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Experience is the Hardest Kind of Teacher

Everything and everyone has something to teach us in this life, without exception.

“Experience is the hardest kind of teacher.  It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.” — Oscar Wilde

I truly believe that everything and everyone has something to teach us in this life, without exception.

I’ve learned, in earnest, to become aware of how interconnected we all are and how important and life-changing each new moment can be.

We are born innocent and beautiful and ready to explore; I see this first-hand with my own son. The world is open to us to feel into and learn from. New experiences await us at each turn: experiences that shape us, shock us, heal us, inspire us. And then something happens, as we age into our lives, into the machines of society. That wanderlust and sense of wildness and exploration is tamped down. Extinguished. In favor of time-clocks and labels and exams and judgments and approximations of all that we are, by people who know absolutely nothing about us. And we lean into these lives, we become these people, following the crowd to school, to college, to work, into debt, into retirement, and then death. It sounds somber, but this is the norm for many, many lives. And I’m talking about the privileged ones, the ones who’ve got it made and can basically do what they want, if they make up their minds to. Outside of this life of monotony and privilege though, are inspiring individuals who are born into oppression and corruption, abuse and poverty, and manage to rise above circumstance and make huge moves toward changing not just their world, but our entire way of being. They change the way we do Life, while so many trudge through, disgruntled and miserable about having to sit in traffic for a few minutes. I see a big imbalance here.

It’s in our conditioning, our way of life:

  • We go to school and then college because we’re supposed to
  • We settle down into a relationship because we’re expected to
  • We abandon dreams and desires because we must grow up
  • We abandon creative impulse in favor of routine and job security
  • We have children and decide to stop living our own lives and live solely through them

We wake up one day and wonder…what happened?

None of these things are bad, not at all. I loved going to college, it was an awakening to other worlds for me, at the time. Women’s Studies classes helped me to find my voice and lengthy papers put me back in touch with a love for writing and for genealogy. Marriage can be wonderful for many people, and children are a miracle. What I’m talking about though, is the mindless abandonment of Self in the pursuit of these endeavors; these mile-markers of life as we know it.

When we settle too deeply into a new routine, be it schooling or a relationship or a career… and we get too still… we can become stagnant, which can lead to boredom and bitterness. When we cease to gain experiences, we stop learning. We become stuck, we’re no longer moving. Experience is a hard teacher, but a vital one. The key to happiness in any part of our lives is to keep uncovering, evolving, learning, and rediscovering. To stay awake, alive, alert, and adapt when we need to.

And then what happens when we get what we want, only to have the glow wear off?

This can apply to anything, to any desire that we have. And it’s because the achievement closes the adventure of gaining new experiences. When we are on path to a goal, when we are pursuing a passion, we become lit up from within. We become luminous and open to the elements, to every challenge and obstacle in our path, to every magical moment of serendipity and synchronicity. And we are tested, time and again. We get to discover more of who we are and what we’re made of. We become aware and sensitive to much more than ourselves. We…learn. And in that learning, we evolve and grow. When we arrive at our destination and get what we want, we are no longer traveling. Repetitive experiences can soften and become muted, our senses can become dulled again, and we can drift back into that state of disconnected numbness. We can go back to watching our lives, instead of living in them — fiercely, openly, passionately, on purpose. With purpose. 


When my marriage fell apart, a huge piece of my identity fell away.

I knew that there were far worse things that could happen in life, and they do, so I was blessed with that perspective and it kept me moving forward. But even still, the road to rebuilding a sense of Self is wrought with obstacles and boulder-sized tests that smack us hard, in the face. And when we climb over those boulders, or around them… we realize that we’ve learned something invaluable. We get to see how strong we really are. How much we can stand. We get to decide who we really are and what we want out of life. I wouldn’t have fallen so deeply in love with writing again, for example, if life hadn’t taken that turn. I wouldn’t have found new ways of eating and educating myself about real food and natural medicine. I wouldn’t have experienced the awe of authentic spirituality, of inner peace, of intuition and inner guidance. I’ve become a better and more devoted mother and more compassionate human being, in general, despite my life “falling apart.”

It’s rather amazing, looking back, to the days where the ground beneath me felt so shaky that I thought I might just fall through and never return.

