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Love Yourself First

Loving yourself really is the key to unlocking your future!

Let me pose an important question. Do you love yourself?

When I ask clients, I’m often greeted with a long silence. Sometimes it’s the first time someone has contemplated this. Often their tears indicate a resounding no. Sadness fills their hearts as they realise they’ve focused on everyone else. In the process, they’ve forgotten to nourish themselves and pay attention to the most important person in their life. Here’s why loving yourself, and doing this first, matters.

John Lennon’s famous quote helps to explain. “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves, first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”


Perhaps you recognise that fear holds you back from being the true expression of yourself.

Does it stop you making change which would help you feel better about who you are? Maybe you’re afraid to embrace opportunities, back yourself and take that leap of faith into the unknown, in case you work hard and don’t succeed. In essence, the patterns that you subconsciously create often feel safer, despite the discomfort, because it’s all you know. But if this is your reality, a lack of self-love and allowing fear to run the show means you inadvertently miss out on life. So how do you change this?

Firstly, breathe, get still and connect with yourself.

Close your eyes and focus on your breathing for two minutes every day. Get out into nature, take that yoga class, weed the garden. It doesn’t really matter how you connect, as long as you do. Acknowledge the resistance you feel. Then trust, and choose to meet fear with love. Walk towards fear, rather than away from it. Why? Because doing this will lessen its’ intensity. Most importantly, know that love has the potential to heal everything, even your most painful wounds. Love opens your heart. The more you connect with your heart, the better you’ll feel, and the closer you’ll be to loving yourself. 


To love anyone fully, the love story starts with you learning how to love yourself deeply, wholeheartedly and unconditionally. With all your glorious imperfections, quirks and unique qualities. When you’re faced with life’s pain and disappointments, despite initially falling in a heap, your love for self will provide you with the strength to get back up, and quicker. Yes, you’ll be vulnerable, but you won’t always feel as though you’ve been unexpectedly slapped across the face. The hurt, pain and anger will not linger as long, and any chapter of life will refuse to play on repeat for years to come.

Self-love will not allow experiences to define you or limit your future.

Strongly connected to your soul, self-love will quash fear, and your heart will know that this is just another piece of the jigsaw puzzle. Despite never being able to see the whole picture, you’ll move away from believing that challenging periods only have sharp edges, an ugly scene and dark colours. Instead, you’ll experience gratitude for the blessings that have been bestowed upon you, even if it’s many years from now. Your love for self will make sure of this. In fact, when you genuinely love yourself, given your time again, you’ll choose to put those same jigsaw pieces back together in precisely the same order. Recognising that they make you who you are. You’ll make this shift because your trust and love for self will be greater than any niggling doubt that things will not work out in the best way possible, eventually. 


That in itself will be enough to give you the courage to keep going, even when you don’t want to.

So if as you read this, you realise you don’t love yourself, I’m here to gently tell you that it’s time to go on this journey. Because until you love who you are, something will always be missing. You’ll never feel enough. Attracting everything that you desire into your life, and just as importantly, keeping it, will prove challenging. Despite all the shiny objects and accolades, peace and inner fulfilment will remain elusive. There’ll always be a flame silently burning inside you until you’re prepared to do the work. You owe it to yourself. You deserve this. I encourage you to delve into an exploration of self-love, knowing that this leads to self-acceptance, connection, strength and hope. Use love to meet fear halfway, and start loving yourself first.

Loving yourself really is the key to unlocking your future!

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Sarah Willoughby

Sarah Willoughby is an Author, Speaker, Spiritual Mentor, Reiki Practitioner and Intuitive Energy Healer. Passionate about encouraging people to reconnect with themselves and love who they are, Sarah is committed to empowering each person she works with to heal, be peaceful and transform their life. Sarah’s forthcoming book on self-love through secondary infertility, is motivated by a desire to be a voice for others, help remove the silence and provide hope to those navigating this difficult path.

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Dasha
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Dasha

Love you guys God bless you all!!!!! 💖Thank you for sharing and honestly I think even though I do love myself I like to believe enough; sometimes is good to be reminded by someone else that is alright care and love others but I should be just little selfish meaning loving myself just little more or maybe in first place me and I totally forgot about it often… 😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Linda Smith
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Linda Smith

I simply love this article! It will give way to teach you much! This is important folks! Give your ear to this! Thanks!!

Jessica Gilbert
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Jessica Gilbert

Thank you so much for this wonderful article. Loving yourself first is so important and need to have this self-love before any other relationship. Much love and blessings to you. 🙂

Arthur Punau
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Arthur Punau

Thank you for the article. I agree when faced with Love and fear I choose Love because I love myself. Without sel-love, Love does not come easy.

