The Courage of Believing in Self
It was 2008. I graduated from college two years prior and worked for a “dream come true” company in the city of my dreams. Since a child, I had wished to work for this company. I was satisfied and very dedicated to the work. I became awarded as a participant to many international conferences. Then the love of my life came to me and we started our lifetime together. For it became an incredible love and success story at that moment. I was happy, though, because I had experienced a very intense and difficult childhood, I had managed to turn it around.
Then one day I felt a slight pain in my chest. I ignored it at first and didn’t tell anyone. But the pain became sharper and stronger as the days progressed, and more persistent each succeeding day. I thought it was because I worked so hard, traveled a lot and hadn’t paid enough attention to my health. So I began changing my life habits. I started eating healthy and practicing fitness and yoga. But the pain was still present, and it became more and more difficult for me to ignore it.
I was in my office one day when suddenly I felt I was losing my breath. I experienced an unpleasant cold sweat and then dizziness. The next thing I remember I was in a hospital waking up in an intensive care unit.
Doctors examined me, and for a while I couldn’t eat and didn’t have the strength to walk.
The next day (one I’ll never forget), I visited my personal physician and she looked very worried after reviewing my exams taken at the hospital. First, she told me I had immunity disorder and thought I might have Lupus, a disease where a person’s own cells consume other cells in his body. Then, she said, “I am so sorry. We will keep you here for more tests, but according to these results I would say you have a year, maybe a year and a half to live.”
Can you imagine how petrified I was? I felt like a cold stone, unmovable and unable to do anything. What? Me? No way! I will not end up like this. I want to live! I love life! Suddenly I felt very much afraid and lost. This feeling of petrifying fear is something I will never forget and I thought for a long time I would never overcome. But I did overcome it.
During that week doctors took more tests but with no new results. So they sent me to see a cardiologist at another hospital. She conducted more tests and found it wasn’t Lupus. What she diagnosed was Coxsackie virus. However, since the virus was not discovered earlier, it had almost completely demolished my immune system. It had also attacked my heart and left me with over 10,000 stops of my heartbeat on a daily basis. Plus, it afflicted my nervous system, so I lost reflex in my feet, which explained why I had problems walking. Evidently there was no cure for the virus and all I could do was try to increase the level of my immune system. But because of problems with my heart, physical activity was strictly forbidden. I had to stay in bed for several months and gradually regain my strength.
Since a youngster, I’ve always been a “scientific person” by nature. But my mother was very spiritual. We lived in Europe back then, and one special day she took me to Monastery Ostrog on the Adriatic Sea. The night we stayed there remains seared in my memory. The sacred place was fascinating and formidable, made of ancient stones, sitting high up in the mountains and with a spectacle of lights turned on when we arrived.
I heard a lot of stories about miracles that happened to people who traveled there. I saw a vine growing from a stone and unusual cloud formations during our journey.
That night we slept on the ground in front of the monastery in our sleeping blankets. It was common for people to sleep under the open sky and receive astonishing life energy there. It was a very pleasant evening. Stars gleamed and the moon shone bright overhead, and it calmed my every thought before falling soundly asleep.
Then abruptly, something stirred me. I saw a bright, brilliant purple light in my half-conscious dream, and it whispered to me: “Wake up! Soon it will start to rain!” I immediately awoke and jumped up from my sleeping blanket. My mother was asleep next to me, but I quickly woke her and told about the light and rain. I was very confused but excited! She looked up and saw calm moonlight, twinkling stars and not a single thing that indicated approaching rain. She smiled, then lay back down. But I insisted: “Come on, come on! We have to go! It will start to rain!” People who were not asleep, were laughing at me. Then suddenly a thunderstorm erupted, so strong that everyone awoke and collected their belongings and ran to find shelter from the sudden deluge.
Inside the monastery there was one small room. People go into that room to pray. But when I entered the room and took a seat, a monk standing there saw me and kindly asked everyone else to leave the room. He immediately came over to me and began to gently press his palm to my head and recite a prayer I couldn’t understand. When I stood up, he said to me: “Everything will be just fine. I will continue to pray for you. Illness is a sign that you are on the wrong path. Love is the most important. And you are love. This world needs you. But you have to believe!” I started to cry.
I knew I had experienced something miraculous. From that moment on I have believed in the power of healing and in a Divine Universe. And love.
Later, I would lie awake at home, looking up at my bedroom ceiling and remember that extraordinary night at the monastery. Each time, I would get a strong urge to return. So, I did. Two more times. And every time I sensed my life purpose had to be something deeper than just being successful somewhere in the corporate world.
Since then, I have dedicated my life to helping people.
My mission became simple but clear and can be summarized by these profound words from a renowned writer and novelist:
“If we’re not here for each other, then why are we here?” – Dean Koontz
Thus, I created the LHM System for Emotional and Intellectual Development based on information and knowledge I acquired from many mediations and studies, disparate life experiences and years of extensive research. All this undergone in order to help people to heal, increase emotional and intellectual potential and live a life fulfilled. I published a book called “Live from Your Heart and Mind,” which hit the bestselling lists on its release day. And I started LHM Academia for business and online development, and LHM Media to spread the word of positivity. Again, I became successful, but felt fulfilled inside my heart, too. Because there is nothing more beautiful than gratitude from people who I’ve been able to help during their path of self-discovery.
So yes, helping people to live a more fulfilled life is the mission I have dedicated my heart and mind to doing after I healed myself. And being a member of MENSA and surviving a journey of immense and unusual life experiences, difficult challenges and diverse education, I know there is much I have to share that can help other people.
If I can live through such fear and hardship and raise myself up so high, I know others can too. As the monk had whispered to me at Monastery Ostrog, we just have to believe.