Seeking kind eyes in the strangest of places just to be able to keep going. And they were there, make no mistake. They’re everywhere, if you have the eyes to look. And now, knowing so much more of who I am, what I want and need out of life, what I believe and feel…it’s an entirely new way of being that I’m grateful for every day. Everything happens for a reason. A major life change like divorce, is quite a test of faith, resilience, patience, surrender, and self-acceptance. But come through these, with an open mind, and you will learn more about yourself and the journey of life than you’d ever imagine. It’s not easy, but the wisdom gained, the YOU that you get to be, is irreplaceable.

So… if you’ve just come through a huge obstacle, or life change, or you’ve accomplished something great, then feel proud.

Acknowledge that, it’s amazing. Not everyone can and not everyone does. And be sure to rest and replenish, for you’ve got more walking to do. Each adventure should end at the beginning of a new one if we want to continue to learn and absorb and grow, in this life. Choose to always find new experiences and you will never stop learning. After all, that’s why we’re here.

Get out there, live your life, and make mistakes. Keep learning. It’s worth it.

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Stacie Hammond

Stacie Hammond is a public reference librarian by day and a writer by night, and enjoys empowering women to live their best, most fulfilling lives. Ana J. Awakens is her first published novel. She keeps a blog and contributes to other lifestyle and inspirational websites, on occasion. She lives on the North Shore of Long Island, New York, and is Mommy to an amazing little boy. She is loving life while busy working on her next project.

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30 Comments on "Experience is the Hardest Kind of Teacher"

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Tina Worley
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Tina Worley

Mentoring. Simple advice not really criticisms. . when a person feels overwhelmed or focusing on what works and what does not work. Getting advice from a peer can help.

Omar njie
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Omar njie

OK am seachin for a lover to help mi am poor in Africa the place call Gambia is in west Africa

Akiroq Brost
Member

I truly believe this as well. It is just a matter of how we choose to look at things. I love this: “The world is open to us to feel into and learn from. New experiences await us at each turn: experiences that shape us, shock us, heal us, inspire us.” We could apply to that how we look at each and every day. Open mind, and open heart. We are so much stronger and more capable than we think. Our resilience is just amazing. We really need to celebrate ourselves more! All of life is never ending learning, with the goal of our betterment, and an increased quality of life for ourselves. Thank you for this encouraging article Stacie. <3

patricia jackson
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patricia jackson

