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How to Go From a Big Mess to Big Magic in 3 Steps

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that sends you hiding in your dark closet sobbing.

Let’s be real folks. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that sends you hiding in your dark closet sobbing.

Figuratively and sometimes (*clears throat) literally.

Since my 1st year of saying ‘yes’ to all things uncomfortable, my life has become something so remarkable that most would not believe. Like “big magic” amazing. Now stop!!! Don’t be a hater! Hang with me a second. This could really change your life.

Most of my day is filled with these bizarre magical miraculous moments of serendipity.

No joke. I’m not bragging. In fact, the only part of the equation that I can take credit for is the saying “yes” and then taking action. I frankly feel like I am on a speeding bus driven by every soul that ever died with regret. They are hell bent on me having none, even if that means every minute of every day is spent basically having to overcome every fear in the freaking book! Many of you would choose death by fire over tackling fears. I am embracing it. Most of it is a mysterious puzzle and I no longer waste time forcing the pieces to fit how “I” see fit. If I told you about an average day for me and the crazy amazing things that weave in and out of my space? Your jaw would hit the floor. You would either hate me or want to drink what my friends call the jo-juice.

And, what is that?? Here’s the cliff notes version… “Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.”

I roll around in it every single moment as if it is my breath. It is my everything. You asked my secret. Boom! There you go! Next!

So, let’s come back to planet earth for a moment. You know? Real $#!%. The foster puppy peed all over my favorite rug. The plumbing nightmare. The ever-changing motherhood minefield. And/or the fact that I am like the iron man Tony Stark of empaths. Just got my red iron suit and I have no clue what all these damn buttons do and therefore, most days I’d rather not leave the house. Run-on-sentence but true story. These superpowers of sensitivity cannot be taken lightly. We can talk about that later. 


So, as I claim to be this mindful, sensitive, loving person, say hello to “disappointment”… I have spent a substantial amount of time practicing releasing attachment from expectations or attachment to the end result. It has been liberating! But when an opportunity is ripped out from under you & you are left to feel unnecessary and unimportant. Ouch!

Then, we move to the issues of “trust” to forgiveness?

That forgiveness also includes forgiving ourselves for not listening to our gut. “I knew you had an agenda and it really wasn’t about me. But you said…(insert amazeballs opportunity here). And, I called my mother to share the news!” The details are unimportant because look, we are all opportunist to some degree. Right? Some people just miss the human factor or lack ability to see past their needs. We all know that guy that plows through people, filling their own cup and leaving a mess behind them. The inconsiderate guy at the coffee station at the office or that lady that calls you to retract your invitation to speak on oprah. They are not concerned with your feelers. It is not their job. Those people? Hmm… if it gives you comfort, know that they struggle too. In business, home life, love life, etc. But they are a little different than you. They don’t ask why achieving their goal is so freaking hard? And, they likely are not reading this article. (side note: you will never get an honest answer from anyone on your payroll. Period. Find someone in your life that shows love with straight talk.)

By the way, please don’t look at celebrities or successful or famous people and think that they don’t hurt. Trust me, not getting invited to the neighborhood bbq when you aren’t famous, hurts way less than being uninvited to hang out with the foo fighters because they only have 8 seats in their suv. The bigger the opportunity. The bigger the hurt when it falls through.

Set that aside. If you have hung in this far & are still reading this? You want honesty and truth. You want some sincere guidance for moving through disappointment. How to move past those experiences. Here goes…

1. Do your best to remain unattached.

Remember that people are only human and they don’t always handle things, including “your feelings” with grace and ease. That’s your job, not theirs… 


Deep down we all want to believe that someone thinks highly of us, that they believe in us, see our badassary and all that jazz. All the stuff that we are supposed to be feeding ourselves and not relying on from others. Remember? That stuff! (yes! I thought I had that covered on my end, but apparently, I am still a human being with feelings. Darn. Go figure.) So understandably, it hurts when you are passed off like day old salami because something bigger came along.

2. Feed yourself.

Give yourself some credit. You are not weak. Maybe you even love extra big and that makes you extra incredible. But you still have feelings. Own them. Feel it and don’t feel bad for losing your lunch over it. Give yourself a minute. And, if you played your cards right? You might be lucky and have that one friend that gets it. That reminds you of what makes you exceptional. That can list what makes you a really great human being.

3. Gratitude and big magic.

This hurt will pass. I promise. And in my experience, something much more exciting shows up once I reconnect with gratitude. Find something. Anything too big grateful for. Then, build on that.

I know, there it is again! That word! Gratitude.

