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Forgiving Those Choices We Made by Finding the Gold

I call it “Finding Your Bless.”

I have been thinking a lot about the unwise choices that I made in my past, and the missed opportunities that they resulted in.

I’m sure you have some too. We all do.

The blessing is that a our Divine Creator blesses us with an alternative path or situation that can be just as wonderful. If we so choose, that is.

What do I mean by that?

Well, for example, I often see people make the choice not to love, or open their heart because of fear. I’m sure you know people like that. You may be in love with someone like that. Or lost a relationship because of this. Or this may be you. Fear of another failed relationship, fear of being hurt, fear of being vulnerable. There are many reasons. But it’s always about fear.

At all times we are either in fear or we are in love.

We are either open or we are closed. Expansive or contracted. With creative souls, (and we are all creative souls) I see the choices of not going to that event. Not making the phone call. Saying no instead of saying yes. Not completing the project. Dropping out of the group. Not showing up. Canceling the gig. Making unhealthy choices for our bodies.

So many choices due to fear. Our shadows. Call them unconscious choices.


Unconscious choices based on fear can really derail our best intentions.

What those fears and shadows are as varied as people, but they are usually colored with;

  • “I’m not good enough”
  • “I’m not ready.”
  • “Everyone else is better than me.”
  • “I don’t belong.”
  • “I don’t know how”.
  • “I don’t have what it takes.”

Those are some reason we make poor choices, but how do we get over the choices that we made that weren’t so great? All those missed opportunities to love or success Forgiveness!

We must make peace with our past.

Make peace with our choices, and to do that you must see the gift that came with the choice.

I will give you a personal example. Yesterday I was listening to a lecture about living your purpose. They spoke about that moment in your life when you get hit with an inspiration that fires you up, and about following that moment with action. I call that a divine clue that whispers of your purpose. Some call it finding your bliss.

I call it “Finding Your Bless.”

I was thinking about my own inspired moment, and the unconscious choices I made afterward that could have sabotaged it. Thank God that God had other plans for me, but sometimes fear and “not good enough” can take us off course.

One thing I have learned is that sometimes that ship you think your sailing is being sailed by a better captain than you. Sometimes we are less sure, less confident. Doubt creeps in. We can encountered difficult people and challenging situations that trigger our shadow places about being good enough or pretty enough, or  “whatever” fill in the blank enough.

Sometimes we  don’t have the life skills or inner tools to be able to process them and continue to move forward.

Personally, the talents God gave me have been like a ship on a stormy sea, being hit by waves of self doubt. I did not have the knowledge that I needed to create goals and follow through with action steps and accountability. For some people that might be just common sense, but that was something I didn’t know about. I thought the dreams and desire alone would lead me to my destination.

There were times I became more fearful of failure and more and more down on myself until I stopped making choices altogether and gave up my inspired dream. The truth of the matter was I didn’t have the tools to get me there. I had the talent and the vision, but I had no inner tools, no steps,  no road map to get me there. I also had a lot of fears and shadows that were interfering with my taking action. Those shadows were sabotaging me. I was making unconscious choices. Regret is not a easy thing throughout our lives.


So how do we make peace with our choices when we feel we let ourselves or others down?

First of all, Life is a process of learning and we are all works in progress. But we also must see the gold in the choices. We must see the good it has given us. I will give you an example.

Here is the “gold” from those choices I made:

  • I would not be doing what I am today. Which is being of service to others.
  • I help other people who have lost their way.
  • I have helped thousands of people, because I get it. I’ve been there too. My motto is “Heal Your Heart, Heal the World” Changing the world, one person at a time.
  • I also would not be married to the most wonderful man I could ever dream of. We just would not have met.
  • I would not be living by the ocean in our little cottage with my gardens and my animals which feeds my soul.
  • I would not have this site and all the art, meditations, writings, etc. It wouldn’t exist and you wouldn’t be reading this.

Think about the gold in yours.

  • What are the good things that came from them?
  • What did it teach you about yourself?
  • What nugget of wisdom did you get from it?
  • How did it help the evolution of your soul?

Write it down. Journal it.

We have to find the good, we have to find the gold in the choices of our past in order to be at peace with them and be at peace with ourselves.

To forgive our past we have to find the gold within it.

And another thing we can do is do our inner work so our current and future choices are not made unconsciously.

We must do our deep work so that we make more conscious choices than unconscious choices.

Those unconscious choices come from our shadow, our fears, with our resistance and excuses.

