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  • Ella Hicks changed their profile picture 1 year, 2 months ago

  • A Self Revolution

    “I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed.” — Anne Lamont
    I have have a long history of fighting with myself.
    You know what I am talking about….

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    • Ella, In response to one of your other articles that included your abusive relationship, I used some of these same examples of the brainwashing that I experienced. It took a long time to learn to love and appreciate myself.
      Thank you for your authenticity and rigorous honesty.

  • Peace on Earth, Please

    I really wanted to write a piece entitled, Peace on Earth, for the holidays this year. In fact, I told everyone that the theme for my December Newsletter would be just this. I have tried so many times to…

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    • How this resonates!
      I see that you wrote it years ago yet this article could probably resonate with many throughout history.
      It is up to us to find that peace and permeate it through the layers of the earth.
      Thank you , Ella.

  • Don't You Dare Give Up

    The Christmas Holiday Season has arrived. This time of year can often be the WORST time for people in abusive relationships. I know this because it was that way for me. I wish I had the freedom to really…

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  • The Rebellious Act of Loving Yourself

    It's so true isn't it? In our world today we are constantly being dumbed down and the reason is very simple.
    We will buy more shit if we think it will make us feel better.
    So, we end up accumulating a…

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  • Ella Hicks wrote a new post 4 years ago

    Why Didn't She Leave?

    I stayed in an abusive marriage for 11 years because I was afraid.
    Today's media soundbite is shocking to me. “Why didn't she leave?” As though it were her fault that she was married to an abusive man and caught in the…

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    • Authentic story ❤️

    • Hi Ella,
      Thank you for this insightful article on abuse.
      I was in an abusive relationship for a year when I was nineteen / twenty.
      Beyond blessed that I got out and was actually able to help others that became involved with this man after I did (they reached out – apparently he always spoke of me)
      My upbringing was similar to yours and I , as well, thought this would / could never happen to me!
      He was a prince in the beginning (from similar upbringing)and after I was “in love” became Dr.Jekyl and Mr. Hyde) He was extremely troubled and confided in me about his abusive past. All of the examples of why we stay are accurate. (It was not until I heard of his death , that I finally felt completely safe)
      My biggest piece of advice for anyone in a relationship that might be worried about their loved ones behavior… if they push you , pull on you or man handle you in any way … it WILL progress !!! Get out at the first sign of any volatile behavior. We tend to want to give people second chances but this is a situation where you DON’T !
      They will bring you roses , cry , beg, and apologize. Do not fall victim to any of this behavior . It is typical of the abuser and their manipulation.
      More should be taught about this in high school and the tell tale signs of a sociopath/ psychopath. Even with this knowledge, they are masters at the brainwashing that they are capable of.
      Thank you , Ella.

    • If someone has never experienced abuse in a marriage or long term relationship they have absolutely no idea how hard it is to get out. I often ask my sister why doesn’t she just put her partner out of her apartment. They have been together for 30 years actually since 1989. And her fear is overwhelming . And I’m sure he’s fearful as well to live on his own in New York City after such a long period of time. And in my abusive illicit affair my escape was planned one year and a half before I actually left. So it sad to sad that you leave while you are still physically there. Then you eventually make the great escape with you life prayerfully. Excuse my grammaticals.

    • I understand Ella, I am also a victim …but no more…now… though very difficult to survive but I am ready for a change…..

  • The Importance of Celebrating Your Quirks

    One thing that most trauma survivors have in common is a knack for dissociating from the pain-filled moments in their memory.
    It's an act of survival that we have mastered; we do it without even having to try. The thing…

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  • A Hopeful Sadness

    I am feeling incredibly vulnerable lately and this is not the norm for me; I am always the strong one. As an empath I am able to feel everyone else's pain, sadness, and anxiety; but in doing so I…

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  • Where's Your Fire?

    “You know when you're in Do or Die mode? When you're hovering and stumbling right to your edge and need to jump just to save yourself from what pushed you there? That's the beginning of everything amazing. Everything worth…

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  • In Hot Pursuit of Myself

    “She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.” —J. D. Salinger
    It is a common misconception that I am an extremely relaxed person.
    I hear it all the time…

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Recent posts

A Self Revolution

Peace on Earth, Please

Don't You Dare Give Up

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