Letting Go — The Key to Getting What You Really Want

Think of letting go as learning to take part in the breath of Life itself.

Each time we see the need to let go of something — a bad habit that drags us down, an unsatisfactory relationship, a career choice that can't complete us in the way we dreamed it would, or maybe unrealistic expectations of ours about others that eventually spoil our partnerships with them — whatever it may be: what is it that's actually happened in these moments of honest self-examination? See if this simple answer doesn't describe our situation:

Aren't we being “asked” to give up an existing relationship in order to make room in our lives for something higher? Of course we are. Then why is it so hard to act on our intuition?

After all, who doesn't want a life that's better, brighter, and truer?

Here's why we hesitate to make this exchange, as so many of us do: the real challenge in such moments is that what we must choose in favor of can't be seen by our physical eyes! Can we see the truth of this, no pun intended?

Inherent in any true spiritual surrender is this one inescapable fact: we can't hope to realize the actual nature of that new and “greater” relationship we seek until we have released the old one. St. Paul, author of numerous New Testament accounts, best describes what is, ultimately, an indescribable moment: “Our faith must be in things unseen, and not in things seen; for who hopes for things (already) seen?”

When it comes to letting go and growing beyond who and what we have been up until that time, the deal is non-negotiable: first comes our gradual awakening to what no longer works for us, followed by the inner work to release the same. Then, and only then, dawns the discovery and realization of what is — in all cases — a new and higher order of our Self; our life is transformed. Confidence, contentment, and compassion become our constant companions.

To the point: letting go follows our unwanted realization that “holding on” is of no further use! In one way or another we start seeing how all of our old, tried and true solutions have proven themselves to be “false friends.”

A few examples will shed light on this last important idea.

For instance, it's become clear that blaming others for our painful reactions has proven worse than useless; that answer has turned some of our friends into enemies!

Instead of delighting us as they always did in the past, our newest schemes and dreams only taunt us with their emptiness; we're tired of running nowhere fast.

Whether wanted or not, we stand at the threshold of that unfamiliar and innermost territory called the “dark night of the soul” by St. John of the Cross; for we now know that of ourselves we can do no more for ourselves.

And so we wait there in our uncertainty, caught, as it were, between two possibilities, neither of which is wanted: in one hand there is the “rock” of not wanting to go through what we know must be done; in the other is “the hard place” of seeing that no other options are available — our one great fear being that if we do let go, our fate is sealed. We will fall into that dark yawning abyss before us called, “not knowing what will become of us” — a forbidding place from which we believe there may be no escape!

But, this is a false assumption based upon an equally false perception.

It's a lie produced by the false self to keep us from answering the call to leave it behind. Here is the truth of the matter, which you will know from yourself each time you dare to let go: You do not fall.

Instead, you rise!

How is that possible? 

Ask yourself, what happens to a kite when its string is cut?

Up it goes! It climbs into the open skies above it because that's its nature; it was made to rise. So are we: we are made to be free. Anything less is just that . . . not enough!

After nearly 25 years of writing and teaching, if I have learned one thing it is this: We each have right here, right now, everything we need to succeed with finding the lasting wholeness and happiness for which our heart of hearts seeks. Our problem is that we're sure we have to do something to be free. Strangely enough, the only thing between us, and a life without limits, is this mistaken idea.

The spiritual work of letting go and of growing into our native holiness is unlike any other kind of effort one will ever have to make. It starts with embracing — and then daring to act upon — the understanding that nothing can be added to our True Self. Just think for a moment what such knowledge could mean to us if we were to take the trouble to make it our own.

For instance, rather than spend our time struggling, in vain, to make others into what we want them to be, we would be able to see the inherent flaw in this kind of thinking. So that then — rather than trying to change others to suit our needs — our choice would be to simply drop this false idea that someone else is responsible for our fulfillment.

Freedom from the burden of false responsibilities — real reconciliation with lovers, friends, and family — the grace to forgive old foes completely — a growing sense of a loving and compassionate Intelligence unbound by passing time: these gifts and more come to those who learn to let go.

The missing half of our lives is letting go.

Make this spiritual discovery and be fulfilled; be fulfilled without effort, and be free. Breathing in would be worthless without its opposite of exhaling; think of letting go as learning to take part in the breath of Life itself, something that is as natural to who you truly are as it is for the sun to shine.


Guy Finley

Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 40 books and audio albums on self-realization.

