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How to Handle Negative Experiences in a Positive Way

Heal your heart and move forward in the best manner possible.

We have all had the experience where we have been annoyed, offended, hurt, saddened or angered by another. How can we handle the situation and ourselves so that we exercise, grace, tact, and possibly even advocate for change in the world?

Together, let’s explore some strategies which we can adopt to both heal our hearts and move forward in the best manner possible.

Judgment.

It is simply not necessary to introduce judgment into everything. To understand someone’s intention you’d have to fully understand them. How can we possibly know what is in the heart and mind of another? Many times, we and others act without forethought, without conscious intention. Sometimes, our emotions overtake us. A lot of the time, we barely even know ourselves! Broken people hurt other people. Can we really judge them for that?

If, for example, someone is ill, do we judge them for being ill? Do we hold their illness against them? No, of course not! It wasn’t that person’s choice to become ill.

By the same token, perhaps, that person we are so quick to judge hasn’t made a conscious decision to be where they are. Maybe, they themselves don’t even know how or why they ended up where they are. Can we blame people for not knowing what they don’t know?


Boundaries.

If you can’t handle yourself in the company of a person, then it is necessary for you to enact a boundary for the well-being of both yourself and that other person. If you can’t keep your emotions in check, it may be best to distance yourself until you have found some healing for yourself.
We want to spend time with people who motivate us to be our best selves, because we want to bring our best selves to the world.

We do not need to keep people who have harmed us in our lives. We can set boundaries. We can’t possibly have time and energy for all people anyway. We must, however, ensure that we make time for ourselves in our own lives, we must engage in self-care. Self-care is particularly important when we are hurting.

Vengeance.

We have all heard the saying that “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” and it is true: Hate breeds hate. Hate will not heal. It will not heal you, and it will not heal them.

If a person is broken, that person needs healing. They need your love more than they need your hate. Hate will not break a negative cycle, but love may make a difference. Even if you don’t know how to love a person, don’t treat them with hate. Treating them with hate chances them also losing the ability to love themselves.

People who don’t love themselves are often volatile and at risk of poor choices and behavior. Don’t make the problem worse. Don’t treat people the way they have treated you. Treat them the way you wish to be treated instead. Don’t become that which you hate. 


Expectations.

Don’t give with expectation. Don’t help someone expecting them to return the favor. Don’t expect them to change. If you have helped leave it at that. Your intention was to help. Your intention is not the outcome.

You’ve done your part. More than that, you haven’t added to the problem. That’s quite something all in itself!

Compassion.

It is easy to love people who are easy to love. The real challenge is to love those who have hurt or harmed you. Love and compassion are not circumstantial. You don’t have to understand people in order to love them. You don’t even have to like them or agree with their actions.
Remember the human beneath. We do not know what may be tormenting a person’s soul.

You can love others with a compassionate heart. Never underestimate the power of kindness and compassion.

Forgiveness.

Don’t carry the darkness of hate in your heart. It will harm you. That anger will seep into every aspect of your life. It will taint everything.

Instead, work through your emotions. Find forgiveness and let go. Don’t hang on to things. Don’t bring the past into the present. When we bring the past with us, we diminish our presence in the moment.

Learn to let go. Forgiveness is for you, not them. Forgiveness does not mean you condone or agree with what someone has done. Don’t replay that which has hurt you over and over again. Don’t torment yourself further. You deserve peace.

Remember, you have the power to make a difference. Your very words and actions can effect change. Don’t be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution instead.

Be defined by love in all you say and do.

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Akiroq Brost

Akiroq is a Human Potential Inspirational writer, who has a passion for helping others explore and harness the extraordinary potential that lies within each and every one of us.

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prabhakar rajarapu
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prabhakar rajarapu

AMEN

BethLakmann
Member

Beautiful….every word. Thank you.

Sarah Willoughby
Member

A very thought provoking article Akiroq, thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. I will share on my business page in the next week, take care, Sarah x

Michelle Homme
Member

Thank you for these great words! Imagine how we could live if we just change a few things? We all need to be reminded of who we SHOULD be,

Gail Liming
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Gail Liming

I liked the line don’t carry the darkness of hate in your heart, which will seep into every aspect of your life as I recalled a dispute the other day. This individual was a victim of uncalled for remarks, and told me the story. The next day she was still holding onto those angry words. I mentioned stop there, don’t take that any further, you’re only causing more heart ache for yourself, try to drop it and move forward, you know the words were untruths anyway. And she didn’t say another word. I enjoyed reading your article.

Kathy
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Kathy

I have given up my love for life

karley
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karley

Really needed this article today, thank you 🙂

Julia Kinandu
Member

Letting go of the past is very beautiful thing.Thanks

QueenCharlie
Member

This article is so timely. Our whole world is in a state of despair! What the world needs now is love!

Sheryl Mejia-Villeda
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Sheryl Mejia-Villeda

Why do we have problems forgiving ourselves and not others? That is the way it is for me, any way!! Loved the aericle!!