Letting Go Of My Suffering

Greatness can only be achieved when we muster the courage to face the fear of the unknown.

When I speak of suffering, I refer to the constant emotional pains I felt in my heart and soul caused by a deep dissatisfaction with the way my life was evolving.

The outcome I experienced was not what I had dreamt for myself. I considered myself a good boy but my life was turning into a disaster. This pain was mainly due to the knowledge that I was not living in accordance to the dictates of my inner voice of reason. There was a horrific conflict between the lives I was living, as expressed by my decisions and actions, and the life I desired to live, as expressed by my honest intentions. This inconsistency brought about severe tensions and is what I refer to as spiritual suffering.

Unfortunately it seems like so many people are living with this internal conflict and they seem to have accepted it as the only way to live.

The world is designed in such a way that makes us lose touch with our true identity. From our upbringing, to our environment, to our schools, we are taught to conform to the pre-existing structure of the world if we are to survive. The economy of the world is ruled by corporations and because of that, people are trained all their life to be suited to work for these organizations. Nobody teaches us to be ourselves, and thus we grow up with this conflict between who we are and who the world wants us to be. People get used to living their lives this way because they have not known any other way of life.

I was stuck in a job that I hated and I was living a life that I knew wasn’t anything near my desires; in fact it was almost in opposite of what I knew I could do.

I had no passion and maybe no reason to continue living and I had resigned my fate to living a mediocre life whose meaning was in disagreement to the power that I felt inside. I was afraid to let go of my job and the comfort that it brought. If I left my job, where would I go to and where would I start from? This was the dilemma. Stepping out to pursue my passion and purpose was scary because I was not sure if I would survive. The main problem was that I was not even sure if my so called passion and purpose were real or just an imagination. Everyone I consulted told me to play it safe and remain where I was but I knew inside of me that I was living in constant dissatisfaction and spiritual torment.

The reason why we prefer to remain in our suffering rather than take the risk of venturing into the life we truly desire to live is based primarily on the fear of failure. Fear keeps us imprisoned in a world of pain, and for those who have financial responsibilities, the risk may seem too reckless, so they remain in their familiar world. This fear emanates from our false sense of self. Some people are not even aware that the voice they hear on the inside is their authentic soul crying to be released while others are scared to leave their comfort zone.

We must conquer this fear if we really want to live a life that will end with minimal regrets.

For most people, this fear is conquered when their lives come crashing down on them. It usually takes one form of great loss or the other to propel us out of our living hell. I lost everything I had before I realized that my life was empty and of no purpose. Everybody deserted me except for a handful of friends and family. My eyes opened to reality and I knew that I could not go back to living the way I used to. That was when I decided to journey inwards to my soul to discover who I really was and what I was meant to be doing with my life. When I let go of my suffering, I found my talents, passions, and purpose. Now, my life seems to be evolving happily with so much inner peace and joy.

Greatness can only be achieved when we muster the courage to face the fear of the unknown.

True happiness can only be achieved when we are able to express ourselves in all honesty and truth. Healing is only possible when we start living our authentic lives. The purest forms of humility, obedience and compassion are borne out of the most intense forms of sufferings. The lessons from my sufferings have brought out the best in me so far. Take the risk to be your authentic self and the universe will provide all you need for success.

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Uchenna Ilo

Doctoral researcher (Innovation Management), Spiritual Thought Leader, Philosopher, Spiritual healer, Social Entrepreneur, Creative Writer, and Lover of Life.

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  1. Brilliant !! You have said it so beautifuly and truly…yes after following your posts and reading this article i can tell you that i too have conquered all the fears , the sufferings pains guilt which was consuming my energies my beliefs for decades has totally evaporated from inside….I had lost all hopes and i kept on doing everything for everyone then but now i am a new person with more confidence…thanks to you Uchenna for showing me the light and make me realise my worth, I have learnt to live again….a beautiful thing has happened recently in my life….this is giving me hope to live again, I am not afraid of any failure never was only i was a victim of the environment my surroundings of negetivity and toxicity… but i have firmed up myself and i soon would be stepping out of my past ….
    I hope i will make it and taste my freedom….