I worked for several years at a full time job raised my daughter. went to college. after twelve years at same job I started experiencing depression. after twelve years I lost the job went on unemployment. soon after I got a job taking care of an elderly lady in her home. I really enjoyed it and the hours were flexible so I could go to all my daughter’s events. I was always in fear that if something happened to her what would I do? where would I work? I worried a lot about it. so in 2007 I went to a small college. while still working. In 2009 I graduated and was so proud of myself and thought my future was secure. in 2009 my daughter was 20 she moved out only 20 minutes away, but to me it was like halfway across the world. she was my whole identity, I raised her, always looked forward to all her school events, sports etc. It was like my only purpose was to be a mom. I missed her all the time just having her there and knowing she needed me made me feel happy. I didn’t want to deal or accept the fact she grew up. I also kept searching and searching for jobs. I went to a temp agency they would not hire me because I had a dwi from 2005. I had to do something so I took a job at Burger King. the boss was not pleasant and I thought I would of definetly found a job with my degree. my mental health got worse, along with drinking, I met a guy who I took drugs with. I was deeply depressed my daughter was gone, my past was haunting me so it was such a waste to even go to college, which was devastating to me, I such high expectations. I was suicidal a lot, and keep rolling the dice with life. my choices and life got worse, I ended up I jail, getting ssd for my mental health cause it was so severe I couldn’t work. I ended up in a very abusive relationship, fearing all the time for my life. he did two jail sentences I put up with so much mental and physical emotional pain, that I cant tell you complete terror. with great support that I kept in was the key to me staying alive and Turning it over to God’s hands. I had not given up hope completely cause I was reaching out going to wonderful support groups etc. when I finally left my ex. I had ptsd very bad, my mental heath was still so bad but I had so much to work on with fear anger shame regret, I did not love myself or really trust anyway. I fell down a lot but still kept with my support I had a glimpse of hope. i ended up getting in a bad fight with my daughter i loved her the most and hurt her the most . my feelings and emotions were just all over the place. i was so angry and sad.. i thought i ruined the relationship with my daughter the person i love most in this world . my hope i was in and out of hospitals , i couldn’t bear the thought of my daughter not being in my life. i was devasted i was existing. maybe it is called an ephiany i started to think differently that my daughter and loved ones would be devasted if i where gone. and all my daughter ever wanted is to see me well. she deserved this at the very least. at my lowest point i changed my environment stayed in therapy, went through a lot of falls but got back up again. it was very difficult at times, but i wanted my daughter to see me well. i got to know myself forgive myself and love myself. I had Great Faith in God. i was more spiritual than in all of my life. i know when i put it in God’s hands i will be okay. through all of this.. i have peace today in joy! it is the best feeling in the world. i can be true to myself. I AM TRULY BLESSED AND GRATEFUL FOR MY GIFT OF LIFE FOR MY LOVED ONES, AND START TO APPRECIARE MORE AND MORE. I HAVE FOUND A PASSION IN LIFE I WANT TO MAKE IT A GREAT PASSIONS AND KEEP LEARNING AND GROWING EVERY DAY ON THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE. I AM BLESSED WITH A SECOND CHANCE MANY PEOPLE DO NOT GET THAT. I WAS SO SELFISH NOW I AM SO SEFLESS. HEALING MY HEART HELPS ME TO INSPRIRE AND HELP OTHER. I HAVE GOALS AND DREAMS THAT I WILL ALWAYS KEEP REACHING FOR. DONT EVER GIVE UP BECAUSE IT IS MY GREATEST TRADGEIES AND STIRUGGLES THAT GO ME TO WHERE I AM TODAY. THOSE PAST EXPERINCES WHICH I THOUGHT WOULD KILL ME THEY MADE ME FEEL MORE ALIVE THAN EVER. NEVER GIVE UP! EVERYHTING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I WORK ON LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND HOPEFULLY INSPRIRING OTHERS!

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

Gail Liming
Guest
Gail Liming

Thank you for such an inspirational article. And yes we all are interconnected. Our experiences in life do shape us, shock us, inspire us and heal us. Experience is a hard teacher but a vital one. I personally have come through much of what was mentioned in my lifetime, but came out on top as the winner, determined not to be the loser. I learned some really hard-won lessons from it all too, which in the end made me wiser, learning never to repeat the same mistake twice. And was it really a mistake? I ask myself. I did what I did simply because I couldn’t live watching somebody destroying their life anymore. It all came together as the perfect plan that I could only see after I left the situation I was in. My life has continued to grow after that and I found a deeper more meaningful relationship with the Redeemer of mankind. And I did what I did all in the name of LOVE for my children, and LOVE for myself.

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

Vasudevan Bhattathir
Member

this is a very good article . I always believe that experiences in life specially bad and unfavorable one’s are teaching us more than good and pleasant ones we always learn more in bad experiences and this is Divine method of testing our rediness for moving forward in our spiritual progress . when a person finds no means of solving his problems he tuns his mind towards Divine . till that time he is after pleasure hunting
Thank you for bringing out such a good article

Arelis Maciel
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Arelis Maciel

Life tried to knock me on my a** 4 years ago as I was dx’d with invasive breast cancer. Boy, talk about being strong. This was the hardest battle I have had to fight, but yes, God gave me the wisdom and strength to do just that. I took the bull by the horns and stepped foot on that ground every single day of this long ride (some ride). My complete focus was to beat this evil living inside of me, because my 2 beautiful daughters still needed me in their lives. I also wanted to show them their mommy was not going sit around and become a victim and a survivor. Praising God every single for my resilience, determination to keep going strong. Praising him for my life and another chance. Cancer, you tried to knock me down hard, but I kicked you harder.

Antoinettetonimarie625
Member

Great article! Great comments! I, too went through
a divorce, and I continue to read and l learn so
much about myself. Yes, it has felt like climbing
Mt. Everest, but my Faith in God, He has continually pulled me through horrible circumstances
and He has brought forth good that before
was so bad. I am learning who I am, that I
never would have learned had I stayed in the
destructive marriage I was in. I’m amazed at
55, the wonderful loving supportive people
God brings into my life. My life really is
starting at 55. I’m trying to take a day at
a time and see where God leads me. It’s
exciting to learn and grow every day!

