We aren't always dealt the best hand in life, and some things are out of our control, but not everything, and there are easy ways to turn around some of your common recurring problems and challenges. We have all heard terms like “you reap what you sow” and “the law of attraction,” both of which suggest having personal responsibility can help us. You may not even realize it, but who you are, how you act and present yourself to others, and your deep inner-truths are either calling fortune or misfortune into your life right now. You cannot hide from yourself. Your unresolved issues will continue to call-in experiences to teach you what you need to learn. If your life is a persistently a disaster, it is absolutely because you are a disaster. There is no way around it. Your problems are not because bad things happened to you; bad things happen to everyone. Your persistent problems are because of your response to common misfortune. If you want your life to be different you have to start reacting to life differently. The question you must ask yourself is, what is it about you that causes you to choose situations and people who expose you to risk, sadness and hurt? Why do you do it to yourself? You choose these things because that's who you are. Like attracts like. Dysfunction relates to dysfunction. You know, “birds of a feather” — you've heard it all before. But really, it is about your deepest core identity, your self-esteem, your soul-signature, and your level of spiritual and intellectual development. If you want more, then be more. If you want better, then be better.
In simple external terms, this is how it works. When you carry a frown you will see more frowns; when you carry a smile you will see more smiles. When you are hardworking and educated you attract hardworking, educated friends and you repel ignorant deadbeats. When you love yourself you attract those who love themselves, and you repel co-dependence because of your healthy boundaries. When you are a wholesome person, more wholesome people will appear in your life. Who you are is shaping your so-called reality. When you change — the world changes with you. This is what “be the change” means. This is what the “law of attraction” is all about. This is the basis of personal responsibility. You will always receive what you are equal to and what your perceptions, judgments and positions insist.
“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”
— Swami Vivekananda
The real ladder of opportunity is ascending levels of consciousness. As your consciousness, refinement and pureness of heart expand you will become less judgmental, less corrective, less reactive, less black-and-white, less critical, less apt to blame and less tormented by others and their faults and views. As the aperture of your heart opens to love you will receive more of the light of compassion, acceptance, gentleness, grace and understanding. The more evolved you are the less you will agree or disagree with others, and the more you will gently sift through the fullness of what people are offering and gratefully take only what you need. The more spiritually aware you become, the more you will focus on your own development and less on the imperfections of others. As an evolved being, you will begin to see pettiness, quarreling and correcting others as non-constructive and crude. As you evolve, you will learn that the only person you need to correct is yourself. We teach best by how we live life; who we are instructs with absolute clarity.
“As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health — food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is ‘LOVE OF ONESELF.'”
— Charlie Chaplin
“Pause and remember– You will have a lot more time and energy to spend on yourself when you stop worrying and wasting time on how others need to change.”
— Jenni Young McGill