Sometimes You Just Have To Say, “It is what it is.”

Peace of mind and soul can be yours.

“Take things as they come.”  “Be present.”  “Live the moment.”

All great drops of advice and all important to having peace in your heart.  So why is it that we have such a difficult time doing them?  Many of us analyze, over analyze, think, and over think why certain events and relationships happen in our lives.  We are stuck on not only the fact that they happened, but on the why.

After all, everything happens for a reason.

But is it so important to know that reason?  Can’t we just accept that it happened and look for what it has shown us, taught us, and how it has helped us grow?

If there was ever a statement that strongly resonated with me it would be Caroline Myss’ words. I spent years trying to find the reason why something happened, why I made the choice I did, why things had worked out as they had.  It was so painful and I suffered greatly.  Living in the past or holding on to a fantasy is such a waste of energy. And it causes great hardship. Trying to decipher all the meanings in our personal universe is exhausting and we may not find all the answers we seek, or want for that matter. The search could be enlightening, but most often we feel anguish, sadness, and heartbreak when we remain in that search for the reasons why.

We all make mistakes.

We all experience some emotional trauma. We all suffer.  But we have the power, the choice, to free ourselves from that pain.  I have often joked with friends about how it is time to get off misery road, that it is within our power to change the trajectory of our lives. We must choose to be vigilant and redirect our thoughts away from the questions of why something happened, why a relationship soured, why a person is the way they are, why a job didn’t work out,  why we had to lose a loved one… why our life is the way it is.  The best thing we can do for ourselves is give up the need to know why things happen as they do and just accept that they did, that they are as they are now.  Look for the lesson rather than the reason.

I dislike the expression, “It is what it is,” but it is the truth, and I find myself thinking or saying those words a lot lately.

So turn off of misery road and turn on to the road of joy, of happiness, of contentment, and of peace.  Turn off your wondering mind. Cease the inquiry. Give up the need to know the why and concentrate on what is – focus on the present moment, and then focus on each subsequent moment as you experience life.  “Take things as they come.” “Be present.” “Live the moment.”  Accept this very moment and all that it holds for you.

Peace of mind and soul can be yours.  It is your choice.

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Jill Alman Bernstein

Inspirational Writer, Deep Sea Soul Diver, Freelance Editor, Heart Centered Writers Coach, Mother, and Mermaid.

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  1. Thank you for this well written article. I do agree that we have the power to change our trajectory of our lives. Although i know that, I forget from time to time. Thank you for the Simple Reminder.

  2. A lifetime of many lessons …. This is the answer to “Why”, & to “How” And so much more .. Take things in stride, and live peacefully .. Live Now & Be present … Time goes by faster and faster as we age ..and all of a sudden the kids are grown, and now your a Grandparent .. Soon time will run out ⌛

  3. Thankyou thank you thankyou. I have been analyzing and over analyzing a lifetime. It really hasn’t got me anywhere as far as answers. No more self help books for this girl!!

  4. We torture ourselves. We truly are our own worst tormentors. Everything comes down to a conscious choice: Does this serve me or harm me? Find acceptance, let things go, go with not against. Leave the past, stop worrying about the future. Stop trying to find all the answers, stop trying to answer every why. Stop trying to rationalize everything. Focus on what you do have control over, not on what you don’t. Focus on intent, not outcome. Remember, no one is impervious to mistakes. Acceptance liberates us to step into our power. Stay with the choice in the moment. The choice you have right now.

  5. It is what it is. Overthinking the past is futile indeed. I just take the lessons and move forward with the experience. Most things in life seem to reoccur so it is good to be aware when we confront similar issues in the future. Thanks

  6. Looove this article SO much beautiful Jill. Especially love what you said about US ultimately having the power to change the trajectory of our lives. Just brilliant and so divinely true. Love you so much soul sister. <3 <3 <3

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