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Part 1. Managing Your Energy And Associations As The Gatekeeper Of Your Own Life.
A ruthless broadcast about boundaries. Getting rid of toxic people. The art of selfishness and managing your energy and associations as the gatekeeper of your own life. Cultivating two-way reciprocal relationships. At Malaga Tapas & Bar in #Austin
Posted by Bryant McGill on Tuesday, November 24, 2015
A ruthless broadcast about boundaries. Getting rid of toxic people. The art of selfishness and managing your energy and associations as the gatekeeper of your own life. Cultivating two-way reciprocal relationships. At Malaga Tapas & Bar in #Austin
Learn how to draw a line and learn how to enforce it — let people know what is and what is not accepted by you. Get selfish and take care of you.
I let my sister, her daughter and husband move in with us . it was supposed to be for a couple weeks. Turned out to be five months. The daughter was mean (21). Hateful and would call her mom f*** ing stupid. My sisters husband had died left them nothing. Then the daughter got to treating my family like that. Wouldn’t clean, cook wash her husband’s clothes ,,, Nothing . One day she was going to cuss me out on the phone. I told them to get out by the weekend. ( In That five months they had passed up many Rentals, never good enough.)/funny how they had a rental the next day!! But to my mom I’m the bad person.. Oh there dog peed on my downstairs carpet,so I had to have that steamed cleaned. Tried to help and it squished me. 😖
My mam, who I love more than life…someone I look to and try and emulate her kindness, compassion and empathy has taught me to put myself in another’s shoes and try to understand why they react so angrily and bitterly towards everyone and life…I have always been able to do that. Once I can understand I don’t feel bad. Lies, manipulation and feigned love are what have ruined me in the past. WILL ALWAYS TRUST MY GUT NOW. WAS ALWAYS RIGHT MOSTLY. Will honour my true feelings no matter whom I upset or offend. If I don’t I know I’ll end up playing a part for the sake of another AGAIN. And am really not that stupid. I’ve more letters after my name than most.
BBS 1.1, MAac, ACA, AITI…..love learning and stopped 11 years ago because it made others feel inferior. I’m planning doing a PHD in Metaphysics and also studying to become a Counsellor and stuff the begrudgers. I don’t care any longer if it intimidates others….I don’t care now what anyone but myself thinks of me! Am learning everyday. And try to be better today than I was yesterday only. Not comparing myself to others or being afraid that others will compare themselves to me. That is their issue and I can’t do a thing for them on that. They must be willing to change. One of my favourite sayings is “you can only lead a horse to water” 😀 wishing you all a great day. Warmest wishes from Ireland. 👑👑👑
My biggest problem is that I will never give up on those I love. Will always try and show them the light. It’s programmed into my DNA….my special needs siblings taught me to love unconditionally. It’s who I am. .It’s what differentiates me from others….BUT that said I’ve learned the boundaries lesson. Àine Nash won’t ever be broken by anyone EVER again. It’s my promise to myself. And you reminded me I MUST love myself first. Above ALL others. Massive gratitude and respect, love and light to you all. My Royal family 💜💡💫💥🌚👑👑👑👑
Amen
I try to draw lines in the same then they try to guilt trip me.it makes me sad
AMEN
Yup! It’s time for self definition. Royal !!!!!
I’m working on it thanks.
Yah so true i been doin this for a while now and i can say im in a better shape😀😀
Linda Clarke same with me 😯
Thanks Bryant .. I never put myself first then I get in to trouble then with finances , but helping others makes me feel better ?? Confused
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Amen
You guys are a saviour I’m watching this with my mom a people please girl who call me rude because I do not let her friends take advantage of me
I draw the lines all the time because some people are toxic
I know you want to be a good person and be helpful to people in need, but it’s impossible to give to others if your energy has already been used-up. Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing people to destroy you. There are limits. You can best help others from a position of strength, not weakness. So, don’t forget to be good to yourself first. Don’t forget to take care of you! It is never cruel to want to save yourself from being swamped by fools.
Bryant McGill thank you very much to your nice message,i hope you teach me how to more strong.God bless you more power
<3
So very true and so good to remember!
Kaitlyn Frey
My brother said this to me sometime ago and I though that it was pretty selfish until later when reality bit me in the butt.
“You can best help others from a position of strength, not weakness.” 💜
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The way to send a clear message that you are ready for better people in your life is to kick the rascals to the curb. The intimate space of your personal life should be reserved for amazing, beautiful, radiant souls — good, wholesome and loving people.
