Only recently I was talking to a friend and he had kind of given up.
He was a go-getter but he lost his job few months ago and had been jobless for a while. He was almost under depression. Rather than taking actions he had started giving up on himself. He was losing his self confidence. The problem worsened when he started defining success on other people’s opinion because of which he started limiting his abilities as to what he’s supposed to do.
Do you feel like you’ve lost confidence in yourself? Have you had strong self doubts?
Hear it out, I have been through the phase and it passed. I have close family members who have been through it. I believe you were successful once. Loss of confidence is just a temporary thing. If losing self confidence was a permanent thing, there would be no comebacks. But you have to take responsibility for yourself and how you feel.
“A man can only be beaten in two ways: if he gives up or he dies.” — Richard Machowicz / Unleash the Warrior Within
You need to disengage from the demands of other people.
Unlearn about yourself what you have learnt from them. Be yourself. Get crystal clear on who you’re and what you want. Focus on long term bigger-picture goals, do what you feel is right for you. Although it’s risky and if something goes wrong you won’t be able to blame anyone else for your failure. But in the long run you’d still be happier.
You have to grow from the inside out.
Before you believe in god, believe in yourself. You need to get strong. The world is a great gymnasium. We are not here to find ourselves; we are here to create ourselves. If something bad happens we need to learn to fix that problem, the same way we do in the gym.
Weight training is my absolute solution to any bad news.
You can exercise you way out of any damn thing be it depression, or loss of confidence. Gym is a training ground. You train in the gym to perform outside the gym.
Weight training gives you an immense sense of accomplishment. You realize if you can get through some hardcore weight training workout, you can achieve anything. It releases serotonin and endorphins which make you feel good. Ever heard about runner’s high?
You need to surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
You need ass kicking friends who follow no-bullshit approach and focus on self-improvement.
Getting stronger and bigger only helps. Imagine yourself as an interviewer, you are looking for someone to look after your business. There are two candidates with almost similar credentials and one of them appears to be physically tough and stronger than the other one. Who’d you hire?
It’s a decision made by your subconscious mind, which is plain biology (Read-biology trumps credentials). Your mind automatically knows that when under pressure or an event of adversity the stronger man wouldn’t get crushed. Whilst there are chances that the, physically weaker guy could get crushed. I’m sure you won’t take chances! Will you?
Anyways don’t get down the wagon even if you get knocked, you’d get through it.
You have that willpower in you. You generally apply that kind of will power once in a year. All you have to do is learn to apply that will power to a variety of things in your daily lives. Weight training will teach you how to!
When your mind is telling you you’re done and asks you to quit, don’t!
Because you are really not done, you are only 50% done. You have to fight off the mental blocks. Mental blocks which have been instilled over you since childhood by repeatedly hearing “You can’t do this”
You have to learn to resist the vices.
Yes you can lift heavier and run farther. All you have to do is remember you’ve still got another 50 % left.
“Power is based upon perception — if you think you’ve got it, then you’ve got it. If you think you don’t have it, even if you’ve got it, then you don’t have it.” — Herb Cohen
Feel like a looser and you will be looser, feel like Hercules and you will be Hercules. You only become what you see and feel about yourself.
You have more power if you believe you have more power.
If you have read The Fountainhead you’d know about Peter Keating and Howard Roark. They are both architects and are portrayed as opposites.
Peter Keating does everything he can to please others and get their approval.
He let himself guided by the opinion of others. He climbs the corporate ladder fast, falls even faster. He’s never able to attain happiness and lives miserably.
On the other hand, Howard Roark remains undisputed hero of the novel.
He was an Architect who never mimicked and had originality in his designs. He was strict and never deviated from his principles, because of which he even get’s expelled from his university.
Roark’s integrity, unshakable confidence, individualistic and egotistic qualities were so intimidating that almost everyone tries to crush him, hinder his progress. But Roark’s spirit is never broken and he only grows stronger. He works even harder to ultimately triumph over all the opposition and emerge as the winner. According to author, Howard Roark was an individual who never tried to please people. He is what a man can be and should be.
“Man’s ego is the fountainhead of human progress” — Fountainhead
A man should be true to himself and think independently.
Be clear of who you are and what you want to become, hold on to your individuality & morals. Don’t surrender your thoughts for what the society asks you to be. A flourishing living forbids man to betray his mind.
Arise and don’t stop until your goal is reached. If you aren’t dead you can’t quit! Heaven and hell are right here on earth. All you have to do is make a choice.
You know what; the man who wins is the man who thinks he can!
About my friend, he’s a fighter, he has always been and he will succeed.