I have been exercising the release of the drama and how to have a drama free life for the last year.
While watching a program regarding this subject I suddenly felt validated on what I have achieved so far and felt the need to write of what I had learned and experienced.
I have been working with a family member who thrives on drama, that literally has a feeding frenzy on drama and negativity on a daily basis.
My husband and I had searched for ways to support her in her journey only to ask ourselves, “could this be her drug of choice??” She has learned to fuel herself up with negativity in her thoughts and actions — like a car ramping up, engine revving and wheels spinning, off the brakes and quickly squealing out of control. To make matters worse when things are looking good for her and going her way, she would sabotage it, and starts to refuel once again with all her negative thoughts and behavior.
In the past, I would try to help by explaining to her, “please try to look at things from a different perspective, or to learn how to think more positive.”
I believed that I was giving her good advice that would possibly extinguish her negativity and drama.
I really believed I could possibly put her mind and soul into a happier healthier place, yet all the while she would be ranting and raving, and once again this would fuel her self-destructive fire. Her drama seemed to feed her soul and to make her feel alive, but all the while she was hurting those around her that cared and loved her the most.
I finally decided that by engaging in her drama I was a part of it as well and adding to it.
So I took action for the last few months when the drama entered my home, I explained that “this will and can no longer happen in my home. No ifs or buts; this will no longer continue.” It was not up for debate, this is just how it was going to be.
Yes, she has stormed out slamming the door. But those times are fewer and fewer. Progress! I know that we are teaching her what is and is not acceptable behavior in our home. We are teaching her how we will and will not be treated. This is something we do unconsciously every single day. I feel as though we’re now getting back to a healthier drama-free relationship. Now if she wants to continue her life of drama, that is going to be her choice.
My choice is a home with boundaries, limits, and to be free of drama.
Sometimes a boundary requires a “goodbye,” so we can keep a person in our hearts until they can be in our lives again.
What have you learned about boundaries with loved ones?