Alan White
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Alan White

Well written Sarah, a constant reminder for all, and to practise until it sits right with oneself. That we don’t need others to love and respect us, but starting with self the rest will follow and draw those to us who see what we are>

IonePalmer
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IonePalmer

Fantastic article; well-written and quite eye-opening. Thank you.

Mary Davis
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Mary Davis

Beautiful article Sarah! Thank you. xo

PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU
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PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU

AMEN

Jeny
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Jeny

Thank you and more power God bless you

PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU
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PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU

AMEN & AMEN THANK YOU JESUS

Sherry Meacham
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Sherry Meacham

Thank you for this article. Such a Simple Reminder. My life awhile back I loved myself. Always taking pain from close ones. I didn’t quite understand then. I did ,but ignored it. I think that’s loving myself. But now I’m not feeling it for myself.. I’m searching for something that I am feeling. Not quick sure what or whom. Thank you, you made my day.

Deb
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Deb

Thanks for a lovely inspiring read.

patricia jackson
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patricia jackson

I truly agree that loving yourself is the key to your life. I never loved myself until recently at 47 years old. I left a very abusive relationship and before that i never lived alone. I always lived with my daughter or a boyfriend. After I got out of the worst fearful abusive relationship of my life I lived on my own for the first time ever. I was to scared to trust and scared to be in a relationship with anyone. I went through a lot of struggles and very difficult times during these years of living alone. but with great treatment and support, changing my environment, I began slowly to know myself, and start to feel comfortable in my own skin. I began to start healing more in my mental illness, addiction and from my abusive relationship. I began t feel better about myself I was able to forgive my abuser which really helped my process of healing but also very importantly forgive myself. letting go of shame guilt resentments anger the past. It was always holding me back I had a great spiritual awakening and I know God loves me and forgives me and so I could forgive myself. learn from my bad choices and mistakes nd grow. I really became very positive and found my great passion in others with Domestic Violence. mental illness and addiction and spiritually!. I am so grateful to Facebook that I have been able to connect with others around the world and help them in any way I can, to inspire and impact others. I have so many goals and dreams!! to be a humanitarian, just to truly help as many as I can and there are so many different ways. I have such deep empathy and love for others because I truly love myself, and through my life experiences. It has been three years now since I have been in a relationship and I am now ready for real love and I believe it will come to me in an unexpected way and I am only worthy of real love and I can give real love to someone too. My future I am so excited for I have deep gratitude and feel so blessed for all those that love me and for my worst time in my life leading me to the best time. A life that I finally learned to love myself, because I could not have this life today without loving myself first. I Remember to forgive yourself, God Forgives and loves you, you are human, learn live and grow because when you really love yourself your life really beings it is the life we were all created to have a life of true happiness and peace. All things are possible! always have a dream! God Bless You ALL! THANK YOU Bryant and Jenni!!! you are true heros!!

Mag. Risdon
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Mag. Risdon

God Bless You both you all are amazing 🙏💜✝️

Eddie Gestoso
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Eddie Gestoso

Love your self is the greatest LOVE of all

Angeliki Anastasia
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Angeliki Anastasia

Dear Sarah, the last few months I am totally in Love with myself!! I see myself in a whole different way!! All of a sudden I became the most important person in my life!! I will always be grateful to the amazing Philosophers of McGill media and Simple Reminders, who taught me how much I need to love myself in order to feel absolute freedom and peace!! Everything in Life is sooo beautiful and sooo much appreciated!!! Thank you Sarah for healing my entire being!! Bless you always beautiful Girl!!!🏆🥇🙏🌹🌺♥️⭐️💕

Piel canela luna
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Piel canela luna

Thank you so much, Sarah. For show me it. I forget all this, ver important be consciously of it

Fknothing
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Fknothing

I like the Bob version of fear and love. Give love and be loved. Yes it is hard to be loved.
This puts a lot of people in denial. No I don’t deserve this or that or the other. The key to happiness is to accept love coming from others around us. Once you master that part, you are All In for a nice vacation.

Denise
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Denise

Love love love!! It took me a while to learn & to also do that I needed to find my inner peace. I lost my happy peaceful place recently with family issues due to my dad being ill but I have definitely found it again 😌🌸 keep these positive articles coming simply ❤️ them!

Robert Walls
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Robert Walls

Love it Love it Love it Much love and Many Blessings.