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JasliveJo FranklinMelissa Rose RothschildRubina fazalBarbara Vercruysse Recent comment authors
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I see said the blind man not… I have but yhis last locked up lap top there comes a time to personaly let others that just because u choose to be depressed and not go to to cause pain and instead be torchered and made a fool of, gas lighting lets not for get, no pun internded… Im not wealthy at all but this last laptop that all i had lefy to try and better my self is a puece of junk no, im supose to just let go and let it keep on righr… Theres the problem i reather be 6 feet in the ground than go buy another device so they can just do as they wont and sit back and laugh while i stay isolated and struggle…. They are nothing but two narsisst people and if some one can convine that im not going to olay this and they find it in there presuse hearts to replace my phone and my laotop and make a concious desion to get off me then we hsve problems… Big time, major and they have to be resolved i have tryed my hardest but no more, and if the universe cant see this im still ok with it but i have to take a stand or theres no piece going to be up me i hopr this dinds the univerce in good standings and can see my side but if not im still ok with it..

Jo Franklin

Great article! Thank you💗

Melissa Rose Rothschild

Breathe life!
Let go of everything else.
Thank you 💓

Robina fazal

Thanks!Sir..Nice article…Yes you are right.. unless we let go and move forward our lives can’t take momentum..for leading a healthy life..Some past experiences and memories are worth mentioning and gives us happiness.. we at times Smile and feel ease while we remember them..but some and others behaviour males us depress…and we feel sad and seems as life is no more…But as much we tryst in God Almighty…our hearts expands…we trust in our instincts and passions so we started Lating go…of toxic people and their behaviours and attitudes…By focusing on ourselves…we realise we were merely in illusions and troubles created by those people who themselves in need help…as they are facing their own insecurities..depression..unfullfulment..they took benefits of our sensitive..loving and kind nature..and don’t let us discover our own selves…They can’t see us gaining power and strengths for our own self….to achieve our goals and desire..These type of self centetrd selfish people who wants others to sacrifice their lives…for them..even they are good enough to lead their lives in their ways..These type of people are every the society ..we have to ignore them…let go cool,relaxxx…and calm..and carry on our struggles to live a life as we want it to be ..when intentions are strong ,will power is there,nothing is impossible.. we can make ways our of the unfavoured circumstances…by trusting in God ,with patience courage and balance motivation through our routines to gain pace to achieve our goals.. this may seem not too easy but it’s one’s own will power and care that others will have to bow down before them…and have to compromise with them for achieving their goals .They who create fuss and panic..have to admit their faults….and we have to humbly forgive them ..treat them with patience love and care…our wishes and desires May cine true…at the proper time…but we can be successful in making our ways through hardmost struggle to a bit easy way….with heart full of and enthusiasm…to be on our track…to gain our desires goals.. When there is a will there is a way…but one have to be so calm..and patience enough to reach the peak….The journey can never be easy their are always thick and thin in whole life..just learn the art to let go..forgive….be your self to be a successful person with dignity and true Human nature..peaceful heart and Soul….Amen

Melissa Rose Rothschild


Barbara Vercruysse

Very powerful and insightful article!! Thank you for sharing <3


This is a great article that I resonate with. I agree that, “letting go is learning to take part in the breath of life itself.” Thanks for sharing!


This is SO POWERFUL. Maybe the most significant to my life of all that I read in a while. I m still processing it and rereading it. SO SO POWERFUL.

Andrew Love
Andrew Love

I will be 70 this year. In May of 2016 at age 68 I was invited to go on a Divine Mercy mission visiting parishes around Australia. I had been very sick suffering from a serious Bi Polar condition and had a chronic gambling addiction that plagued my life for over 50 years.
I did plead with the Good Lord to help me with my debilitating condition. After 4 weeks travelling, praying and promoting the message of Divine Mercy, my friend Danuta told me that I was cured. I asked her: ” what she meant by the statement that I was cured ” . She replied that ” when you pray and believe what you ask for, you have already received it ” I did not take much notice because I had not felt any change. We continued on our journey for the next 63 days.
Through the Grace of Divine Mercy I was miraculously cured of my Bi Polar sickness and my chronic gambling addiction. It came about by having ” TO LET GO ” of over 40 long years of ” Amoral ” life with all the guilt…. mistakes…. and sinful behaviours.
It is a fact that we have the tools to cope with the most difficult situations when we are willing to ” SURRENDER ” to a Loving and Merciful God..
We are asked to leave the care of our affairs to God and everything will be peaceful. As St Paul would say: ” TO WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT ” Tomorrow I will see Mark, my phychologist. It will be such a pleasure to share with him , the fact that i have reached the peak of the mountain and it is so nice to enjoy the panorama.
I was emotionally blind and a cripple. Through letting go of the past and Trusting in a Loving and Merciful God I am now free to Love and live a righteous life. As Padre Pio would say: ” PRAY… HOPE …

Melissa Rose Rothschild



Great article,,,letting go will earn your freedom… powerful… thanks for sharing🙏🏻


Bad things need to go but we must judge it wisely.