Omar njie
Guest
Omar njie

I love you I need a lover hello can I have some one to love an help

Robina fazal
Member

Thanks!Stacie Dear❤💐💐💐for a lovely inspiring article..I do had a mishap.. in life that motivate me to focus on myself..love myself more..care myself more..to lead a strong life.. I had a mishap of divorce.. I loved my husband so much.. we care for each other.. so much..issue raised baby birth was bit late..i was young girl…with health and enthusiasm..he can wait a bit but in anger one day without any Solid reason put the divorced papers..in my hands.wht I should say when done is done..I moved to my pappa house…and after I came to him..after two years my Mom died of sudden heart attack.. younger brother and pappa were alone.. So I tried my best to deal the whole house systems.. and took care of pappa and brother..as pappa was a in his profession he demands from me to be at home and take care of all..Systems.. brother got upset after Moms death…he needs my care too..So that was the period that turned my life…as I have to deal like a Man…pappa trusts me a lot…I feel if you are mentaly physically stròng you can lead life with courage I focused my exercises…my personal activities to get busy even at home..but whenever need for me to deal the outdoors I did my best..i feel to take care of pappa more he was heart patient ..and always cared about his diets…his medicines…his walk timings..rest timings..as he always have me permission to do my exercises and my activities.. at home he knew she takes care of health. And write and learn….so will be a Strong woman one day.. he always want my resistance to be maintained in life…my proper routines..my prayers . My exercises..I brought me up like a boy…but he always expect me to do good for myself but don’t cross my limitations.. remain positive and productive.. That’s my Pappas greatness.. but during that period when a lot responsibilities and works I had to deal…as dealing all family members..all…home chores..managing ladies.. club.productice activities.. I got some time upset.. where my life..so as I have to deal my duties..i commited to..but didn’t dishearted I always…manage time for myself…for my routines..so as I have to deal my life by living and caring.. and honouring it…although in that long period I had to sacrifice my time…and life..but I was always hope that one day I’ll be ready for my life I’ll make my dreams come true..my wishes come true.. so I always be active..but becoming strong by praying..meditations..exercises..and other healthful activities..that can a source of more positive energy to lead my future life with dignity.. self worth…and challenging goals…The journey took quite long…but as I am now in the Royal Society.. ❤👑💐From two years..and with the Simple reminder groups too now..Thanks to Sir Bryant..Mam Jenni.and all my Sweet Royals for their love care and compassion.. they introduce me to a platform..The Royal Society ..❤👑Through which I am linked with lovely Souls all over the world.. and my mission in future is to work for them.. to let the Souls in ease..love them..Support them.. I hope so I’ll get the chance…..Thanks…to all…one thing in the last..we learned a lot in life..but real life is to let our lives healthy and Sound for our own selves..but wht we learned let the other Souls take full benefit from our experiences and learning ..it’s the best life we can have…❤💐💐💐Amen..

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

💓💓💓

Djaffar Mohamed
Guest
Djaffar Mohamed

Life may have you got in hardship and pain may have filled your heart its fullest. Any sense of hope seems to melt away but when you believe that with God nothing is vain, when you try to see things with the heart instead the eyes, you’ll realize that all of it was only a very short scene of storm from a long beautiful story! So, no matter how dark seems the day, keep moving forward and let God’s Voice guide you through the darkness! There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel! May Allah bless us forever!
Thank you so very much for that beautiful article!

Suzan
Guest
Suzan

It is true that everyone or everything has something to teach us ,sometimes I get inspiration and lessons from watching for example wild life documentary movie about animals because every kind of them has his individual characters which is not similar to others kinds ,we could learn from natural geographies like sea ,mountain’s ,trees ….etc , so keep learning every day and in every stage of our life we have to look deeply in essence of things and situations ,sometimes we face challenges or difficulties which hurt us but turns in the end to something good and for our advantage so we have to never give up ,very good article

baya elbey
Member

great article worth to be read and shared thank you.

