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Finding Your Power. Restlessness. Fleeing. Reactivity. Centeredness. Psychological Stance.

Finding your power. Restlessness. Fleeing. Reactivity. Accepting the present. Calm. Centeredness. Psychological Stance.

Posted by Bryant McGill on Saturday, December 26, 2015

Finding Your Power. Restlessness. Fleeing. Reactivity.
Accepting the present. Calm. Centeredness. Psychological Stance.

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Bryant McGill

Bryant McGill is a human potential thought leader, international bestselling author, activist, and social entrepreneur.

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Bryant McGill
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Bryant McGill

Learn to love being told you are wrong or being insulted. Every insult is an opportunity. Being insulted offers you an opportunity to practice decency and having a non-response internally. When we are easily upset it is because we are internally unstable and unrefined spiritually. Any defensiveness is a sign of failure. You can’t move forward if you are defensive. If you do not like a certain behavior in others, look within yourself to find the roots of what discomforts you. The conflicts we have with the outside world are often conflicts we have within ourselves. Criticism is no threat to your self-esteem or identity, but rather informs you. You can’t see clearly through defensiveness. You can get to a place where you see clearly; that place is zero defensiveness. Take any concept you believe in deeply and say out loud, and with full conviction, that your dearest belief may be totally flawed. Say, “There is no doubt that I could be wrong.” If you cannot do this, then you do not possess the idea, the idea possesses you. Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are. An intelligent person is never afraid or ashamed to find errors in their understanding of things. The best practice is to be around people who absolutely disagree. Grace in conflict is a study in love.

Jerrene LaPointe
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Jerrene LaPointe

Thank you I needed that! Makes me think about all sorts of things! I take most things with a grain but some things sting a little more! I have to work on it.=) thanks.

Debbye Jones Merchant
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Debbye Jones Merchant

I was here on Wednesday night in this place ..in defense because of what was said to me..In regards something that was spoken directly to me..which I felt was like a thorn in my flesh..I did not handle it well..omnipotence of the statement launch a back and forth which ended with me walking out ..the words spoken to me was in front of a group…of my peers and the leader purposely did it to prove his point.I work very closely with person an felt it should have been a private discussion not a group one..in reading your post it has enabled me to put the incident in the proper perspective..πŸ˜‡

Suman Singh Thakuri
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Suman Singh Thakuri

Bryant McGill sir really its out standing internally fact criticism as well as Truth your positive. Conception .

Sophiia Taleii
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Sophiia Taleii

Thanks Bryant, wise words i can relate

Viviane Alvarenga
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Viviane Alvarenga

Yesterday you were mad with me Sorry !❀️❀️❀️

Wendi Lyn
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Wendi Lyn

The subject defensiveness was brought up in my Psychology books this past semester. I find defensiveness a form of immaturity and if a person can move the scale from immaturity to maturity that is when personal growth is prevalent in a person’s life. I work on my “defensive” awareness scale everyday. Linda Gonulsen has helped me in the area of non-reactiveness. I am the fire and she is the fire extinguisher. With that said, I am learning to be less reactive and reserving my energy. Bryant McGill and Jenni FB live talks are helping me and opening me up to embrace new concepts. Thank you to all and love and light! πŸ‘‘πŸ’•πŸ‘‘β™₯οΈπŸ’

Victoria Navaroli
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Victoria Navaroli

Well said. Bryant, I have been looking for the website you spoke about on your second webcast last night “being Royal”. You spoke about non-response etc. can you post this please. Greatly appreciated.

Scarlet Rote
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Scarlet Rote

Make this a meme

Daniela Shewfelt
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Daniela Shewfelt

Indeed

Estrellita Yurag
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Estrellita Yurag

wow!..
a good reminder..
love it…yes we are challenge to improve ourselves when we are insulted…we should rather thanks them for doing this coz we can see our weakest part..

Abanonu Chinwe Nd Iheanachor
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Abanonu Chinwe Nd Iheanachor
Lesli Paige Holmes
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Lesli Paige Holmes

All is awesome. Not sure I understand “best practice is to be around people who absolutely disagree” hmmm…yes good practice but shouldn’t we surround our selves with people who we admire to strive for more instead of sitting regularly with toxicity? Yes and no.

