The Cost of Emotional Dependency

How A Revolutionary New Protocol & Virtual Reality Are Freeing Us of Our Self-Destructive Behaviors

Imagine a world where you can enjoy everybody because everyone in your world is there by choice, not need.

Imagine being able to use all of your mental power to invent, conquer, achieve, and love instead of wasting your brain's resources on seeking love and validation from others. Imagine the freedom that comes from feeling equal to everyone, choosing instead of being chosen, or loving unconditionally instead of trying to secure love and appreciation from someone else. Imagine the power of being beautiful, skilled, and rich because you are, instead of trying to acquire those as a means to secure emotional rewards. Imagine being able to love without fear, and simply enjoying it. Imagine a life without all the pain, fears, and addictions resulting from emotional dependency.

Throughout my life, I have loved and studied the beauty that the mind holds.

One of the main focuses of my research has been the daunting condition of emotional dependency. I realized from an early age that dependency upon others for emotional support was not natural in adulthood, and there was another way to live. I knew there had to be a way to release this unhealthy need for others and transform painful emotional dependency into highly rewarding interdependency. I embraced the challenge and it became my life's mission.

To address emotional dependency I needed to understand the cause of it; therefore, I worked to gain knowledge about the purpose of our mind, body, and our lives. I realized that everything in the mind and body is equipment that operates to maximize our efficiency.

Our skin, our bones, our thinking, our emotions all strive to achieve our life's goals of promoting safe and efficient behaviors.

This concept evidenced that emotional dependency had a natural value in the course of our lives. By observing the early development of mammals, as well as tribal initiations into adulthood, I was able to identify its purpose. Emotional dependency is built into us from birth to ensure the need for love, safety, validation and guidance toward our parents and educators. This bond with our parents protects our vulnerable lives in childhood and stimulates our early learning. We are meant to transition to emotional and physical independence as we progress through puberty; and these skills are refined during the teenager years.

Self-leadership and self-reliance are learned behaviors that we acquire from our parents.

Unfortunately, most parents today do not have the models needed to guide their children toward emotional independence during the impressionable childhood years. When the time comes to release their parental duty, instead of empowering us with self-reliance, they have left us with the only pathway open to us: to transfer our emotional needs from our parents to the people around us. This is why emotional dependence still exists in adulthood for most of us. We see the result in low self-esteem, self judgement, the choices we make in our relationships, the failure to create or sustain healthy relationships, depression, fear of rejection, addiction, financial struggles and so many other dysfunctional or self-limiting behaviors. We act out of our need for approval from others.

As soon I identified the origin of this condition, I focused my energy and resources towards finding a solution. The challenge was to identify a methodology that provides the mind with the same self-reliant models that we were supposed to receive from our parents. Through 10 years of research and clinical testing with more than 2, 000 clients, I established a protocol offered in a state of deep meditation that guides the mind to self-reliance and the removal of the obsolete behaviors built to cope with emotional dependency.

The Bosurgi Method™ is based on the theory that the mind always strives for perfection, implementing and choosing behaviors that grant the best possible responses to one's daily events. Optimal responses are selected by the mind in order to maximize safety and efficiency — whatever the occurrence.

Of course, the tools available and the perception of the event's influence or limit our behavioral choice. Meaning that if we are driven by emotional needs, we will implement entirely different life choices from the ones we would do if we were self-reliant. Imagine the different set of behaviors that we would use if we try to be beautiful, smart, rich, cool or confident — in order to gain love and approval, or if instead, we just are, without worrying about judgment or rejection.

However self-reliant models, if already in place, are more efficient and safer; therefore the mind will prioritize them over less-functional emotionally dependent sets of behavior. The Bosurgi Method™ helps the mind to identify those powerful self-reliant models; the same ones we should have received from our parents.

As soon as this new clarity is implemented, the mind is free to archive the now-obsolete behaviors.

This is the process that searches out obsolete behavioral responses, actions, thoughts, feelings or experiences that trigger the old emotionally-dependent models. As soon as these are retrieved, the mind makes the required behavioral updates, so that in future events, these responses are in tune with the new self-reliant model that you have now set as the priority. This process is subliminal and effortless, not requiring someone to consciously process or remember events to create change or free oneself. The mind is like a computer, if doesn't need to recreate images and sounds; it can simply browse through millions of events in a fraction of a second, and do the upgrade!

While, it may seem very complex, in reality the Bosurgi Method™ only helps the mind to accelerate the same evolutionary process that we normally use to learn and improve.

My next challenge was to bring this method out of my practice and to the world.

Two years ago, the advancement in Virtual Reality technology allowed me to convert my method into a home therapy that can be used anywhere, anytime. Virtual Reality is mainly used for interactive entertainment, but it has much more value than games and fantasy experiences. It engages our two main senses in a fully-immersive setting that replicates the way we learn naturally — through experience. It also offers captivating visuals able to calm the mind and keep it focused on the experience. The process enhances this learning environment by guiding the mind into the Theta state, the same state used by Buddhist Monks for mind and spiritual development work. In this emotional state, our highly intelligent mind is less distracted, therefore more open, to analyze and acquire alternative models and acceptable guidance for self-reliance.

It is so natural and simple.

No years of therapy, anti-depressant drugs, or multiple seminars. It unleashes your natural powers, creating the freedom for you to experience emotional independence.


Luca Bosurgi

Luca Bosurgi DHyp, MBSCH is an Anxiety Specialist, Mind Trainer, Creator of CognitiveOS Hypnosis® and Host of The Anxiety Clinic in Santa Monica, LA, Laguna Hills, OC and WorldWide.

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prabhakar rajarapuLinda SmithJoan Dorothy VendlingerRubina fazal Recent comment authors
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prabhakar rajarapu
prabhakar rajarapu


Joan Dorothy Vendlinger
Joan Dorothy Vendlinger

I find this so, SO true And it is very enlightening that someone has actually studied this can explain it for the layman and help create a learning process so the brain and people can actually heal and go on and lead more healthy, productive lives. I am glad I read this and will apply it for my own benefit and those I love.

Robina fazal
Robina fazal

Thanks!Sir Luca Bosurgi💖💐for a nice article..Emotional dependency means killing your Soul…We feel emotional for our parents..our positive relations.. but the key note is to be a Stable person…Love ,care ,respect all…Give them proper time…but not let your own self down.. worthless.. don’t use your packages full of sharp…active..loving energy on others.. rather than use to with to do far important tasks ..passions,ambitions..,desires you wanna acheive . To use your time and energy on people who can give you no reward except they Suck your time and energies to remain happy and contented as you live,care them a got so emotional attach.. that you try to give them a lot time to deal their works..and to bring them ease..that they use to take advantages of your time..and capabilities to have ease and you are emotionally trapped…and be a Clown…roam about..all time.They use you.. You Should take care of yourself too..your passions..your desires.. your should love yourself..respect stable..don’t be extra emotional for others..Emotional attachments deeper..can Spoil your own Soul.. you can go on life with ease and true happiness.. you have to be among those people.. care….respect.. you.. and need you..and can truly purely give you better I must say best opportunities to become more happy.. Successful.. healthy person or yourself and can do a lot more good to be a person you want to lead a more..positive.. constructive .productive and useful life for yourself and for all…love…care..respect but not be emotional trapped.. love your Soul.. mind and body ..and put your best efforts to lead a happy healthy. Prosperous life among those who love you.💖👑God bless..

Linda Smith
Linda Smith

Love your response!!

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