The key is making choices based on what are divinely inspired purpose is and not based on the “I’m not good enough.” We begin to make inspired choices that bring us toward our vision instead of away from it. I’ve been there. And know what regret feels like. But I don’t feel that regret anymore. I feel blessed, and grateful. Fulfilled.

I didn’t have the tools I needed then. But I have them now.

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Eileen Anglin

Eileen Anglin is a energy healing master, angelic energy artist, and writer and facilitator of archangel empowerment. She was a popular angel columnist for About.com.

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33 Comments on "Forgiving Those Choices We Made by Finding the Gold"

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patricia jackson
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patricia jackson

Forgiving my past was key for me to move forward and not only that it turned a tragic abusive time into my passion for life. I had to forgive myself and others to let go of shame guilt resentments and regrets. my past used to be the darkness I could never escapes, I lived in fear, anger, sadness, making poor and dangerous choices, and I really felt because of the very abusive relationship I was in I really would die. My mental health issues declined very rapidly it was my whole life I merely existed, and a lot of days did not want to wake up. Through a very intensive support group, therapy, a change to my environment , I slowly pulled myself out of the great fear, I began to know myself, forgive myself and learn to love myself. Through a lot of hard work I began to have inner peace joy and be very blessed and grateful for my life today. I am constant learning, and face challenges as we all do as part of life but I have the tools to move forward, and I am open minded to use tools because fear isn’t standing in my way. I want to make my passion a great passion. We are all a progress on this journey. My past has made me who I am today. I have let go of fear. I have self worth self love, I love to inspire and help others advocate for domestic violence and mental health. I have goals and dreams and just keep trying each day to improve my over all well being. I am blessed and grateful for all my loved ones, friends for my life today. I have great Faith in God and I have struggles or troubles I know I am in God’s Care and that it will be okay. I enjoying the gift of Life!

Robina fazal
Member

Beautiful article. Eileen dear..Thanks for Sharing.. ❤💐Yeah gratitude is the way towards peaceful life..we have to make peace with ourselves to lead our lives l8ve with zeal and zest…we are Human’s we do make mistakes,we wanna be happy and satisfied to live our lives sometimes we take wrong desicions ,wrong choices.. wrong attitudes ,wrong behaviour..even from innerselves we didn’t mean to hurt our selves or others..we get disturbed at times and to deal the situations and negative people around us..as we are highly sensitive loving persons but no better results we can able to see or those who try to let us down and put hardled in our lives to restrict us from growing and gaining our own strengths and own self power to create a life our choice..as they want us to now down and live a life which they want…we try to hold our selves and to face challenged some times we have to arrogant and become selfish and in this fuss we let ourselves in more struggle and make some wrong choices and takes risks on our selves.. but that’s not the solution..we have to be patient enough to deal whts going around us in favour or not..because those who want to create drama will go on on their tracks enjoying and leading their lives with happy notes and we are in continues suffering process..So we have to forgive and forget and walk on with peace and confidence.. as nothing can be achieved unless we are Stable enough to lead a full life..so we have to let go move forward make peace with ourselves..be calm and relaxed.. let our Mind and Soul work in a better way for this we have to ignore things we should not be so sensitive..we should live our moments.be with ourselves.. This life is so hard you can never expect good from all all time..you have to be resistance and string enough to make your ways..so be positive and contended with your inner strengths and let the ways cleared.. any thing can be achieved with courage and will power.. and patience..Trust in God…and do your best…

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

JuliaPathfinder
Member

Wonderful article thank you.
Looking for the ‘gold nuggets’ within my past and even current challenges, has always helped me to make peace with the past, heal, and then extend that transformational energy out to others.

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

Luciana
Guest
Luciana

It’s hard to move on but finally I decided to forgive myself and stop thinking of my past and to look forward for my future not to do the same mistakes. It’s easier for me as my sons are adults and I want them to know that goals and dreams can be accomplished at any point in life as long as you don’t give up. It was hard for me I thought I deserved everything that was happening to me but it was the wrong decisions and choices I did in my youth that took away a lot of my happiness.

