A typical Monday that was to quickly become one of the most significant Mondays of my life…
On my way to work, amidst the chaos of my divorce proceedings, I listened to Marianne Williamson speak.
She asked, “Who is that person in your life that you can’t deal with? That you hate?” She proceeded to make a promise. She said “I promise that if you pray for them for 30 days, one of two things will happen. Either you will change, or they will change. But something will absolutely change.”
What the heck? Was she crazy? No!! I won’t do it! Driving to work, I cried and cursed. I pounded the steering wheel. When I arrived, I got out of my car, still angry. I stomped my feet on the ground and screamed. Full on bloody murder, amazon wild woman scream. Then, like an angry 5-year-old, I went into my office, shut the door and buzzed the front desk explaining that I would be unavailable for clients.
I was having a meltdown.
How dare she say that! How dare she suggest such a thing. After so much hurt, how could I possibly pray for this person? She had no clue how this person had hurt me. I cried off and on most the day clinging to my story, my pain. I just lost it. I sat drenched in hurt, eyes swollen, and monster headache.
In that moment I felt the weight of being the victim, sitting in all my hate. I was so very very tired. What was I fighting for?? To hold onto this miserable story?
“Fine!” I thought, “I give!”
I resentfully angrily prayed. Every freaking day for 30 freaking days. Week one was awful. By week 3, I felt lighter and stronger. By week 4, I was actually sleeping better.
At 31 days, nothing he did or said would phase me. It was CRAZY. I was like a superhero who had just discovered a new power. By week 5, HE WAS DIFFERENT. No joke. I promise. He was softer to speak and more gentle in conversations.
This experience was life changing for me. I began to understand in those weeks how our emotions and belief can rewrite our story.
Moment to moment we choose and in those choices we manifest what happens next.
At the least, we can tailor our role in each experience as we are consciously curating and fine tuning our thoughts. Just remember, the details aren’t as important as the energy you radiant. If your intentions and your belief radiate love and forgiveness, you will find peace. I know that now. And more importantly, I know just how powerful we ALL are.