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How to Go From a Big Mess to Big Magic in 3 Steps

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that sends you hiding in your dark closet sobbing.

Let’s be real folks. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that sends you hiding in your dark closet sobbing.

Figuratively and sometimes (*clears throat) literally.

Since my 1st year of saying ‘yes’ to all things uncomfortable, my life has become something so remarkable that most would not believe. Like “big magic” amazing. Now stop!!! Don’t be a hater! Hang with me a second. This could really change your life.

Most of my day is filled with these bizarre magical miraculous moments of serendipity.

No joke. I’m not bragging. In fact, the only part of the equation that I can take credit for is the saying “yes” and then taking action. I frankly feel like I am on a speeding bus driven by every soul that ever died with regret. They are hell bent on me having none, even if that means every minute of every day is spent basically having to overcome every fear in the freaking book! Many of you would choose death by fire over tackling fears. I am embracing it. Most of it is a mysterious puzzle and I no longer waste time forcing the pieces to fit how “I” see fit. If I told you about an average day for me and the crazy amazing things that weave in and out of my space? Your jaw would hit the floor. You would either hate me or want to drink what my friends call the jo-juice.

And, what is that?? Here’s the cliff notes version… “Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.”

I roll around in it every single moment as if it is my breath. It is my everything. You asked my secret. Boom! There you go! Next!

So, let’s come back to planet earth for a moment. You know? Real $#!%. The foster puppy peed all over my favorite rug. The plumbing nightmare. The ever-changing motherhood minefield. And/or the fact that I am like the iron man Tony Stark of empaths. Just got my red iron suit and I have no clue what all these damn buttons do and therefore, most days I’d rather not leave the house. Run-on-sentence but true story. These superpowers of sensitivity cannot be taken lightly. We can talk about that later. 

So, as I claim to be this mindful, sensitive, loving person, say hello to “disappointment”… I have spent a substantial amount of time practicing releasing attachment from expectations or attachment to the end result. It has been liberating! But when an opportunity is ripped out from under you & you are left to feel unnecessary and unimportant. Ouch!

Then, we move to the issues of “trust” to forgiveness?

That forgiveness also includes forgiving ourselves for not listening to our gut. “I knew you had an agenda and it really wasn’t about me. But you said…(insert amazeballs opportunity here). And, I called my mother to share the news!” The details are unimportant because look, we are all opportunist to some degree. Right? Some people just miss the human factor or lack ability to see past their needs. We all know that guy that plows through people, filling their own cup and leaving a mess behind them. The inconsiderate guy at the coffee station at the office or that lady that calls you to retract your invitation to speak on oprah. They are not concerned with your feelers. It is not their job. Those people? Hmm… if it gives you comfort, know that they struggle too. In business, home life, love life, etc. But they are a little different than you. They don’t ask why achieving their goal is so freaking hard? And, they likely are not reading this article. (side note: you will never get an honest answer from anyone on your payroll. Period. Find someone in your life that shows love with straight talk.)

By the way, please don’t look at celebrities or successful or famous people and think that they don’t hurt. Trust me, not getting invited to the neighborhood bbq when you aren’t famous, hurts way less than being uninvited to hang out with the foo fighters because they only have 8 seats in their suv. The bigger the opportunity. The bigger the hurt when it falls through.

Set that aside. If you have hung in this far & are still reading this? You want honesty and truth. You want some sincere guidance for moving through disappointment. How to move past those experiences. Here goes…

1. Do your best to remain unattached.

Remember that people are only human and they don’t always handle things, including “your feelings” with grace and ease. That’s your job, not theirs… 

Deep down we all want to believe that someone thinks highly of us, that they believe in us, see our badassary and all that jazz. All the stuff that we are supposed to be feeding ourselves and not relying on from others. Remember? That stuff! (yes! I thought I had that covered on my end, but apparently, I am still a human being with feelings. Darn. Go figure.) So understandably, it hurts when you are passed off like day old salami because something bigger came along.

2. Feed yourself.

Give yourself some credit. You are not weak. Maybe you even love extra big and that makes you extra incredible. But you still have feelings. Own them. Feel it and don’t feel bad for losing your lunch over it. Give yourself a minute. And, if you played your cards right? You might be lucky and have that one friend that gets it. That reminds you of what makes you exceptional. That can list what makes you a really great human being.

3. Gratitude and big magic.

This hurt will pass. I promise. And in my experience, something much more exciting shows up once I reconnect with gratitude. Find something. Anything too big grateful for. Then, build on that.

I know, there it is again! That word! Gratitude.

It’s true. My life is a testament to the power of gratitude. You have permission to have your meltdown. But don’t’ stay there too long. Gratitude is the door that when you open it? It leads to the stuff that dreams are made of…big magic! Move through the mess, find gratitude, and then simply open the door. I’ll see you on the other side.


Jo Davis

Entrepreneur, "Yes" Mentor, Author, Public Speaker, International Artist, Photographer, Skydiver & Lift A Sister UP Founder

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PhyllisDavid LindsayPRABHAKAR RAJARAPUJo DavisJackie Wilushewski Recent comment authors
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Wow Jo, this is amazing and just what I needed to see today. As always, you truly are an inspiration to me. I love your passion for living life at the fullest. Love you 😍.

David Lindsay
David Lindsay

Grateful humility will attract good things into your life. Consistently focus on it and give it 2 weeks. You are welcome.



Jackie Wilushewski

Great article, vert sweet and genuine ❤

Just really love the focus of having fun, being our best versions and the power we have to get though struggles and sensitive moments. And also how to have compassion and understanding for self and doters.

Thank you and Blessings ❤



Catherine B. Roy

Brilliant article, Jo! We all experience mess but overcoming it and transforming it into magic is something not all of us know how to do and we all need it. Thank you!


Gratitude! Embrace it, live it, share it! Love your perspective Jo!!


oh wow what an eye opener it does help to give you a kick start and something to look forward to after such a fight well in my own case anyways forgiveness is a biggie for me usually let go but this case took every single piece of me clean why because i was to soft and giving people seen that as weakness but i trust what ive leaned and trust my gut never let me down olny i for not listening more


Great article!! Thanks Jo Davis for sharing your insights and tips with us!

Danette Mark

I love the reminder of gratitude and on non-attachment. It’s so funny how we can easily forget to be grateful for what we do have in life mainly because loving what we have right now leads to having no attachment to outcome. Yes, we should see an outcome but it is when we are too focused on an outcome we forget to enjoy the now. If we are happy already we get more to be happy about. Also, I feel like when we let life happen and really live in the now, that is where the magic is. It’s right now. Its making the most of what we have and not feeling like we need more. Love this article! Thank you for sparking excitement!!