Let’s look at the many different ways to love, be loved, and feel love.
But most importantly, we hope that some of the steps here will be of help to you in bringing your child to a place where they can always love themselves and know that they are special just the way they are.
How does society define your idea of love?
In today’s society, we hear the word “love” so often that perhaps the human race has misunderstood the meaning. As you know…ultimately, loving oneself is the most important love there is—and may be the most important information about “love” that you could ever share with your child. Yet it is often easier to love others than it is to love ourselves. This activity, below, gives your child the tools to teach themselves to love themselves even though they may not be perfect and to teach others to love themselves for the same reason.
Imagine if we all felt about ourselves the way God feels about us. The world would be a different place. The good news is that it is possible to love oneself that much. It is in the remembering of this, and in the experiencing of it, that a child will blossom into a happy, healthy adult.
Using the word love is important to your childs healthy development.
Use the word “love” in as many ways as possible, and then break it down to the actual meaning. Be aware that your child may get overwhelmed when they are asked questions about themselves surrounding love. It may be easier to do one step each day if you wish. There is no reason to rush through this lesson.
1: You and your child write down as many ways a person may use the word “love”.
Example: I love cake!
2. Now have your child say why they think that they, or you, would use the word “love” in each of the ways that you both listed above.
Example: Because it taste so good.
3. Now, each of you say what you think love is.
What is love? What does it feel like?
Example: Security, or a feeling in my stomach.
4. Now use adjectives to describe each other.
Take turns, one word at a time. Encourage your child to be honest is using all the words that they can think of that totally describe you. You can do the same.
Example: You are beautiful. You are helpful. You are sometimes cranky when you first get up in the morning.
5. Now ask your child:
Do you know that I love you? If they say “yes,” ask them, “How do you know that? What makes you feel that?” If they say “no,” ask them what you could do to help them know that you love them.
Example: You could listen to me better, you could spend more time with me.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent or child.
6. In this step, you are going to teach your child that love is not perfect.
No one in the world is perfect. AND THAT’S PERFECT! This is a wonderful chance to explore what is meant by the word “perfect.” Earlier we explored what the word “love” means. Now let’s explore what the word “perfect” means. Create a way for your child to see that there is such a thing as perfect love, loving yourself perfectly just the way you are.
Ask your child, ‘Do you feel perfect”? Do you think I am the perfect parent?” They will probably giggle and say, “Uh, noooo….” That’s great! Ask you child to tell you then how they feel that you are not perfect. As the parent, write their answers down.
Example: You make us clean our rooms. You’re grumpy sometimes when you get up in the morning. etc
Laugh with your child and admit, “Wow, most of those things are true!” Then ask your child, “If these things are true for them, does that mean you don’t love me?” Listen very carefully to the child’s answer. It is here that the child’s innate wisdom will show through. It is here that the bond can begin.
What you think of youself is a key to bringing your child freedom.
7. Give your child the opportunity to understand that many people think of you what YOU think of you.
That’s why it’s wonderful to love yourself…because then, others can feel the same way about you!
Example: Invite your child to share with you, or, even more creatively, DRAW on the sheet of paper, all the reasons they can think of for people to love them, and for them to love themselves!!