Cristina Valdez
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Cristina Valdez

Thank you Mr Bryant for your nice messages i love it. Merry Christmas Royal

Cristina Valdez
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Cristina Valdez

nice messages Mr Bryant thank you. Merry Christmas Royals

Lauren Dunbar
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Lauren Dunbar

Amazing!

Tonnete Antonette
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Tonnete Antonette

Beautiful.

Ekechukwu Chukwuemeka
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Ekechukwu Chukwuemeka

Your thoughts are thoughtful. Thanks.
Grant me your permission to curl.

Min Aung Uminaungmr
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Min Aung Uminaungmr
Lesa Nye
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Lesa Nye

OMG!!! this is the very idea,, I”ve been in training for,, and that”s incredibally awesome,, I”m just saying the greatest,,biggest,, many thank”s to the sweetest most beautiful teacher of the for now time i know.Life Lesson”s that hurt the most are the most worthwhile in becoming a somebody. I”m becoming a very happy girl.Hit me with your best shot.

Lora Markus
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Lora Markus

This is wht i really need right now

Loriebel A Naces
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Loriebel A Naces

Love this writing! πŸ’œ pls let me copy this, I want to post it on my q

Dulce Chika
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Dulce Chika

This just happened to me couple hours ago when a new friend said something to me like he can see me deeply and said things to me like he’d known me for years. And i reacted, good thing our conversation went a certain way where we talked further about my reaction and I realized I was reacting way too much. Our present life situations and the people around us are really our mirrors, our reflection. And there’s so much to learn every moment, even when we call some as boring moments, there’s still a lot to learn. Thank you Bryant for doing what you’re doing. πŸ™πŸ»

Harmeet Kaur Gulati
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Harmeet Kaur Gulati

So true…good advices for me

Angie JiJi Kenney
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Angie JiJi Kenney

I’ve been through Grace in conflict in real life. I learned many things while being mentally battered. I am grateful though to be in a quiet place to heal within myself. I had to leave for me. β€οΈπŸŒΊπŸ‘‘

Nancy Shata
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Nancy Shata

Thanks Bryant ❀ you are such a wonderful person. ❀
I love your words. ❀
Meery Christmas. ❀

Paras Ahluwalia
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Paras Ahluwalia

Jigisha AhluwaliaπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

M Sohail Riaz
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M Sohail Riaz

Samreen Sam you did try to know yourself!!
Or just speak like these beautiful words

Cassy Ace
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Cassy Ace

This is such a good lesson for me Sir Bryant…. thank you can i copy this to post in my timeline.. thanks so much Sir …. πŸ™‚ Happy New year … GodBless You Sir n Your Whole Family ….

Jagriti Jagdale
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Jagriti Jagdale

Wow…just how it should be !

Ning Mercado
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Ning Mercado

I know this and absolutely true. I usually quiet when the same situations occurred and just observed them; it gives me time to know these people internally. After all, they were speaking for themselves.😊

Myriam Pacardo
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Myriam Pacardo

wow its a wonderful word of wisdom!!! thank you

Min Opilas
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Min Opilas

i wish to achieve zero defensiveness πŸ™‚
specialy when pple calls me names and accuses me of being a…..*** bhe Ayla am i so bad πŸ™

Min Opilas
Guest
Min Opilas

Jiro Carael Camba
pls read πŸ™‚ more power!

Morrison Nxele
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Morrison Nxele

Powerful and wise words. It seems as if you were talking to me.

Neneng Mari Bulido Demonteverde
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Neneng Mari Bulido Demonteverde

Nice words…relate

Nitin Verma
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Nitin Verma

Agree with u

Jude Lynn
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Jude Lynn

Awesome..I needed this! TYπŸ’

Angelica Stepnik
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Angelica Stepnik

It’s funny how some days I’m going through something or battling a negative thought and you always have the right things to say to turn my mind around. Thank you

Samreen Sam
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Samreen Sam

Thats really true.amazing words encourage to know ourself.

Deidre Dukes
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Deidre Dukes

I love this, I feel you wrote it just for me. Something I really need to conquer in my life right now. Thank you.

Zainab Lee Tanko-Hamisu
Guest
Zainab Lee Tanko-Hamisu

Pls can I copy this and post on my wall? Thank you.

