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Simple Common Sense Ways to Happiness and Self-Love

The bottom line is that we make better decisions when we are happier.

Many people fear accepting those things about themselves which they dislike, are unhappy about, or wish to change.

They fear that accepting such things will mean that they will fall into complacency. That fighting those things is what is needed for everything to not completely spiral out of control. We could be talking about a multitude of things here: Our weight, our lack of motivation or self-discipline, our lack of patience, our impulse control, etcetera.

The truth is, when we are not in self-acceptance we are often guilt-driven.

We guilt ourselves over our decisions, we reprimand ourselves, we berate and degrade ourselves. We obliterate our self-esteem. We disempower ourselves. We begin to feel less and less in control over our decisions and actions. We begin operating in fear. What will our next screw up be? How bad will it be this time? Why is this always happening? Now, we are spiraling out of control! The very thing we thought would save us, is now destroying us.

The sad reality is that without awareness, most people will continue on this path.

They will continue to try enforce greater control over themselves. They will continue to lay blame on themselves. They will continue to disempower themselves. They will feel more and more frustrated and depressed. This will bleed into all areas of their lives, affecting their relationships with others, and their quality of life.


How do we stop the madness? How do we take our power back?

The answer may seem counter-intuitive: We learn to let go. If we can just learn to accept ourselves as we are, without judgment, we can liberate ourselves from this damaging cycle. By letting go we can shift our focus from self-loathing to self-love. We can give effort, time, energy, and attention to loving ourselves. We can love ourselves as the flawed human beings we are. We can love ourselves as a work in progress. We can focus on what we can do, rather than on what we can’t. We can empower ourselves.

When we speak lovingly to ourselves, and about ourselves, we become our own advocate, our own cheerleader, and encourager. We begin to feel better about ourselves. Our self-esteem builds. We feel a greater strength. It becomes easier to make better decisions for ourselves. Not because we are forcing those decisions, but because we are desiring them.

Acting out of love is always more powerful than acting out of fear.

Fear breeds negativity, which in turn breeds more fear. Love on the other hand, heals and empowers us. Love gives us the courage and desire to make better decisions.

Focusing on what we are doing right builds us up. We become more cognizant of what we are capable of. We become more excited about doing whatever serves us. We begin to step into our power and by doing so, we step further into our potential.

Being mindful of the present moment is so important.

We cannot seek to control everything, and we have absolutely no control over any other moment than right now. We can only ever make decisions in the moment. If we face life moment by moment, loving ourselves, encouraging ourselves, engaging in self-love, these efforts will add up quickly. We can have a huge impact in our lives by focusing on the here and now. Really everything comes down to cumulative decisions. 


We can counter our weight by making many “better” decisions on what we choose to eat and do moment to moment. We can ask ourselves: What can we do now? We can become more motivated and self-disciplined by focusing on and doing whatever we are able to in this very moment. We can exercise our patience by holding off our reaction right now, even just for a few minutes and build on that. We can work on our impulse control by focusing on what we can do, and not on what we can’t.

It’s important to celebrate every good decision as a win.

Doing so will not only leave us feeling better about ourselves, but it will continue to empower us. We will be reminded and more cognizant of all we can do. That will lend us a lot of courage in whatever decisions we need to make next.

Little by little we will sort things out for ourselves.We will find a new peace and a new order in our lives. As we learn to accept ourselves, we will also find it easier to accept others, and the circumstances around us. We will have more attention and energy with which to enjoy our lives.

The bottom line is that we make better decisions when we are happier.

We are happier when we take the time to love ourselves and to engage in self-care. Self-acceptance is a key component in finding happiness. We must accept ourselves as we are, in order to become the best version of ourselves.

It all starts by loving yourself.

Stop fighting with yourself! Stop guilting and shaming yourself! Stop operating from fear! Let go. You are acceptable and loveable as you are. There is no mold you must fit. There are no expectations you must meet. Just be yourself. Be authentically you. Liberate yourself to just be. Take all the time you spent in negativity towards yourself and start spending it loving yourself instead. Watch what happens. You’ll be amazed!

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Akiroq Brost

Akiroq is a Human Potential Inspirational writer, who has a passion for helping others explore and harness the extraordinary potential that lies within each and every one of us.