Mary Rose Vojtko
Member

Hi there!
Great article!
As a 46 yo, starting over as a divorced single Mom, looking for a career, this hits home. My entire life, I had played it safe. As a child, I went in directions that pleased my teachers and parents. As an adult, I did what I was taught and lived an extremely unfulfilling life. Now, I can see that the only way to grow is to do what seems the hardest. It’s taking the classes that scare you. It’s trying the sport that always frightened you. It’s saying No when youve always said yes. It’s not caring what others think about you. I have a group of friends who love to drink regularly, for instance. It has been boring me for a while, but I’d go out and drink. I’d feel like crap for several days, sometimes realizing I had said or done something stupid, and always felt unproductive. Now, I don’t go. I even tell them why. Since I’ve embraced “me,” so many people have come into my life who are more like me, more compatible to my interests and future goals. Also, I’ve learned so much from people whom I never thought I’d ever be interested in knowing. I am actually a big nerd, I’ve discovered. I follow so many scientists, authors, and futurists. It excites me. Social media mkt excites me, strangely. I hated social media mkt, before. Now, the psychology behind it is enthralling. I talk to strangers all day long, hoping to have an interesting crazy conversation, maybe learn something about another culture. I try to make better people out of catfish. In the past, it would have scared me to talk to strangers on social media. They may steal my identity or hack into my accounts, I’d worry. In fact, i was scared of a lot of things. Pushing through these fears has opened my heart up to so many cultures around the world whom I used to be uncomfortable around. I began growing. I filled my social media up with nothing but positive people, from all over the world, from whom I knew I could learn and be inspired. I started back at school for teaching, but with the help of others, i realized I was more interested in other areas. I decided I wanted to do several things, not just one thing, anyway. It’s a process, but I’m learning. Figuring out our passions, what makes us tick, and what we can give back to the world, our purpose, is what drives me, now. I don’t let the status quo sway me. I’m swayed by what interests me and by how I can make the world a better place…and I keep moving forward.

Jo Davis
Member

Stacie! Love that this article is something every one of us can relate to! New beginnings and starting over. I embrace the messy art of “unbecoming” who we never were to begin with. It’s so exciting and seems to occur in layers. Like peeling off heavy winter clothes after a long winter stuck in the house. Lol! It is so liberating! Love it! Thank you for sharing! XOXO

RaneyWilkins
Member

Hi, I’ve had plenty of Life Lessons beginning a a young age when I nearly had failure to thrive (or so I’ve been told). I was the favorite ~ think jealousy like in Joseph’s time in the OT when his siblings sold him into slavery. Well I wasn’t sold, I was abandoned (emotionally). I was the “baby”, and I was about 85 to 90% socially isolated due to where and how my parents chose to live. The beauty in it all though was that I learned how to be close to God and learned where and how God is ~ He,She,Universe,HigherPower lives in each and every one of our hearts. As a result of negative, there’s never enough programming and a plethora of bad examples in which to follow, I’ve dpent many a year with pain and suffering. I don’t quite yet know what I do enjoy. What I do though very well is exist with nature. I talk to the birds, squirrels, even spiders. I tell the frogs how beautiful they are. This private life I have, others do or would think I’m quite crazy. I’ve even been medically diagnosed that way but it’s not true. I’m adapting to not one soul being able or wanting to help me carry my load and as a result I’m learning that aloneness is a good thing. I’m not constrained by what others feel is urgent…like shaving my legs (I’m quite grateful for the hair because a symptom of low thyroid is hair loss…or it could be a symptom of hyperthyroidism. Idk. It’s just that what others society thinks means very little to me. I’m a born leader. And I’m still alive to tell of it. I am a determined individual. To date I have achieved my associates degree (over a 10 year period of time). Good news coming from a school system that in 1978 graduated 8 individuals (I was 3rd of 8 in standing). Survival was my game and doing pre surly as I wanted (which usuallly was not in doing my best to learn their way). Socially I was a wreck… still am really but I don’t give a crap ~ I like and love myself precisely as I am/and was. And if this isn’t 100%true what is true that I’ll spend my last few years here making it 100% true. The journey folks is within. It matters not what others think. It matters immensely what YOU think and feel. Feeling follows thinking (all 66,000 thoughts daily) and thinking follows feeling. I do believe it to be slightly easier to change the thinking b4 the feeling (from my vantage point). And the best time to do this is the first little bit in the morning sndvthe last little bit st night before sleep. Think of these 2 times as a sort of portal to feeling better. Use YouTube a lot ~ there’s lots there to guide you into better being ~ it’s my best friend because as I see it, I have none, except me (and God). Be well and prosper ALL, at least emotionally. There’s no real advantage in mediocrity. ❤️ Spoken without the double negative ~ all is to be gained by giving life your all!❤️❤️

