When I speak of suffering, I refer to the constant emotional pains I felt in my heart and soul caused by a deep dissatisfaction with the way my life was evolving.
The outcome I experienced was not what I had dreamt for myself. I considered myself a good boy but my life was turning into a disaster. This pain was mainly due to the knowledge that I was not living in accordance to the dictates of my inner voice of reason. There was a horrific conflict between the lives I was living, as expressed by my decisions and actions, and the life I desired to live, as expressed by my honest intentions. This inconsistency brought about severe tensions and is what I refer to as spiritual suffering.
Unfortunately it seems like so many people are living with this internal conflict and they seem to have accepted it as the only way to live.
The world is designed in such a way that makes us lose touch with our true identity. From our upbringing, to our environment, to our schools, we are taught to conform to the pre-existing structure of the world if we are to survive. The economy of the world is ruled by corporations and because of that, people are trained all their life to be suited to work for these organizations. Nobody teaches us to be ourselves, and thus we grow up with this conflict between who we are and who the world wants us to be. People get used to living their lives this way because they have not known any other way of life.
I was stuck in a job that I hated and I was living a life that I knew wasn’t anything near my desires; in fact it was almost in opposite of what I knew I could do.
I had no passion and maybe no reason to continue living and I had resigned my fate to living a mediocre life whose meaning was in disagreement to the power that I felt inside. I was afraid to let go of my job and the comfort that it brought. If I left my job, where would I go to and where would I start from? This was the dilemma. Stepping out to pursue my passion and purpose was scary because I was not sure if I would survive. The main problem was that I was not even sure if my so called passion and purpose were real or just an imagination. Everyone I consulted told me to play it safe and remain where I was but I knew inside of me that I was living in constant dissatisfaction and spiritual torment.
The reason why we prefer to remain in our suffering rather than take the risk of venturing into the life we truly desire to live is based primarily on the fear of failure. Fear keeps us imprisoned in a world of pain, and for those who have financial responsibilities, the risk may seem too reckless, so they remain in their familiar world. This fear emanates from our false sense of self. Some people are not even aware that the voice they hear on the inside is their authentic soul crying to be released while others are scared to leave their comfort zone.
We must conquer this fear if we really want to live a life that will end with minimal regrets.
For most people, this fear is conquered when their lives come crashing down on them. It usually takes one form of great loss or the other to propel us out of our living hell. I lost everything I had before I realized that my life was empty and of no purpose. Everybody deserted me except for a handful of friends and family. My eyes opened to reality and I knew that I could not go back to living the way I used to. That was when I decided to journey inwards to my soul to discover who I really was and what I was meant to be doing with my life. When I let go of my suffering, I found my talents, passions, and purpose. Now, my life seems to be evolving happily with so much inner peace and joy.
Greatness can only be achieved when we muster the courage to face the fear of the unknown.
True happiness can only be achieved when we are able to express ourselves in all honesty and truth. Healing is only possible when we start living our authentic lives. The purest forms of humility, obedience and compassion are borne out of the most intense forms of sufferings. The lessons from my sufferings have brought out the best in me so far. Take the risk to be your authentic self and the universe will provide all you need for success.