It’s true. My life is a testament to the power of gratitude. You have permission to have your meltdown. But don’t’ stay there too long. Gratitude is the door that when you open it? It leads to the stuff that dreams are made of…big magic! Move through the mess, find gratitude, and then simply open the door. I’ll see you on the other side.

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Jo Davis

Entrepreneur, "Yes" Mentor, Author, Public Speaker, International Artist, Photographer, Skydiver & Lift A Sister UP Founder

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Cecil
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Cecil

Yes Gratitude! That’s the key word. I’m hapoy to always read your articles. It really is inspiring and gives me the gut to face life as i live the present moment. I am a stage 4 breast cancer patient and undergoing chemo treatment. Reading your articles gives me the kick to look forward, to live in gratittude for the gift of life, being resilient to hopelessness. Everyday is a brand new day with a brand new hope. Giving love in return and compassionate to other people who are also suffering. To live each day with a purpose in life. Thank you for sharing with us Bryant and Jenny.

Vasudevan Bhattathir
Member

our Upanishads says that attachment is the root cause of all sufferings if we are able detach our our mind from the incidents happening around us and the infinite thoughts coming into our mind ,then we will be able to have a peaceful mind .every activities we do and think creates an impression our mind . there is solution for this .we human beings have the capacity to observe our own thoughts one part of our mind will have to be a witness to thoughts . in due course we will understand these thoughts are not ours but coming from outside we will be detached to these thoughts . we always think that we are special. but that notion is not correct we are only a small particle in the universe .the whole world has emerged from unknown power of God . enjoy the glory of it . every breath we are taking due to his greatness have gratitude for it. every small incidents happening to us are very insignificant . try to love every creation of God.
This is a very good and informative article thank you

Robina fazal
Member

Beautiful piece of writing . ❤👑💐Sweet Jo Davis❤💐Love it..Yeah you are v.true in saying..we all are doing a lot in our lives to make it our best versions..to have fun..to feel good..to be successful..to be happy.. to be powerful.. e.t.c..Some get wht they want with out much struggle.. and Some folks like us who are sensitive.. have,more creative senses..want more changes ..in our life perspectives..always thriving for new perspectives,New ideas..New Solutions..we want to make life full of zeal.zest…and enthusiasùm..we have to be make a commitment to ourselves to be bit patient..to feel love for others.to care respect others..to have much gratitude for others..because if we wanna live a happy..healthy.. powerful life..we need others help.. and we need their support…As this life is like that..we all are linked toģther ,in all matters of life..in all walks of life..Give and take is life’s motto…We however wanna feel a lot gratitude in giving list .but it’s a real truth ,that we in return expects good for us..and it’s not bad..We must be loving.. caring..compassionate..but we should be loving to ourselves..our needs..our wellbeing..our desires..our passions should be our focus..but 😀😘But should have gratitude and love for others..❤☝️👍This makes the life in ease and with purpose…Be a soul Thirsty for love ,care and compassion.. and you will see your own Soul will be nourished ,Happy.. and healthy.. and this will make your life a blessing.. Amen..
.

Terra
Guest
Terra

Thank You for sharing your views and “Lifting Me Up”. You are inspiring!!!

nandita
Guest
nandita

it was really amazing and eye opener. All the people knows about all these phenomena but it’s all kept hidden deep inside their minds.when one comes and give reminder lessons,like you, it feels that.. yah why cant we as everyone has the same stamina, so thanking you for refreshing those hidden inner strengths.

Donna LiAne
Guest
Donna LiAne

Jo Davis congrats! this is positively amazing… you know my story and what I’m dealing with in my life a little more than most.. And while these three simple steps can seem hard to implement when you’re going through the really tough stuff I can attest that that is the only way to get through it or at least get through it a whole human being not allowing yourself to be torn apart by the situation and while these three simple steps can’t seem hard to implement when you’re going through the really tough stuff I can attest that that is the only way to get through it or at least get through it a whole human being not allowing yourself to be torn apart by the situation. You have been such an inspiration to me over the last year I know I’ve been quiet in the Royal Society because what I’m dealing with is huge and I don’t want to jeopardize any aspect by publicizing any details. I honestly didn’t ever do a lot on Facebook prior to joining the Royal Society but I am so glad I did and so glad for all of you that inspire me daily you Jo Davis are amazballs to coin one of your phrases … Thank you for sharing I know I’m not the only one that needed this message … hugs

Laurie
Guest
Laurie

Gratitude! Embrace it, live it, share it! Love your perspective Jo!!

michelle
Guest
michelle

oh wow what an eye opener it does help to give you a kick start and something to look forward to after such a fight well in my own case anyways forgiveness is a biggie for me usually let go but this case took every single piece of me clean why because i was to soft and giving people seen that as weakness but i trust what ive leaned and trust my gut never let me down olny i for not listening more

Wendy
Guest
Wendy

Great article!! Thanks Jo Davis for sharing your insights and tips with us!