Mel Mel
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Mel Mel

Tahni Harper

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
β€” Lao Tzu

Amalee Cirilo
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Amalee Cirilo

Good to know

Chris Hanifan Woods
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Chris Hanifan Woods

,This is so true . Once again Thank you for helping and sharing!!!πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡

Linda Lund
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Linda Lund

Im learning by doing, going babysteps…..Thank you for having this lessons broadcast.

Frederica Elbourne
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Frederica Elbourne

Honey for us

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

Learning to master inner-calm and non-response to what seems like negativity is a life practice. When you release yourself from the need for approval and control you can stop punishing yourself and others. The fulcrum of resistance is in your mind where you pit yourself against the weight of the external. Release yourself from the struggle of emotional exertion that goes nowhere. No one can make you feel anything; you are completely responsible for how you feel. Until you quit participating in your pain, cooperating in your abuse and engaging in the contest, you will always be a part of other people’s games of torment and inner-suffering. Next time someone comes after you to fight, ask yourself in that moment, “who am I, and who do I choose to be?” Choose calm. Choose serenity. Choose independent confidence and sanity. Once you detach from conflict through non-engagement, you rise to a state of empowering calm awareness, empathy and safety.

Gloria Alonte Nomorosa
Guest
Gloria Alonte Nomorosa

Nice very well. Said ……relaxing

Gloria Alonte Nomorosa
Guest
Gloria Alonte Nomorosa

Good reaction yes shown your strength keep it up more power

Tracie Garman
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Tracie Garman

Thank you Bryant….Wonderful !!!
It all comes back to React/Respond and to know the difference ….

Chris Hanifan Woods
Guest
Chris Hanifan Woods

So wonderful the words are!!πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡ I will never engage in power over me. Or abuse, I’m not playing in the drama. I cry by myself and stay away from the drama. You and Jeni are so wonderful to share your time!!πŸ˜‡

Deborah Stark
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Deborah Stark

I really needed to read all of this, since I miss you live. How do I get a notice ahead of time, to hear you live?

Limor Argaman
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Limor Argaman

So tru

Cristina Valdez
Guest
Cristina Valdez

Yes, when we our hurt deep inside you will got sick. You know when i received the bad news regarding my husband was died, I never cry immediately, I think it is a joke but I pray to God please don’t do it to me please but when j took my shower I’m cry & cry my tears never stop fallen until my eyes got hurt & my head. Then I asked God please stop me crying & it dissappear until 1week after i saw his grave because I’m working in foreign country so god is with us always& forever

Daniela Shewfelt
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Daniela Shewfelt

So true

Abanonu Chinwe Nd Iheanachor
Guest
Abanonu Chinwe Nd Iheanachor
Lori Jubenville
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Lori Jubenville

Wow did I need to hear this today. It’s exactly how I need to be in the current situation I am in. Ending a 7 yr relationship. Tough. Can’t take the arguments. I keep telling myself not to react and keep calm. It’s very hard but I believe if I stay aware I can accomplish anything. It is a life practice. Thank you I am going to read this again and again!

Jas Dhaliwal
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Jas Dhaliwal

Thks Bryant for giving me such good insight in keeping calm

Adela Follante
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Adela Follante

Thank you. Very informative

Saima Liaqat
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Saima Liaqat

πŸ‘

Oliviah Pearl
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Oliviah Pearl

Absolutely

Cassy Ace
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Cassy Ace

Thank you Sir Bryant.. i always had this feeling to be calm.. seems that what was im doing is correct so i need to practice it more n more now .. thanks.. a learn & live advice .. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Morrison Nxele
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Morrison Nxele

Thank you Bryant McGill, I’m learning a lot on how to handle myself.

Min Opilas
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Min Opilas

thank you mr McGill
u r a great help to enlightenment

Min Opilas
Guest
Min Opilas

yeah. its so hard keeping oneself calm.
my mom died a year ago she was in our home province and am 5hrs away.upon recievng the news i was teary eyed.but when am home and in front of my family and relatives i didn’t burst into tears even its so painful inside. feel like heart bursting but need to show strength cause am the eldest among eight siblings and the eholr family need strength to go trough until funeral.. i chanted hrs to set my mind and allow things to flow cause losing a mom is not something acceptable ..