Lalie Nieto
Guest
Lalie Nieto

Hello Eileen, Jenni and Bryant 💕 I’m still in the process of figuring out the blessings behind what happened. But one thing i discovered is that i have ghe power to forgive at any moment. Just a few jours ago, negative thoughts started to surface, so what I did was pray. It was effective because I felt relieved and free from the burden of carrying those ugly emotions. I told myself that it’s silly to make my self continuously suffer because of the past. Another blessing was in relation to writing. The roller coaster of emotions that I experienced gave more depth to my soul/ persona which affected my writings. To tell you frankly the last time I wrote a poem was in high school or college. And those intense emotions I felt/feel inspires me to write more poetry, essays etc. In the future. (some i don’t publish in my pages). Writing has a healing effect on one’s soul and i have been getting a nudge from the universe to continue it. I can feel that I can use writing not only as a tool to help myself heal but other people as well. Thank you.💕 I will comment again as soon as have figured out the other blessings behind what happened.🌞

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

Suzan
Guest
Suzan

Somtimes I feels regrets from some unwise choices I made in the past and made me missed good opportunists in my life ,but I started to forgive myself for it because I was without enough experience or wisdom also life don’t gives lessons for free and we learn from our mistakes, to get peace of mind we have to learn from the past and live in the moment and don’t worry about the future

Beatrice Hernandez
Member

Beautifully written…
Gratitude for having survived all the accidents and
tragedy in my life so far.
They actually made me learn to be stronger.
Always try to forgive and forget what others have intentionally done to harm me..
It can be difficult to do so and it may take years to accomplish this…
Thank you for sharing your insights…

Jackie Wilushewski
Member

Lovely article! Just absolutely Love your insights on forgiving and being able to grow from our past and “find the Gold within” Thank you <3 *sharing*

Tiffany Newsome
Guest
Tiffany Newsome

It is my belief that bad choices are all a part of maturing and growing up. Not one single person on this planet is perfect. If one can learn from his or her mistakes and not willingly repeat them, what a wonderful gift of wisdom and knowledge they would have gained from life. Sometimes depending on the character of the individual, adversity has to show them a thing or two more than once. That’s okay too. Sometimes it takes others a little longer to learn. Just as long as you learn.

Gnell turner
Guest
Gnell turner

I have made a lot of bad choices but I have moved on. The past that haunts me is the bad choice my man made over thirty years ago. This is what I gravel with constantly. I don’t know how to get past it. Suggestions

Crisselda A.Leal
Member

Honestly I still dont know until now what is my bless in the choice that Ive made. I cannot feel the inner peace but I am happy outside. I found the love and care that i was longing for but im afraid until when it will last. Career wise Im still struggling to maje it on the top again and that i think is the reason of emptiness i feel inside. Im praying for the full recovery in my life. Please give me your thoughts about it. Thanks

Lins
Member

Sometimes it’s a part of growing up.

Rhonda Martin
Member

I seem to be Stuck in this Situation, I have been married twice, Divorced Twice. THE last marriage nearly Broke me. I’am Depressed most of the time. I find IT REALLY Hard TO TRUST anymore. I spend a Lot OF Time Alone, I Don’t HAVE A Lot OF Desire To Do Much OF Anything, But I WANT TO!!!! But I JUST Don’t Think I Know How.

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

The “attitude of gratitude “gives us appreciation for all things , even any past that we might feel shameful or guilty about.
Acceptance is key.
Thank you Eileen.

Lawney
Member

When we know better we do better. Always be thankful for unanswered wishes because those unanswered wishes lead us to a better place. Love your article. I felt a very healing energy when I read it.

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

Lawney
Member

❤️

Susan Griffin
Guest
Susan Griffin

The first step in forgiving yourself is the hardest.
You literally have to choose to forgive yourself.
Guilt is a very sneaky feeling that can and will
hold you back. The easiest way to see that you
forgiven yourself for something is if that one moment
in time keeps replaying in your head. There may be
one big one or several smaller ones. They can hit
you when you aren’t even thinking of anything remotely
close. So, in my experience, the best way I have
learned to forgive myself is this…. I let that one
moment in my head. I don’t fight it. I feel
every emotion that comes from it from beginning
to end. I acknowledge to myself it was a bad choice
and what I can do better in the future. Then I say
“I forgive myself.” It will never be guilt because
God or whoever you follow does not forgive you.
That is already given. It is you that has to forgive yourself. Say it out loud. I forgive myself. Keep
saying it until that moment never comes back to
your mind. Then move on to the next moment in time.
There may be few. There may be many, but don’t
stop until you feel peace with yourself. Then start
looking at all the good that has come from those “bad
decisions”. They may not have been bad at all, but a
learning experience to get you where you are today.
Life is funny. The things you go through can be
taught to others because of your experience. I will leave it at that.