Danette Mark
Member

I love the reminder of gratitude and on non-attachment. It’s so funny how we can easily forget to be grateful for what we do have in life mainly because loving what we have right now leads to having no attachment to outcome. Yes, we should see an outcome but it is when we are too focused on an outcome we forget to enjoy the now. If we are happy already we get more to be happy about. Also, I feel like when we let life happen and really live in the now, that is where the magic is. It’s right now. Its making the most of what we have and not feeling like we need more. Love this article! Thank you for sparking excitement!!

JustinRoberge
Member

I really enjoyed this article. A very authentic and refreshing read.

Cheryl Thiele
Guest
Cheryl Thiele

I like to think I have an attitude of gratitude, but need to be more conscious throughout my day so I’m more consistent. I want to find the positive in all things, but my thoughts and feelings sometimes get in the way. These are simple steps that I’m going to start applying in my life. Thank you!!

patricia jackson
Guest
patricia jackson

yes we do want to believe everyone is like us kind and caring. I Know that is not reality. I just try my best to create kindness. and when someone does not think highly of me , says hurtful things, I am human it may hurt but I don’t let it stay there. I love myself for me, and my thoughts come back to that. therefore I do not let my energy be wasted on negativity. Giving yourself credit is so important. for the longest time I didn’t I was very hard on myself. It was because I did not love myself, so for me when I did start to love myself I found myself giving myself that credit. my therapist really helped me and still help me. It is not easy for a lot of us. I would say this is the reason I got here, and would mention several people, and she would say well what about you??? then I said oh yeah okay well I guess I did play a part. lol! but seriously when I say a lot know wow I did that I am proud of myself out loud it is an amazing feeling! and gives you all the more confidence and look on the mirror and say I Love myself! Gratitude is very huge!!! I never truly had gratitude up until fairly recently in my life. and each and every day it is with me and never leaves me and that is how I know I am truly grateful. and there is so very much in my life. being able to leave my abuser to be on the road to healing with my domestic violence, my mental health, having my daughter back in my life,helping and inspiring others, being positive and kind having my great strength, courage and resisilence, happiness and peace and being spiritually, having great faith, loving me and just loving the simple things in life I have huge gratitude for. to God, family, friends, therapy, my church family,my church medication, insurance, government, facebook, support groups ,doctors nurses first repsonders, police,etc there is just so many people and so much I am grateful for. when you have grateful for something you take that and like you said build on it and you will find yourself feeling gratitude for so much more and it becomes second nature. I feel like having all this gratitude has built the life I have today and will just keeps on building on it in this journey of life. I am human I do have meltdowns they are far less, but just recently when I did, I did not stay stuck in it, being me I brought out my great strength gratitude , confidence, I was able to get out my feelings, have them validated, and my meltdown , melted away quickly, just like my great ice cream cone I ate lol, but anyway because all the positive things in me and my life is far bigger and so I move on quickly with a great smile.!!!!! I believe that even more amazing doors will open for me!!! and just keep on trying, love yourself and they will open for you too!!

Missy Wamble
Guest
Missy Wamble

Beautiful words of encouragement! 😌🙌🏽🌟♥️ Thank you & keep writing! 😘

Jennifer Buckson
Guest
Jennifer Buckson

You are amazing I loved this and the ending words were perfect you are so inspiring- and a great writer!

Gail
Guest
Gail

Agreed! So difficult to accept what happens, but it’s key. And I loved what you said about gratitude. It really is necessary to having “big magic” happen. Love this!

Ayonna Suttles
Guest
Ayonna Suttles

Yes, I can truly attest to the power of gratitude in my life. Having an attitude has changed my life in less than a year. I sometimes sit and cry when I look back on everything I went through in the last two years and all I can say is “thank you.” Gratitude is truly magical!!! Thank you for the article

Lisa
Guest
Lisa

Loved this❤️

EileenMarschke
Member

Great article, Jo! Attitude and gratitude truly make a big difference.

Suzan Muhialdeen
Guest
Suzan Muhialdeen

Beautiful article, i think the feeling of gratitude is very important because when the person feels gratitude the blessings will increase and new doors will open to him or her ,so we have to count our blessings everyday and say thank you to God .