Xavier Harris
Guest
Xavier Harris

FeeLs good walking in these words you’re sharing @BryantMcGill .. it’s taken years of walking #into this calm, lol, it’s certainly nice being here haha

Rhiannon Lynn
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Rhiannon Lynn

You really dont know how bad I needed to read this tonight thanksπŸ˜“

Imelda Villar Mabale Bonje
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Imelda Villar Mabale Bonje

Its a great pleasure to know you both ….you spread love love love to all God bless to both of u!

Nitin Verma
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Nitin Verma

True

Bryant McGill
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Bryant McGill

“The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.”
β€” Albert Camus

Stacey Webster
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Stacey Webster

We always say “ok, you be right and I will be healthy “

Angie JiJi Kenney
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Angie JiJi Kenney

That puts my ex in perspective! πŸ˜–

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

A great deal of defensiveness stems from the need to be right and frustration over not being able to control. This is why defensiveness is a component of suppressed violence within oneself; it is violent to wish to control others. We only have a defensive response when we are trying to protect some inner-territory or some belief. The earthquake of discomfort you feel moving inside of you when someone insults you is your own insecurity. Defensiveness often has little to do with what another person has said, but rather with your ego. It is only your weak, approval-seeking self that is throwing a tantrum for agreement. Most upset is a fear of rejection. Defensiveness and emotional tumult is often a fear response because of your need for acceptance and ruthless control of the territory of your safe fantasy world. Real strength only comes from vulnerability, not toughness. Only true vulnerability can set you free from the anxiety of painful insecurity. Openness is free and flowing β€” it is a dance, while being closed-off is protective and unmovable. Negative feelings can only exist through your resistance. As you quit resisting they diminish. When you emotionally stand aside from the attack, negative feelings pass by you like a charging bull. When you realize that the defensive feeling you have is a response to your resistance, you are free in that moment.

Lisa Betz
Guest
Lisa Betz

i have been practicing this with my children for a few years now and it works a dream…….recently i have been using it at work and in social situation and it works nicely for me there too……..to stay yourself and intact without being influenced/drawn in by others emotions and thoughts..just hugely empowering to the soul

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

“Pause and rememberβ€” Do not run from criticism. Criticism can be one of your greatest guides and teachers if you can just learn to not run from it.”
β€” Jenni Young

Rose Lyn Balicdang Murray
Guest
Rose Lyn Balicdang Murray

Very much trueπŸ‘

NanDar HhOo
Guest
NanDar HhOo

right
it made me stronger πŸ™‚

Lauralee Smyth
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Lauralee Smyth

Yes Jenni we can learn from critisidm😊

Nitin Verma
Guest
Nitin Verma

Positive really

Mike Strutter
Guest
Mike Strutter

Constructive criticism

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are.

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill
Shirley Bathauer
Guest
Shirley Bathauer

Thank you

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

People can only have power over you if you are seeking to have power over others. You are only plagued with stress in moments of common petty conflict because you are arrogant, and believe others are transgressing by having unfavorable thoughts about you. Another person’s thoughts about you are outside of your jurisdiction; you have no authority. You have fantasies about you being right, and about them being wrong, or that there is an injustice or an attack. Sometimes a perceived attack can seem very real, when it is really just your insistence or resistance. When someone is attacking you, they are coming to you for advice. How you react advises them. What advice will you give them? They likely may not know they are seeking advice, but you advise them nonetheless. You can teach an attacker many things through your response. Your boundaries may teach them they are not permitted to treat you disrespectfully. Your permissiveness may teach them to continue hurting you. Your calm and wise response may make sense to them many years later as they grow and heal. Perhaps your example will be steps in their ascension to respect and virtue. Has anyone ever helped you in your ascension to virtue? Perhaps you have been cruel or said something mean and someone responded to your attack with kindness or calm, which later caused you to feel bad or ashamed about your actions. That was someone giving advice to their attacker β€” you. When you wrestle with foolish people, you tie them tighter into the knot of their ignorance, hate and disrespect. But kindness and openness create an atmosphere where people feel safe to learn and change without judgement. Kindness teaches kindness; self-respect teaches self-respect. This is part of the meaning of “actions speak louder than words” or “leading by example.” You are instructing everyone at every moment with your every action; in this way we are all role models. You are much more than merely a response to external stimuli. By choosing to have a calm response to what seems negative, you bring clarity and balance to your message. People not only learn from what you say, but how you say it. Each reaction we have helps us inspect ourselves by revealing parts of our own nature to ourselves; it is never about others. And remember, when you are speaking to someone else you are really speaking only to yourself. Everything you say to someone else is for your clarity, not theirs β€” you are presenting yourself, to yourself, for yourself at every moment.