    1. Wow. Such a beautiful comment. I’m in tears. Stay blessed and keep shining the light that resides in you. You are free already. Thanks for your kind support <3

      1. I am glad that you gave your precious time to go through my lines, i am sorry to make you feel sad…you are a person with a golden heart and soul….your golden wings can comfort a bleeding soul….you are the blanket of love…anAngel for billion hearts..and for me you are the Angel whose perfume of the roses has filled every inch o me….

  2. Dear Uchenna <3

    Thanks a lot for writing this piece of encouragement article to help us face our fears and move past it. <3
    Thanks to your inspiration i came up with an aphorism that is something like "Don't let death become your alarm clock because it would too late to wakeup to fullness of life. - Wong Lok." Somehow existential crisis is an alarm clock that is essential to wake us up, even this is a tremendous pain that we need to endure. we all experience pain in life but learning the pain is the medicine but not fully the pain. pain is an alarm clock, but if we dont get out of bed, we would still be having the suffering. And your encouragement and helpfulness to help others is why we can get out of our bed and thrive. woop woop. Have a super nice day and night.

    much love and appreciation to you,

  3. “Greatness can only be achieved when we muster the courage to face the fear of the unknown.” Brillinat! As always! Wonderful article. I’ve been there. Actually, partly I still am but working hard towards the change, since I’ve made a decision! Thank you for this beautiful article!

  4. This hits home…..suffered a TBI in 2011. I am not the same cognitively, have vestibular issues and balance issues. It is the pain of grieving the old me vs the new me. Do I have challenges? Yes. Some days better than others. You know though I am warrior strong! I will continue to be that way as well.

  5. This hits home…living with TBI since 2011. So many unknowns and fears in not being the same person I was prior to my injury. Cognitive skills, vestibular issues, balance issues… take them all for granted. I have to push through things that are so very uncomfortable.
    I am warrior strong!

  6. Suffering brings out the best in all of us. When people ask… why then? If there is a God does he allow for so much suffering? I believe from my own experience that suffering is the birth of blessing. I have learned so much from having lived a difficult life. I am who I am today because of it and though I have a lot to do still – I know I am on the right track so to speak. I’ve been forced to evaluate my surroundings and myself. You can’t run or hide from life – it eventually forces you to face it one way or another. Wish I had known that as a kid – maybe could have saved myself the bumpy ride it took to get here. When I meet people who have overcome great fears and found joy behind the curtains of the unknown I am in awe. Thank you for sharing your words I found them inspiring. I have no intention of allowing fear to prevent me from mustering up courage to conquer – to be successful in 2018. Success means new things to me today after learning from so many of you – your articles, your videos – My final article was yours for the day before heading to bed. What a good one to land on – Success for me will be conquering fear. Might take me several tries in a day, redo’s on the regular, a lifetime of enduring but I’d like to beat fear entirely one day.

    1. Thanks for taking time to read the article and for responding with such a beautiful insight. Suffering is a major part of our life experience. It forces us to think outside the box and provide solutions to our problems. This makes us active participants in this short time we have here. Conquering fear for me is to be able to do what I want to do regardless of the fear. Have a beautiful week ahead.

  7. “…we are taught to conform to the pre-existing structure of the world if we are to survive.” Such a tragedy to think about. Many of us never even have the thought to question anything that is. I was just talking about this in regards to education. Yes Uchenna, we MUST find the courage to face our fear of the unknown. Challenge everything you think you know! A beautiful life is ours to live; the world is nothing but ours to design.

