The Art Of Listening And Paying Attention To The Needs Of Others

Did you hear what was said?

Did you hear what was said?

How many times have you listened to someone talking yet never heard what they were saying? It’s up there with driving somewhere and not recognizing just how you got there. You were just probably busy like most of the population nowadays, doing or thinking about so many other things, also known as multitasking, but the outcome is the same in both scenarios, and that is you were not paying attention.

Make time to listen

“Do you have a minute?”

No one says these words to waste time; rather they need your attention to talk about or ask about something that is important to them. There is nothing wrong with saying “not right now,” or asking “perhaps later”? Validating someone and giving them your undivided attention is important to a relationship of any kind.

Sometimes you need to read between the lines

When someone is standing in front of you, their eyes will reveal if what they need to talk to you about is important or not. Women more than men I believe speak volumes with their eyes, just watch people’s eyes when they talk, more revealing than that first word spoken most times. Eyes give you the answer as to what your reply might be also.

Rolling eyes

This is a way of saying “Here we go again, same old same old.” Obviously, they have a need to repeat whatever it is again and try to get you involved in the drama of it all once again so hang on.

Squinting eyes

Tells you they are puzzled by something; they need some guidance or perhaps a plan of action that you can help with.

Red eyes

They have been crying about something important to them. No matter what it is, that brings someone to such an emotional point they do need to be heard usually that’s all.

Big bulging eyes

You know they are mad about something, that’s a given. None of us deserves to be on the other end of someone anger yet most times we can defuse a situation with a voice of reason. 

Vague, distant look in the eyes

This person is saying they need your attention, and that would be sooner than later. Someone in distress is worthy of our time; perhaps we can help refer them to someone because most times they cannot decide what their needs are in the mental or emotional state, they are in and unless you are a doctor or a trained professional you cannot help.

When someone calls you on the phone, sends you an email or text, it is hard to sense emotion as you are detached in a way, and we at times fail to see the urgency unless they tell us up front the nature of the urgency. Here is the thing though, no one gets in touch for no reason at all, and whatever the situation they deserve acknowledgment, we all do. Never just ignore someone because the bottom line is, we can all find time for what is important, you know that to be true.

Don’t be a mind reader

Give people your undivided attention. When they catch you at a busy time, simply tell them so, never just dismiss someone. Most people will understand If you cannot speak to them at that time. Assure them you will find the time for them as soon as you can, and always make sure you follow through because failing to do so often causes that tension in relationships. Time is a gift that we do not ever get back, and no one should waste it. You be the judge of how important their issue is to you. None of us are ever going to solve the problems of the world. We can all be there for someone by simply lending an ear, or to help by perhaps giving some free advice, maybe even offering that shoulder to cry on, because just maybe, we will be in their shoes one day, and Karma can be such a splendid thing.


Maria Koszler

I am a Thought Leader, Writer, Poet, Photographer. Creator of A Message From My Heart, Every Season Has a Reason and Thoughts Words and More. I use my creative talents in a unique way to Inspire others with my various writings and photography taken on walks around Lake Ontario and the Niagara Escarpment, a UNESCO Biosphere Reserve where I am blessed to live. Grateful beyond words for a life of purpose.

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