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Margo
Member

We have to look after ourselves in order to cope with daily life. If we don’t care, who will. It makes you feel better, gives you more confidence and uplifts your mood. No one is perfect or always 100% committed, but if you do it for yourself, it will be easier to become self-aware regards what your body needs. If you lapse, just get back into it and don’t overthink it all. Everything in moderation, exercise, eat well/healthy, sleep, rest, interests, and take care of your overall appearance. It’s a cycle, the more you get into it, the more you get out if it. If you feel better within yourself, others will notice and pay you more compliments, increasing your sense of success. Seek help for any issues, and keep doing the best you can. Try to socialise, value your family and count your blessings. Consider the less fortunate and give help to them, where possible. Take care of you because you depend on you! And if you feel good, it’s self-assuring and others will be attracted to you and inspired by you. Take care if you are I’ll, worried, stressed, anxious, etc. It’s how we handle it that counts. What’s to be will be. Be more Philisophical, avoid unecessary drama, keep doing what’s right and good, and that way, you have a clear conscience. Treat yourself, pamper yourself you deserve it as much or more than anyone. Say your prayers, talk to the angels, mind your own business, be friendly but don’t tell everyone everything. So many things! But try your best and be happy in your own skin. Just look around you. Would you not rather be you than someone else?! Don’t compare yourself to others. We are all unique and individual. It’s common sense, just be you. Work on areas of self-improvement and live and let live.

Sue Smith
Member

Wonderful!
👑💖

Wong Lok
Admin

Found the golden egg by dear dear akiroq <3 "Not because we are forcing those decisions, but because we are desiring them." - Akiroq 😀 This could be a major helper for people to let go of behaviours or habits that they want to change. "love something else greater than the habit." - Bryant 🙂 add the concepts together and it becomes like: "love something else greater than the habit, how about your dream self that you want to be?" woop woop have a super nice day~ muchlove, from hk, loklok

Sue Smith
Member

Love how you blended those two thoughts in your comment Lok! 👑💖

Jo Davis
Member

Yes! I couldn’t have said it better Lok!

Wong Lok
Admin

thx jo <3

Jo Davis
Member

#micdrop 🎤

Bernadette Carter
Guest
Bernadette Carter

Love it

Robert Walls
Member

yesssss I love it GREAT ARTICLE 💜💚💚💜👑

LynnDailey
Member

This is a great article. I love the simple common sense ways that you have listed to happiness and self-love.

Suzan Muhialdeen
Guest
Suzan Muhialdeen

Very good and useful articl.
Changing bad habits like negative- self talk needs practice and time ,if the person just think what I gain from my negative thoughts except pain, and self pity , then he will realize that this thoughts are useless ,and start trying to change this bad perception about himself to positive- self talk and he or she will be happy instead of feeling pain ,for example if someone wants to lose wheight he needs to focus on the value to live healthy life instead of focusing to lose wheight and in this case he or she will live healthy happy life and can lose wheight faster , so everyone needs to control his thoughts because we are the controllers of our minds and this practice leads to self- love ,acceptance and self esteem ,but just a reminder that balance is important ,because some people turns to be narssitics which is opposite to low self -esteem that we are talking about it .

Indie Childs
Member

I really enjoyed this article. Self love can be so difficult sometimes. The author is right, we can only control the here and now. The past is past. Forgiving yourself is really important if you intend to live in the present. Otherwise your head gets stuck in the past. The past is history. The future is a dream. The present is the only true reality.

ChristineMoharter
Member

I had therapy this morning, he said to me “ your growth-self acceptance, language, body language all r beginning to shine thru”! For me I had a life time of ridicule, belittling, degrading negativity And Narcissistic Abusive Mother! I have been in therapy since I was 12, I have learned A lot thru the years! 1-Never give power to the negative 👎🏼! Meditating and breathing sessions have helped me accept my reality on this matter. 2-I journal everyday. Be💯 W yourself on that paper! Let it Out. The release u feel afterwards is so calming. 3- make sure U come 1st! I was a caretaker for everyone but myself! That no longer is a part of my being! I love me first then I can project that Love onto others! Ty for sharing this w me! U don’t know how much this has become a part of my daily routine! Peace ☮️ Love ❤️ Happiness 😊

Barbara Glass
Guest
Barbara Glass

Thank you, very insightful. This article could help many as well myself as it stands as a important reminder to love and forgive oneself which is often forgotten yet comes back repeatedly until one can come to terms with past regrets, wether it seems insignificant to self while confronting new moments of new daily experiences. Very difficult to forgive others when you carry self guilts from your past that returns to trouble the mind and reflects and effects each new moment. Make inner peace to find a happier self that reflects a energy to others and the world within yourself.
Truth is it takes patience time to see or comprehend so in the meantime, one needs to realize it’s ok to let it go, not to dwell constantly, accept you let, time and Gods loving energy guide and you will conquer negativity that battles within, be relieved and understand others, that at times you judge in a moment unintentionally without knowledge why you have. Peace along the path as the journey is what it is, a journey to enrich all seen or unseen

Emily Gayle
Guest
Emily Gayle

You of to do things in life that please your self, and look after your self I strongly believe in doing things that will makes me happy,and I also believe strongly in father God he will lead me in the way he want me to go.

Tammy
Guest
Tammy

Thank you for your article, I have been going through this past couple weeks. I thought I had it beat but it came back. So starting over.