Well said Mr McGill every thing you have said is true
I so agree it has cost me family, however I can’t take fake people, people that smile in your face and talk awful about you behind your back.
Love this.
I love this and want to tape this to my wall.
The law of attraction is a beautiful thing. Thanks for the reminder. Time to get selfish. 👌
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Needed this reminder. Working on it. It feels great!
You must clear out what you don’t want, to make room for what you do want to arrive.
Yes, Amen!!
Amen… yes including the toxic thoughts! Let your thoughts be at peace as you grow and become the best you.
Yes
I’ll take all of the good stuff😊😊😊😘
Start thinking of your guilt as being selfish, because guilt blocks opportunities from arriving for you, and for those you care about.
Yes I’ve been dealing with so much toxic around me and my family that I actually took myself away from my family and though it feels lonely I feel Like I’m being selfish but then again it feels so good not being around them am I wrong for feeling that way or am. I right for doing so !!
Yes it has
Practically every successful person you know of is successful, in part, because they moved the destructive and disruptive people out of their lives. Successful people carefully manage their energy and associations; they are gatekeepers. Who you allow into your life, mind and heart are among the most important decisions you will ever make.
Needed to see this
Awesome !
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If your life is like a tragedy it is because you have been neglecting something — most likely yourself. All those happy people you see, they know something you don’t know. They know about a balanced type of relationship where they are selfish for the sake of others. You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Who you need, is you. It was always about, and for, you. You’re the one you’ve been looking for; you complete you.
I believe this because I am so fearful anxious and sad
Absolutely!!!
I totally agree
Omg yes
There’s a need now to first take care of myself. ..much more of my heart.thanks a lot Mr Bryant Mcgill
People are already hedonistic
Wow yes yes 😉
You must firmly, absolutely and ruthlessly protect your safety and sanity. Misery loves good company, so if you are surrounded with drama, gossip and fools you may want to consider that you are presently at risk of becoming one of them.
Wow so true hun! We must stay away ! Phew!
Cynthia Ila yes yes we must.
Got that right!👀👍🏽
Im thankful that i don’t have that kind of traits
So true
Thats a preach right there!
Quit trying to please everyone. Get this through your head — you are not responsible for other people’s happiness. It is exclusively other people’s responsibility to please themselves. Be authentic and please yourself, which is perfect for running-off the people who need to go, and bringing-in the people who should be in your life. We sure aren’t taught this as children are we? When children are taught to be “good” and keep everyone happy, it teaches them that they have the impossible burden of being responsible for other people’s happiness. It teaches them that other people’s happiness comes before theirs, and they wrap that concept up in a suffocating package called, “not being selfish.” And what do you get for this so-called, “not being selfish”? Acceptance — but sadly, a false acceptance for being someone you are not, which often leads to never learning self-acceptance. I didn’t say it, but we have surely all heard it, “to thine own self be true.” Get selfish and quit worrying about other people’s happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. Take care of yourself. If you try to make everyone happy, everyone will be happy but you. You will never make people happier than by being a happy person yourself. And it all begins with simple self-acceptance.
You are 1000 % right. Rascals will be rascals. Had no luck with aine family again today. Will stop. Was never going to succeed. In time would only have given a little more each day. Slowly eroding my boundaries without even me knowing. So true what you said…Nobody can do that. We are all only human. I guess I had to give it one last shot. Already family not liking my new boundary line. Am getting some gentle backlash…Will keep line firm now. It was this backlash that you mentioned that made me unconsciously remove the boundary line again/previously. Only now realise without being selfish would have jumped BACK on that merrygoround again. Eventually ending up despondent and dispirited again. Toxic is toxic, wherher family, ex spouse, ex fiancé,,old friend etc. Best way to make the room I need for all things positive is to purge the toxicity. This saddens me somewhat but will be saddest if don’t keep cutting those cords. I’m so glad I tried one last time as now have no regrets cutting. I can say to myself I tried my very best, so can walk away without guilt or shame for leaving them stand on their own two feet. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Nobody is strong enough to withstand any level of toxicity in their lives. Believe now even a 1% level of toxicity will eventually spread like a virus or cancer until one is terminable. Will try remember it that way. I’d never invite a cell of cancer into my body so why do it to my soul. Was busy being a very silly girl yesterday! Not so silly today. Hoping to be a little less silly tomorrow so thinking cutting them gently will be best for me. Need to maybe switch off that empathic vibe for those that wouldn’t throw some water on me if I was on fire! 😀
Thank you 🙂
Oooooo, the tears are flowing…truth!!
