This time of year can always be a bit trying emotionally.
For as joyful as it should and could be, there is always a great deal of emotion tied to this season as well. For me, the loss of my dad has plagued the season for six years now. My dad passed unexpectedly on November 29, 2009. It was a very difficult time for my whole family as my sisters, my mom and myself always looked to my dad as the rock of our family.
We all grieve in a different way, and for me, I distanced myself from Source energy and became somewhat withdrawn for months. Then, one day I walked into a room in my house that I call ‘the healing room’ and when I went to click the light switch on — it did not light the room.
I grumbled a bit as I was constantly in a dark space and not expecting to feel any kind of joy. I knew in my heart that this would not please my father but I thought I couldn’t help the feelings I was having so I allowed myself to be miserable most of the time.
After grumbling a bit, I threw myself on the bed in that room. As I wept, I turned and noticed that the plug to the light in the room was not completely plugged into the wall. I starred for a moment or two and then pushed the plug into the wall. As I did so, the light came on…
Not only the physical light in the room — but more important — the light in my heart.
I heard a gentle voice deep in my soul say, “enough” and I knew that it was time to shift the darkness into light. Tears poured from my eyes for quite some time and then I wiped my tears and knew something magical had happened and I needed to brace myself for the signs of change.
Days later I read an article that stated that most of our thoughts are negative-approximately 90% of our thoughts on a daily basis! I decided to do a little experiment. I took a small notepad and made tally marks throughout the day to see just how many negative thoughts I had in a day.
I thought I was actually becoming more positive since the revelation of the light but truth was — I was still very negative.
I noticed that I had several small negative thoughts a day, such as; ‘great another red light, ‘ ‘I’ll never get that chance,’ ‘I wish I had that,’ etc. I took note of this and realized that approximately 80% of my thoughts were negative so I made a drastic change.
From that point forward I decided that I was going to be absolutely mindful of my own thoughts because life is simply too precious to waste our time in darkness.
I shifted my thoughts so that I allowed myself 20% negative thoughts on a daily basis and 80% of my thoughts had to be positive. When a negative thought would come to mind I paused for a moment and asked myself if it was truly worth my 20%. This gave me the room to feel those negative feelings but forced me to be choosy out the time I spent in darkness.
I had actually worked it out in hours on a daily basis so I knew how many hours I could allow myself to be negative.
This became somewhat of a game with me and I quickly learned that there wasn’t very much that I would allow to steal my joy. Before I knew it my thoughts were about 90% positive and 10% negative!
This 80:20 premise became a critical part of my self-care and a positive contribution to my book, ‘Ignite the Light: Empowering Children & Adults to Be Their Absolute Best’.
It has helped me to realize that if I can’t do anything about a negative situation, I am certainly not going to be a prisoner to it. Instead, I am going to rise above and realize that it’s just not worth my 20%.
During this holiday and throughout your year I hope that you will consider this 80:20 rule for yourself because we are not here on this Earth to be prisoners of negative thoughts.