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Simple Common Sense Ways to Happiness and Self-Love

The bottom line is that we make better decisions when we are happier.

Many people fear accepting those things about themselves which they dislike, are unhappy about, or wish to change.

They fear that accepting such things will mean that they will fall into complacency. That fighting those things is what is needed for everything to not completely spiral out of control. We could be talking about a multitude of things here: Our weight, our lack of motivation or self-discipline, our lack of patience, our impulse control, etcetera.

The truth is, when we are not in self-acceptance we are often guilt-driven.

We guilt ourselves over our decisions, we reprimand ourselves, we berate and degrade ourselves. We obliterate our self-esteem. We disempower ourselves. We begin to feel less and less in control over our decisions and actions. We begin operating in fear. What will our next screw up be? How bad will it be this time? Why is this always happening? Now, we are spiraling out of control! The very thing we thought would save us, is now destroying us.

The sad reality is that without awareness, most people will continue on this path.

They will continue to try enforce greater control over themselves. They will continue to lay blame on themselves. They will continue to disempower themselves. They will feel more and more frustrated and depressed. This will bleed into all areas of their lives, affecting their relationships with others, and their quality of life.


How do we stop the madness? How do we take our power back?

The answer may seem counter-intuitive: We learn to let go. If we can just learn to accept ourselves as we are, without judgment, we can liberate ourselves from this damaging cycle. By letting go we can shift our focus from self-loathing to self-love. We can give effort, time, energy, and attention to loving ourselves. We can love ourselves as the flawed human beings we are. We can love ourselves as a work in progress. We can focus on what we can do, rather than on what we can’t. We can empower ourselves.

When we speak lovingly to ourselves, and about ourselves, we become our own advocate, our own cheerleader, and encourager. We begin to feel better about ourselves. Our self-esteem builds. We feel a greater strength. It becomes easier to make better decisions for ourselves. Not because we are forcing those decisions, but because we are desiring them.

Acting out of love is always more powerful than acting out of fear.

Fear breeds negativity, which in turn breeds more fear. Love on the other hand, heals and empowers us. Love gives us the courage and desire to make better decisions.

Focusing on what we are doing right builds us up. We become more cognizant of what we are capable of. We become more excited about doing whatever serves us. We begin to step into our power and by doing so, we step further into our potential.

Being mindful of the present moment is so important.

We cannot seek to control everything, and we have absolutely no control over any other moment than right now. We can only ever make decisions in the moment. If we face life moment by moment, loving ourselves, encouraging ourselves, engaging in self-love, these efforts will add up quickly. We can have a huge impact in our lives by focusing on the here and now. Really everything comes down to cumulative decisions. 


We can counter our weight by making many “better” decisions on what we choose to eat and do moment to moment. We can ask ourselves: What can we do now? We can become more motivated and self-disciplined by focusing on and doing whatever we are able to in this very moment. We can exercise our patience by holding off our reaction right now, even just for a few minutes and build on that. We can work on our impulse control by focusing on what we can do, and not on what we can’t.

It’s important to celebrate every good decision as a win.

Doing so will not only leave us feeling better about ourselves, but it will continue to empower us. We will be reminded and more cognizant of all we can do. That will lend us a lot of courage in whatever decisions we need to make next.

Little by little we will sort things out for ourselves.We will find a new peace and a new order in our lives. As we learn to accept ourselves, we will also find it easier to accept others, and the circumstances around us. We will have more attention and energy with which to enjoy our lives.

The bottom line is that we make better decisions when we are happier.

We are happier when we take the time to love ourselves and to engage in self-care. Self-acceptance is a key component in finding happiness. We must accept ourselves as we are, in order to become the best version of ourselves.

It all starts by loving yourself.

Stop fighting with yourself! Stop guilting and shaming yourself! Stop operating from fear! Let go. You are acceptable and loveable as you are. There is no mold you must fit. There are no expectations you must meet. Just be yourself. Be authentically you. Liberate yourself to just be. Take all the time you spent in negativity towards yourself and start spending it loving yourself instead. Watch what happens. You’ll be amazed!

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Akiroq Brost

Akiroq is a Human Potential Inspirational writer, who has a passion for helping others explore and harness the extraordinary potential that lies within each and every one of us.

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prabhakar rajarapu
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prabhakar rajarapu

AMEN

Jackie Wilushewski
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Beautiful article. I really connected to the parts of being mindful in the moment and loving yourself. My Life has become so full and much more enjoyable this way 🙂 Thank you <3

michelle
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michelle

wow this is so very true this was where i use to be several times infacted where i blamed me i looked at my faults that prolonged my suffering until one day i got up something had give i wasn’t feeding what my heart needed from myself i positioned myself point fingers blaming instead of doing what i needed to overcome its exactly how i read above it sometimes i have an off day still but to read and see it helps better understand the cycle which in turn helps to discourage myself from prolonging unnecessary low self esteem thank you both so much for sharing this article helps more than you know 🙂

Catherine B. Roy
Member

Love it! Just like Buddha said: “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. “

Kara
Member

I can relate with so much especially needing to continually use positive self talk.
I have unlearned so much negative I learned it’s very important how I view me and know each day I do something and I remember how far I’ve come the fact I’m even here and sharing and being apart of an uplifting community is a blessing.
As an exemple I’ve worked through painful anxiety I couldn’t talk or even raise my hand in the class to ask for help from a teacher or instructor now I’m just the opposite I’m eager and not worried about things that used to hold me back.
I was worried about things that now I know actually how those were false fears that kept me from living a better life.
I can talk to People I find I love to learn and how we as people learn from each other.
There was a wonderful lady I would chat with at work awhile bank she was very insightful and a retiree who had amazing knowledge we would talk about Geneology.
We Connectied immediately because we both had family we wanted to know more about family we hadn’t met yet even but felt a deep wanting to connect and find them our stories were different but so similar.
I learned it’s ok to take chances and I’m important I truly as an Adult Adoptee grown up had to let go of feeling so unwanted and unimportant.
I know I’m not less worthy and the fears of feeling so different well I’m thankful to learn many of us have felt similar.
I have a story in me that can help others heal. I look forward to sharing because I heal by sharing and others heal too.
I have learned to be mindful of so many things it’s very,Very important to learning Self Love and acceptiance.
I know God Has a purpose for me I know so I do my part.

Jo Davis
Member

#micdrop 🎤

Bernadette Carter
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Bernadette Carter

Love it

Robert Walls
Member

yesssss I love it GREAT ARTICLE 💜💚💚💜👑

LynnDailey
Member

This is a great article. I love the simple common sense ways that you have listed to happiness and self-love.

Suzan Muhialdeen
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Suzan Muhialdeen

Very good and useful articl.
Changing bad habits like negative- self talk needs practice and time ,if the person just think what I gain from my negative thoughts except pain, and self pity , then he will realize that this thoughts are useless ,and start trying to change this bad perception about himself to positive- self talk and he or she will be happy instead of feeling pain ,for example if someone wants to lose wheight he needs to focus on the value to live healthy life instead of focusing to lose wheight and in this case he or she will live healthy happy life and can lose wheight faster , so everyone needs to control his thoughts because we are the controllers of our minds and this practice leads to self- love ,acceptance and self esteem ,but just a reminder that balance is important ,because some people turns to be narssitics which is opposite to low self -esteem that we are talking about it .