  8. Uchenna,
    I am so glad that you listened to and followed the guidance of your inner voice. I can’t imagine how emotionally taxing it must have been to live such a state of constant conflict. I agree with you, sadly so many seem to have accepted this as the only way to live. Yes, we need to learn how to return to our center, to our Self. I am so happy that you stood in your truth and reclaimed your power! Yes, nothing is more uncomfortable and scary that confronting our fears. Yet, without actually doing so, how will we ever move towards our betterment and a higher quality of life? I absolutely love this Uchenna: “The voice they hear on the inside is their authentic soul crying to be released.” Beautifully stated.
    Yes, it is sadly true that a true turn around often does not happen until people have faced absolute crisis or rock bottom. When the choice to change is almost forced. “I decided to journey inwards to my soul to discover who I really was and what I was meant to be doing with my life. When I let go of my suffering, I found my talents, passions, and purpose.” Powerful. Yes, change and healing cannot happen without honesty and truth. This is another great quote from your article Uchenna: “The purest forms of humility, obedience, and compassion are borne out of the most intense forms of sufferings.” I loved your inspiring story. Thank you so much for sharing. <3 <3 <3

    1. Thanks for bringing out a quote from the article. I will create a poster from it. Thanks for taking time to read this piece and your response is just pure truth. Fear may be the greatest killer of all dreams.

  9. This is just breathtaking… Truly BEYOND brilliant my Royal soul brother Uchenna. Every single word spoke straight to my SOUL and I can relate so deeply. “Greatness can only be achieved when we muster the courage to face the fear of the unknown.” – Uchenna Ilo. Just LOOOVE!!! Your writing is truly otherworldly and you are such a powerful inspiration to me in every way. Thank you for sharing your incredible gifts with us all my beautiful brother. Thank you for being YOU, you brilliant world changer. So much love. <3 <3 <3

  10. Every single word touched me at my core. Your perspective and personal experience is a gift to all of us. Thank you @uche. Thank you! Thank you! This article could be life changing to so many. Another example of how you presence on this planet and your work is positively and exponentially powerful. I can’t wait to see the beautiful ripple continue.
    Entering year #3 of “saying YES to all things uncomfortable”. I am so with you!!! YES!

  11. From day one I knew you had something special deep down inside you. I am extremely grateful that you have found your passion and zest for life, for now we will be able to be apart of your purpose. You will be our teacher and mentor . Thank you!

  12. I have never felt trapped by my job…
    I had to juggle my job along with caring for my very ill Mother. It was a promise my Sister and I made many years ago ….My
    Parents were wonderful and loving people who taught us to share and appreciate whatever we had….
    They lived through the Great Depression.
    Valuable life lessons were learned by listening to them.
    I see life very differently than some of my Siblings…
    Maybe because no matter how difficult life became
    God Blessed me and gave me the strength to endure and persevere. Praying for others to become enlightened …
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I cannot compare my humble life with you…

  13. Very heart touching story.. I really admire you for so many things. I hope i can take also the risk just to follow my passion. I am the bread winner in the family and that is the reason why I can’t do what i want and what i love for the sake of the people i love. I am happy for you.

  14. Thank you so much for writing this article. Every now and again, I am forced to let go and my heavenly father always makes a way out of what seems like no way.

    Last year, I had reached the depths of my many years of suffering that I simply ran out of viable options and let go. I have to tell you, I got through the ordeal with lots and lots and lots of prayers, crying, smart work, and support by people who love and care about me.

    Today, I am still healing as I continue to let go of other unhealthy aspects in my life. It took a lot of courage for me to admit my truth and then do something about it. Reading your article reinforces the calm inner voice that keeps reassuring me that I’m going to be okay.

  15. Your article came at a great time for me. This is exactly what is happening to a good friend of mine. The problem for me is that she puts me on a guilt trip for trying to live my fulfilled life. It’s pushing me away from our longtime friendship because I don’t have time to listen to her hurtful comments when I try to share my day with her. I hate to loose her but the life she’s been handed with an ill husband makes her jealous of the things I do in my new retired life. Your article has opened up some light to her situation. I thank you for that.

  16. Excellent article! I am really impressed with your profile also. You are certainly a good mentor to look up to. I am so glad you have found your passion and purpose. Your background is astonishing!

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