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Aren’t you tired of conforming? When you are around people, be who you are when you’re alone. If you act falsely, everything around you will be false. When you hide who you are it’s just like a ticking time-bomb. Think about all the acting you do; playing roles at work, with your parents or children and your partner. This is a major reason people become depressed and self-medicate or pop happy pills. Don’t give in just to keep the facade going. If you keep faking perfect for everyone — one day either it will all fall apart, or you will. A life crisis happens when you haven’t been being honest about who you are, and if you think a crisis isn’t coming, you are lying to yourself. When you are honest, and there is nothing to hide, your life will adjust. Honesty is one of the greatest luxuries in the world. Don’t be someone who has everything but can’t afford the truth. Think about who you are when you are alone and start being that person full time.
Who you ally yourself with is always the paramount consideration of your life.
Best advice have ever received. 💜 know how to adjust behaviour accordingly now. Be who I am when alone . 💜💜💜 it. So simple to remember. Best simple reminder ever!
Your words are so true ! Your helping me in so many ways
Even when people are clearly toxic and abusive, people will argue over cutting them off and getting them out of their life. You don’t need a reason to move someone out of your life. A person doesn’t need to be toxic to get rid of them. You can get rid of any person for any reason. It doesn’t matter if they are a saint. If you don’t like their “vibe” or you are uncomfortable, or feeling that they are out-of-sync with your life path, you have the right to let them go. Being a gatekeeper in your own life is crucial. Who you ally yourself with is always the paramount consideration of your life. Learning to move people out the rings of your concentric circles quickly and neatly is a vital skill. Protect your energy and reserve the nucleus of your inner-circle for those with whom you share a rare destiny. There is hardly anything more limiting or more empowering than who you allow to stay in your life. Get over the guilt or be a slave to guilt; it’s your choice.
And Men who are too lazy to kindle relationships and leave a wife of 40 yrs for a child bride.
How can you be truly happy at the expense of others?
Because of this sort of disposable thinking I know many lovely grandmothers who cant see their grandchildren because the I generation cant be bothered resolving issues
Just crashed about to be back on
Yeah 👑
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Mine has been too 😑
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I noticed
Positive thinking needn’t be thought of as selfish or exclusively serving the self. When you live positively it is impossible to not also be living for something greater than yourself, because when you transform yourself, your change impacts the lives of many other people for the rest of your life.
That’s exactly how my family is selfish and now that I decided to change my cell phone number because I’m tired of just everything now they are calling me selfish and I’m like what do I do let them talk !!
I am now a classy hillbilly kinds girl
If your life is like a tragedy it is because you have been neglecting something — most likely yourself. All those happy people you see, they know something you don’t know. They know about a balanced type of relationship where they are selfish for the sake of others. You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Who you need, is you. It was always about, and for, you. You’re the one you’ve been looking for; you complete you. yourself. All those happy people you see, they know something you don’t know. They know about a balanced type of relationship where they are selfish for the sake of others. You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Who you need, is you. It was always about, and for, you. You’re the one you’ve been looking for; you complete you. themselves the space for adventure often snap and lose their whole stable life just for a little excitement, when a brief experience would have sufficed. You don’t have to always play it so safe; the grave is very safe. You don’t have to be so damn “good” either. You can remain stable and sane if you will just be honest with yourself and allow yourself to be human. It’s actually less risky to let off a little steam. Remember that safety is often a failure of courage. Take a risk now and then, because your life is your adventure. Do something different today. Think something different. Get off of the hamster wheel and push back on life a little. Stretch yourself. Risk is your only chance of really living. Safety is a fatal illusion; a slow-motion dream killer.
I have been blessed to have found you two. Thank-you. 👸
Amen …
I’m off the hamster wheel and I’m a Happy Royal 👑
Narcissists love people without boundaries! Beware!
Yes…learned that the hard way n took way to long but finally got it!!!
Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life. Even professional therapists, psychologists, and social workers draw boundaries to limit exposure to their clients. What makes you think you can handle unlimited exposure to toxic people and survive? You can still be a charitable person who helps and cares about people, without helping those very people destroy your life. Learn how to draw a line and learn how to enforce it — let people know what is and what is not accepted by you. Get selfish and take care of you.
So true ! Now I understand more clear !! I was exposing myself to toxic people I never knew I had until now . Time to forgive move on and leave the toxic people behind .. Thank you Bryant
So true…create your own happiness
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As an Empath, how do I set boundaries?
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