their faculties. They are like a time-bomb, ready to go off at a moment’s notice. Inner peace provides stability and consistent, productive function. It allows for greater control particularly in times of great duress. Sacrificing and martyring yourself for the sake of another is not an act of love. It is an act of self-sabotage. Moreso, it solves nothing, and it does not solve the root of the problem.
A person bent on destroying themselves will continue to destroy themselves no matter how many times we save them. Trying to save them will only pull us down with them into their turbulent nightmare. Sometimes, we must issue tough love, where we have to enact boundaries, and sometimes, that means we have to walk away. Sometimes, we have to love people from a distance.
Instead of being a crutch to other people, show them how to help themselves, empower them, show them hope, faith, and their own potential.
Lead by example. Recognize that everyone has and always will have their own suffering. You cannot save anyone from all suffering. They will suffer, just like you and everyone else will suffer. This is part of life and living.
We dictate how people are allowed to treat us by our own behavior, by our reactions and non-reactions. We must respect ourselves first before we can demand respect from others. We must uphold our own respect. We must not sacrifice our own respect for others, because doing so is an act against ourselves. What are we sacrificing ourselves for? For disrespect? Why?! Make clear how you wish to be treated, and enact boundaries for all those who either won’t or can’t respect your terms. Boundaries may be as simple as detaching yourself emotionally from a person or a situation. Remember, boundaries are not always physical.
The people you surround yourself will inevitably have a profound influence on you and your well-being.
Choose carefully. Surrounding yourself with good, stable, motivated, like-minded, drama free people is imperative. It is better to have a few right friends, than scores of wrong ones! Getting out from the weight of bad relationships is so incredibly liberating. Now you can free up your time for what really matters, for what matters most!
Acceptance of any situation and circumstance will liberate you from your fear, stress, anxiety, and worry. Learn to let situations and people go. It is ok if people don’t like you, don’t like what you do, or how you do it. Remember, you are living this life for YOU. This is your life first. You can’t fight every battle and you won’t win every battle you fight.
Make sure your house is in order before you try to put the lives of others in order.
Don’t spend so much time, attention, and energy helping others that you and your life fall into neglect. There is nothing wrong with engaging in self-care!
Before we try to save anyone else, we need to first save and serve ourselves! You cannot serve anyone if you do not look after yourself! It is time to take responsibility for your life. You are in charge of you. No one else. Don’t let life, other people, or your circumstances pull you to and fro. You can be you, no matter the situation and the circumstance. You can be your own constant amongst the chaos. Learn to work with yourself, work to trust yourself, and learn to be self-sufficient.
Be selective in where you put your time, attention, and energy.
Choose things that will serve to empower you further. The more you empower yourself, the greater your power in life to act from. If you want to effect change, do it in your own life first. Build something, do something, be something, first. The more you invest in yourself, the more you will have to give from.
Life is so short, we only have this short life to live, and it is our responsibility to make it the best we can. We deserve peace of mind, we deserve a better quality of life. Take the time to reflect on the choices you are making in your life. Take action to advocate for your well-being and self-care. Seize the day and make this life the best it can be!