Wendi Lyn
Guest
Wendi Lyn

Sir Bryant, You always make me go one step further in my thinking and reasoning. Thank you. ❀️

Christine Rivera
Guest
Christine Rivera
Christine Rivera
Guest
Christine Rivera
Christine Rivera
Guest
Christine Rivera

very well said thank you so much bryant and jenny.

CeeCee Barrington
Guest
CeeCee Barrington

Bryant, Jenni and many here know my story…I am so much better than I was just a few months ago. I thank you all for being so supportive and wonderful through my difficult journey. I am much calmer than I was..and I am safe. Thank you Royals! πŸ‘‘πŸ‘‘

Wendi Lyn
Guest
Wendi Lyn

We shed old skin everyday when we are learning and growing. πŸ‘‘πŸ’•πŸ‘‘

Wendi Lyn
Guest
Wendi Lyn

You are here and that is what’s important. Your courageous soul and strength overwhelms. Keep moving forward…six months and a year from now you will have shed old skin and be well on your way to a new life.

CeeCee Barrington
Guest
CeeCee Barrington

Wendi Wiz Eckert …Thank you. I am still at the beginning of this change..but I am in therapy as Bryant and Jenni suggested and am watching as many videos as I can. I also got Bryants books and have been reading them as well as books on abuse. I am safe thanks to the kindness of some local people and while still in hiding for now…I have decided that this is my chance to be truly centered and to move forward positively. I am a good person and always have been…I will get through the loss of all my possessions and house..I am still here though…and that is more important than possessions. It hurts…but I feel it and move on. I will start over…i believe it will be better and I continue now to share my love with others. I will hopefully grow each day. It was the Royals and Bryant and Jenni who by telling me to stay here, make friends with all of you Royals, and get therapy that helped me take the first steps. Believe me when i say…I nearly did not make it. I am so glad I found you all and that the Universe/God sent good energy my way. I appreciate you. <3

Wendi Lyn
Guest
Wendi Lyn

CeeCee Barrington, I am so happy for you! Be well and see you soon in the Royal auditorium! πŸ‘‘πŸ’•πŸ‘‘

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

People can only have power over you if you are seeking to have power over others.

Mari Wells
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Mari Wells

That, is powerful!!!!!

Anel Montez
Guest
Anel Montez

I would like to know what given power to somebody? Is it mean paying to much attention to what others think about me.

Jen Stanford
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Jen Stanford

Yes
I give them power
How do I stop
HELP

Francine R. LaGreca Donahue
Guest
Francine R. LaGreca Donahue

No one should have power over another – especially when it is abusive

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

BeRoyal.com

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

Any defensiveness is a sign of failure. You can’t move forward if you are defensive.

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

If you do not like a certain behavior in others, look within yourself to find the roots of what discomforts you.

Binte Zahra
Guest
Binte Zahra

Mostly its within ourselves

Francine R. LaGreca Donahue
Guest
Francine R. LaGreca Donahue

The control that some need to have over others –

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill

“If the whole world rejected you and you didn’t believe any of your thoughts about it, you’d be completely at peace.”
β€” Byron Katie

Bryant McGill
Guest
Bryant McGill
Ken Chong
Guest
Ken Chong

Those who explode and insult you are unable to deal with their internal conflicts between what they believe in which may be very far from reality. What is the norm? Is there a collective?

Michelle Beber
Guest
Michelle Beber

You always have a choice in how to behave. #BeRoyal

Leslie Beth Hartsog-Addison
Guest
Leslie Beth Hartsog-Addison

Silence is sometimes the best option but always be aware people probably know your Triggers. So, know that in advance before you react. Sometimes that is a manipulative tactic someone uses to make you look bad and it’s easy to play right into what they wanted and they win

NanDar HhOo
Guest
NanDar HhOo

Be aware πŸ™‚

Lalie Nieto
Guest
Lalie Nieto

Do not learn how to react, learn how to respond…Buddha

Wendi Lyn
Guest
Wendi Lyn

Nice!πŸ‘‘πŸ’•πŸ‘‘