Robina fazal
Member

Nice..inspiring article.. ❤💐Thanks..dear..Akiroq Brost.. for Sharing your wisdom and beautiful thoughts…Life is what we make out of it…As much we are contented and happy with ourselves..we can contribute in positive and better ways for others with love,care and compassion..We Should respect our own selves..love and care our own selves..make the most of our time…in such routines..that can make our Souls…fresh and active…eat well.. eat good diets.. do regular exercises…read ..write ,learn…..wht ever our regular duties…responsibilities…they will be covered up with more balance…and devotion…if our inner self is in ease and stable…Happy..and fresh ,for this we have to kill our times ,in positive.. productive…and useful ways.. Think good….do good..be loving and caring for all..respect all..life will be amazing and fruitful…..❤💐

Martha K. Mulling
Guest
Martha K. Mulling

Accepting one’s self comes in honesty about who you are. It’s the face your demons kind of thing. Honesty about ones self can only come when one takes that long dreaded, but accepting look at who you are. For better or worse, one has too recognize the mistakes and misdeeds one has made. These included the purposely made bad deeds as well as those mistakenly made deeds. One has to be honest. There is no excuse making in honesty; either one did it or he/she didn’t – the reason is unimportant; for whom is unimportant. The fact is: the deed was done. Even a little white lie is a lie. We have all done it. We all have, at least, one small skeleton in our closets. Once one comes face to face with these and accepts (not likes) that these deeds were; indeed, made, then one has to forgive themselves and accept the past deed as a part of who one is and learn to love one’s self in spite of one’s flaws. Accepting and forgiving one’s self is very difficult. Though it may be difficult, once the realization is made and accepted, the forgiveness can begin and one can move forward. One will still make mistakes from time to time, but one will be more aware – the think before you speak or act kind of thing. life is just better and more clear after one takes that look and learns to forgive.

Diane
Guest
Diane

This was one of the best articles I have seen on self acceptance . Thank you!

michelle
Guest
michelle

wow this is so very true this was where i use to be several times infacted where i blamed me i looked at my faults that prolonged my suffering until one day i got up something had give i wasn’t feeding what my heart needed from myself i positioned myself point fingers blaming instead of doing what i needed to overcome its exactly how i read above it sometimes i have an off day still but to read and see it helps better understand the cycle which in turn helps to discourage myself from prolonging unnecessary low self esteem thank you both so much for sharing this article helps more than you know 🙂

Catherine B. Roy
Member

Love it! Just like Buddha said: “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. “

Kara
Member

I can relate with so much especially needing to continually use positive self talk.
I have unlearned so much negative I learned it’s very important how I view me and know each day I do something and I remember how far I’ve come the fact I’m even here and sharing and being apart of an uplifting community is a blessing.
As an exemple I’ve worked through painful anxiety I couldn’t talk or even raise my hand in the class to ask for help from a teacher or instructor now I’m just the opposite I’m eager and not worried about things that used to hold me back.
I was worried about things that now I know actually how those were false fears that kept me from living a better life.
I can talk to People I find I love to learn and how we as people learn from each other.
There was a wonderful lady I would chat with at work awhile bank she was very insightful and a retiree who had amazing knowledge we would talk about Geneology.
We Connectied immediately because we both had family we wanted to know more about family we hadn’t met yet even but felt a deep wanting to connect and find them our stories were different but so similar.
I learned it’s ok to take chances and I’m important I truly as an Adult Adoptee grown up had to let go of feeling so unwanted and unimportant.
I know I’m not less worthy and the fears of feeling so different well I’m thankful to learn many of us have felt similar.
I have a story in me that can help others heal. I look forward to sharing because I heal by sharing and others heal too.
I have learned to be mindful of so many things it’s very,Very important to learning Self Love and acceptiance.
I know God Has a purpose for me I know so I do my part.

Emily Gayle
Guest
Emily Gayle

Loving your self began,when you are tested by others who want you to live your life meaning less,an example doing things that will never prosper you keep promising you that better days are a head of you when they not even have a clue of what they are talking about, you have to love your self known that you want better life, for your self and move to achieve it.

BarbaraMcMullen
Member

When you have done something so awful, it is almost impossible to even consider living and forgiving yourself. I’ve been trying for seven years. I don’t know how. 😢

Danielle
Guest
Danielle

Great and timely topic.

Rose
Guest
Rose

Hi i am need of learning how to switch off from stress and anxiety. Be a more positive person towards myself.
Thank you,
Cheers Rose🌹

Johnny delgadillo
Guest
Johnny delgadillo

The way i have found best to strive for a happier life is to remember who we were before we knew who we were and cherish those lill moments in life step out as often as possible from. The cyber world by simply lose the need for conversation paint some clouds with youre heart and let rythums sweep you off to another place. Just simply be imagination at its whole and share those loving moments with anyone who will share them back create a tornado of joy even if no words have been spoken 🙏💖💖💖🌞🐺 nama everyone 👊😉

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