Karra Theodora
Member

Life teaches us hard lessons. I learn and experience some of them. I was betrayed by friends in the past. I always believed that those people were my tribe. I invested on them, i loved them with all my heart and when things went rough they disappeared just like that. I used to confess them my deepest fears and then they used them against me. More specifically, i had business problems, i was working in the past around a hostile environment and i faced a lot of problems with my colleagues and the management. So i used to confess all to my friends. I was encouraged to give my resignation and leave from that job as fast as i can. That’s what i did. Unfortunately, things did not go right as i expected. I gave my resignation and i was off work for at least 3 years. You guessed right. When i resigned, my friends went so excited and i thought well yes they are absolutely right, i should have done that a long time ago. But things went from bad to worse. The abscence of my job made me a food to the dogs. I didn’t have money so i couldn’t hang around with my friends. Noone got my back. In fact, my friends blamed me for my hardships and they just abandoned me when i most needed them. That was a lesson of a lifetime!! Now i know that these people were not my friends but they were friends in disguise. But i thank them every time because they learned me how to stand on my own feet without depending on anyone.

virginia
Member

Thanks Stacey. …
Wisdom=living in the moment with a Positive attitude!
Adversities should Not be an obstacle!
For me that is…..
To look at life Not thur Rose colored glasses! ??
But thur Eyes Wide Open to this Big Beautiful World and the Positive people and Inspiration of each Awesome and Different person in Our lives. If there is someone in Darkness and you cannot seem to help them come to a better and positive place then Walk away… Negative Vibes or Ora does bring yourself down . Wait too long and you, yourself will be submerged into the darkness of Negativity. My lesson in life is to Center YOURSELF! !
YOU CAN NOT HELP anyone until you FIND You!!
Peace, love, Positive lite & Additude, Many live Vibes.

Beatrice Hernandez
Member

So easy for so many of us who have experienced life altering events…
You truly captured what so many have or will experience in their lives..
Inspiring and filled with logical ways to reach a new level of peace when your life has been changed..
The saying when handed lemons make lemonade could be a simple way of explaining what you have done.
You created a new life for your child and yourself.
You have reached out and are helping others come to
start a new life…
Thank you for sharing.

KarenOToole
Member

Thank you Stacie. This is exactly what I needed to read at this point in my life, it brought tears to my eyes because it feels so true. Thank you for taking the time to write such a beautiful inspiring piece, and for inspiring me to get out there and life my life in this new chapter. I finally realize I am ready!

Thomas Sutherland
Guest
Thomas Sutherland

Dear Stacy, you have captured the true meaning of life. You have experienced things the hard way, such as myself, and have been able to find the magic of this world. You and I and so many others have risen above defeat and have carved a life of happiness and joy for ourselves. Surrounded by people who love us for our wisdom and courage. Congratulations on being the Great mother that you are . Your story is uplifting and incouraging. Love and respect to you and yours.😊😊

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

Love this , Stacie.
Experience = Wisdom
Grow and glow 🌟
When we truly grow through our experiences we can be grateful for them and all the wiser.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Angeliki Anastasia
Member

Wowwwwww Stacie!!! Incredible, heartwarming, very truthful piece of Magnificence!!! I applaud All Mommies, but especially the Ones who struggle on their Own!!! Congratulations on your Great Success Stacie and your Magical Miracle of Wisdom, that really touched my heart and Soul!!! Your Son or Sun 🌞 is soooooo beautiful just like his Gorgeous Mommy!!!❤️❤️♥️🏆🏆🏆🏆🥇🥇🥇🥇⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌹🌹🌹💎💎💎💕💕

Sole
Member

Wow this is the best article. Thanks for sharing and definitely to be shared on my page💕

Barbara Vercruysse
Member

Thank you so much for your wonderful article!!! Insightful and inspiring!! Sharing on my page <3