Jennie K
Guest
Jennie K

I have conquered a major past decision, that I have to reconquer on a daily basis. It has left me with diagnosed PTSD, BPD, amongst other diagnosis’ as well. This is an excellent article and well written. Those of us who continue the fight to conquer that often associated guilt, can just never hear these word enough. Thank-you.

Sheryl
Guest
Sheryl

I am cool with my bad choices because it made me grow up. I had to learn changes have to happen. My life won’t be better until I do something better or different. The same methods won’t work forever. Failing hurts so much so that you tell yourself “never again”. But you do slip up at times. I just keep trying until I can’t try anymore. Once fed up that’s all you can do.

Glenis
Guest
Glenis

There is a book by Richard Bach called,’One, and on the back of the book it asks a question.
If you had to do it all again, would you? If you could live your whole life again, would you make the same choices?
My answer is yes!
My walk with regret lasted a long time as I beat myself up because of the choices I made to find love, not thinking that people would understand me when I made the choice of not settling because there was no fire just friendship basically. I didn’t want to settle and discover I was trapped. It wouldn’t have been fair to either one of us. I chose to tell the truth when I was told I was in love with him and I didn’t know it.
It took years for me to search myself and who I really was, and what I really felt blossomed to the surface to heal me and say it was ok to put myself first for once in my life and make me happy.
When I took time to love me, I found really love when least expected it.
So don’t give up! Those choices, some regrets, some phases, stages, and timeframes serve to teach, heal and inspire you to the best you.
Live, love, laugh, learn🌹

Jennifer Medhurst-Barnes
Guest
Jennifer Medhurst-Barnes

God gives us blessings and lessons and if we are wise the lessons become blessings. Forgive those who have hurt you or wronged you, don’t forget but learn from it then, forgive them, bless it, release it, let go and let God.

Judy Conley
Member

This was a hard one for me. I hated to think of the years I wasted on a man who didn’t deserve what I gave. He’s gone, finally. I have forgiven myself and become stronger in the knowledge of knowing, I did my best with the tools I had at the time. I’ve grown from the past. How could it be a bad decision? I’m stronger in the knowledge of who I am and find I like who I am becoming. I’m kinder, more loving of all around me. I give of myself, with no expectance of anything in return. I tell people when I admire their qualities. I share my loving thoughts with all who touch my heart. If I think a stranger has beautiful hair, smile or whatever comes to mind, I tell them. I smile at strangers, offer to help if I see a need in the elderly or disabled. Helping load their groceries may be the only act of kindness they receive that day. I know small acts of kindness can turn my outlook around for the rest of the day. I’m no Saint for sure. I’m paying back for the small gestures I receive and grateful for each one.

Betty Manley
Member

I made a very bad choice years ago that’s why I am not going to do that again but something from my past has come back to haunt me so I am going to circumvent to do what I want to do

Charlotte
Member

I’ve come to a place of peace, in my heart, letting go of the past. I continue to calm and change my thoughts, when my mind wonders backwards. I feel I’m finally at a really good place now, after struggling for five years, to leave it all in the past. I finally made it!! New home, new job, a new hip (literally), and a new outlook on life and love. I’m excited to embrace my new adventures.

Sheri
Guest
Sheri

I really do not regret choices I have made. Maybe the way I acted but it’s in the past, I haven’t dwelled on them. Maybe before, I have been putting my life path in God’s hands for quite a few years now. There are times I have questioned Him but figured this is what He wanted me to be doing , whether I understood it or not. I accept my fate through God.

Melanie
Guest
Melanie

That is a great article I will think about those things. Thank you

Barbara Vercruysse
Member

Loved this article!! Sharing on my page <3

Angeliki Anastasia
Member

Incredible, amazing article!!! Eileen, beautiful name, it sounds like🎶 🎼 🎵 music from the Angels!!! Every beautiful day, love and fear possess deeply my inner being! My feelings are like a boomerang. I throw away love and very scary fear arrives and then I throw the monster away very forcefully from my inner drive. I try to visualize the force as the speed of light 💡, in order to throw terrifying, monstrous fear into a meteorite. All of a sudden, ❤️ golden love comes back into my inner being like a shooting star! I loved your article and I will follow your advice! “Forgive our past, find the Gold within it!!! Thank you 🙏 for your very beautiful wisdom!!!🎼🎵🎶⭐️🏆🥇

Angeliki Anastasia
Member

Conquer your soul. Shield your soul with gold🌹🌺🌈♥️❤️