Noelle
Member

Amazing article and I have to agree with most of it. And, on some points I thought “hmmm I know that, why am I not doin it?”
Thank you for the ah-has and reminders.

Jessi
Guest
Jessi

I need that today. And everyday.

Maryann
Guest
Maryann

Great advice! I will definitely be sharing my with my daughters. Never too young to lift
a sister up!

LynnDailey
Member

These are helpful steps to go from a Big Mess to Big Magic! Thank you for sharing Jo!

Uchenna Ilo
Member

Thanks for this inspiring article. Very insightful and practical.

Stephen
Guest
Stephen

Such a great inspiration! Keep it up Sister from another mister! <3 you

Kathleen
Guest
Kathleen

Oh, Jo! The timing of this piece and your ever-presence in my life is undoubtedly God whispering to me…
Thank you for being such a monumental inspiration and reminding that when things aren’t I “think” they should be, I can say “thank you” and move out of my own way.
Much love to you and support in your continued journey of amazing growth. ❤️

Jo Franklin
Member

SISTER! I am so proud of you, happy for you, and elated to see you share❣ I could not agree with you more! GRATITUDE 💗. Especially when life delivers a #@$% sandwich…. Thank you for being a beckon of light on your path for others to see an help find thier way.

Ginadevera
Guest
Ginadevera

Be real and thankful for what you have.And be fair to everyone.just keep goin as long as your not hurting anyone.All we need is to be brave, for us to overcome trials.Maybe it hurts for a moment,but at the end it will be a happy ending.

Ruth E Barnhart
Guest
Ruth E Barnhart

Thank you for sharing you path to success. I AM GRATIFUL, for almost everything I have ever encountered. I am usually a happy person. I forgive whoever messed up the deed on the house I am waiting to close on. This is the longest 3 and a half months I have ever endured. Maybe the lesson here is patience? I am not sure.
Anyway Thank you two for making me look at the problem in another way. Take care, be blessed. I love you both.
Ruth

Wong Lok
Admin

Thank you so much for sharing your insights on gratitude <3 it really helped me to grow out of the ungratefulness caused by illusion of un-wantedness that i need to tackle, observer, nurture, heal and grow. When gratitude kicks in, it can help me to remove myself from the gutter of bitterness and me back to earth surface at least. 🙂 woop woop wish u have a wonderful day! 🙂 much love, loklok

Nicholas J Cobos
Member

This is a great article @jodavis and these simple steps resonate with me. I understand but it’s still a crazy dance wanting change and wanting more but still being in gratitude for the day and just being. Keep on lifting and sharing. I want more and more #Jojuice .

Rita
Guest
Rita

Thanks for sharing the above article with me.. i just woke up from 2 dreams that was showing me the same thing..

Andrea
Guest
Andrea

Really enjoyed reading this article!😍 Unattachment and gratitude, couldn’t agree more!!!

Betty Mathis Rodriguez
Guest
Betty Mathis Rodriguez

Enjoyed the article, thanks so much for sharing !!! Great advice !!! 🙂♥

Christie McGuigan
Member

Jo I so get when things get crazy … motherhood , housework , health , family relationships , and Yada yada …people have different priorities and see things in their own viewpoint . I appreciate the 3 steps how we should be unattached ,not taking offense seeing the broader bigger picture , and feed ourselves in our dreams and goals … and ultimately have gratitude in everything . Making sure we are going in the right direction In life …

Renna
Guest
Renna

It’s so true.. Be grateful on things whether it be small or big because by doing it good things will happen to your life.. thank you for the very inspiring article 🙂

Liping Feng
Member

Thank you, Jo, for sharing your vibrant energy! You are amazing! Love & Abundant Blessings to you and yours <3

Dionne Ford
Guest
Dionne Ford

Great advice the 3 steps !
Its not so easy to stay unattached particularly if you put your heart and soul into a relationship and they let you down badly.
Easier said than done ! I guess in life we meet people short term and long term as part Of our journey

Janice Wayne
Member

Thank you Jo for a uplifting and magical article ❤️

Marie
Guest
Marie

Preach & Amen sister! ❤️🙌🏽

Jeyashree suresh
Guest
Jeyashree suresh

Lovely
Gratitude indeed is magical… when we count our blessings life is more positively charged..it’s like..”count ur blessings by the flowers that bloom and not by the leaves that fall ..” 👍

Debbie Shelswell
Guest
Debbie Shelswell

Love it, thanks so much…

NMcDowell
Member

Great article, thank you.

Cheryl
Member

Great Read. Great Advice THANK YOU GUYS.

Cheryl
Member

Great Read . Some light for me . Thank YOU GUYS f