Most of our lives we are taught and learn very well to live according to the expectations that others set for us.
When I say “others” I am referring to all the people in our lives who we love, respect and who we believe have our best interest in mind. As children this is an invaluable and important part of the process of growth and development. However, the truth of the matter is that whether we like it or not, the evolutionary process of human development dictates that we don’t remain children, teenagers and young adults all of our lives.
For this we can be grateful.
Although honestly speaking, there are those times in our lives as adults when we wish we could be children once again. Of course it’s actually those innocent and carefree aspects of being children that we long for from time to time.
As we move through the different stages of our lives, we all do a bit of changing over time; some of us much more than others.
As we reflect on how we change over time, life often beckons us to remember the simple truth that “the only thing constant in life is change.” Life is fluid and change is inevitable. So it should come as no surprise to us that over time, as we are tempered by our own varied life experiences, the expectations and desires we once had change over time as well.
As we grow and mature in our lives, let us have the courage to embrace and honor our changed expectations and desires.
And let us do so even when we realize they are now different from those we received and adopted for ourselves from others in our life who may have meant us well. Let us instead expect that there will come a time in our lives when we will have to choose to embrace and honor our true selves and our different and changed life expectations and desires. Even when we know fully well that they no longer line up with what others expected for and from us.
And herein lies the encouragement and motivation for you to “have courage”.
Have the courage required to be true to who and how you are in the world no matter what. Have the courage to live your life according to your current expectations and desires that your life experiences have now created for you. And remember always, that those in your life who truly love and respect you will continue to do so although in some instances the relationship may change a bit because remember, you have changed a bit. (Side note: this of course is excluding the chance that your new expectations and desires include bringing harm to yourself and or others, in that case all bets are off and you can expect that your relationships with others are going to change swiftly and drastically as they should might I add! I’m just saying). Otherwise dear reader, choose to make peace with all the aspects of your “changed” and “different” self.
I really don’t no much of anything anymore. I’m 43 going through one of the hardest times in my life…key word..one of…I just feel so lost. A fiancé that really doesn’t help do much at to make me laugh or smile or just cheer me up. I don’t talk to any friends anymore. My family lives far. I feel like I’m screaming inside. Dealing with chronic pain….
Off work on disability for 4 yrs.
I don’t remember my childhood…
Abuse from what I do remember
Sexual assaults
Rape
List goes on…..
Great article! I used to dislike change, even though we are in constant change as we live our lives. Now I am embracing change and have high hopes for the future!
Beautiful article I enjoyed reading it.
I learned from life that wishes or desires could be changed, for example the wishes of kids 👶🧒are defferant from the wishes of teenagers 👧👦or adults👩👨, because life is changing and there are special needs for every stage of our life ,so our wishes or expectations will be different according to those periods of times, and this is the wisdom from changing, therefore if a certain wish not come true don’t live with disappointment for long time just aim to achieve another wish with courage, determination ,because there are many ways to reach to happiness or success not only one way ,so always we need to live life with optimistic, hope that something beautiful will happen in the future. 🎈🎁🎉🎊
Thank you once again for this message that seems custom written for me and my life today. I remember when I was younger so many people used the term “I’m just trying to find myself.” If I could pass one message to younger generations, I would say RELAX. Live by The Golden Rule and know the real you will be there. I am 62 and am just figuring out who I am. Of course the real me has always been w/me but I just spent much more time “trying to figure it out” than was needed. Listen to and follow your heart. You will come to know and love you. It is absolutely amazing! Please have faith. Your heart will guide you and you can just be you. Make sense?
If you do so, you will be in leathal danger because nature sets you apart from the ones that are weaker. 100% true could be Glen eagles flying through the mountains. So learn to be quiet but make sure you’ll be noticed.
I am very happy for you that you have been able to amount such a great fortune with your mind. I was hooked until I saw this written at the side of your page. Having amounted such a fortune makes one skeptical. I still want to follow you, but not as often as I did. I liked it better when i thought it was friend to friend.
Thanks!..Sweet..Carla Laskey 💖💐 for Sharing an inspiring..worthful piece of writing..I only say if we want to lead a happy..Stable positive ..creative ..prosperous life we first have to focus who we are..wht we want to be ..wht are passions and desires..wht our soul’s and mind’s demands..how we can lead a successful life..When we give ourselves the liberty and privilige to grow and groom ourselves more we can utilise the best of our energies and stamina to make our lives worth living..and when we get the potential to do more works with passion.love and desire we can prove alot good for all..💖🙏Amen..and this will bestow us by God Almighty to lead a healthy purposeful life that can make our Soul and mind in ease with positive energies and we can motivate others..to do good for themselves and for all….Amen..
Trust and believe in the Lord, he knows all your troubles. Each one of us are on a journey and if we are truly sorry for our sins and accept him he will make all things well. Don’t expect that things will change when you want them to, but he knows you and everything that you need. The peace of the Lord to all who hear.
Paul xx
Its always hard to fight for your own truth. People have left me last years when i decided to stop telling them what they wanted to hear. Yes…i miss my childhood, when most things were easier.
But telling people what they needed to hear does not help me in relationship …it brought me wrong “friends” and lot of disappointment and pain.
Saying what you REALLY want to say can be liberating and make you feel proud and confident.
Thank You Carla for this great and true word and great advice. I’ve come through an extremely difficult time in my life. I’m currently recovering feeling peaceful , growing and moving into a new dimemsion.Ive had to face the truth in some issues and still make painful decisions that are decisions for spiritual alignment. To grow, to evolve may total change our appetite for things we once accepted and entertained. As I get older being authentic is this narrow lane that I chose to walk in and refuse to be boxed in.
This is a short response , I’m actually sleepy and I miss you guys. Have an amazing morning.
Thank you sooo much for your very impressive article!! I try to be true. but sometimes truth brings out a person with no control, a person using only the primitive brain! When I calm down I am traumatized by my behavior! Then again, if I keep quiet all my frustration and hurt will struggle me! Maybe I need to scream out my feelings, soo I can find the peace I am seeking for! Thank you for opening my heart, Inspirational Carla!!! 🙏🏆🥇❤️💕⭐️🎹🎸🌺
I need to be true to myself! I want to feel happy, light, joyful, and free to do what I want when I want to do it! Be able to travel when I want to, where I want to? I need to feel free, and be free! Still need to socialize with friends, acquaintances, fellow artists, and take time for myself! I need to change environnement to be able to feel this! This is my goal, make that change!
Thank you for the article. It applies to my current situation. My desire to get to know myself and BE whoever that is. Deciding to escape a long term relationship that has held me back from this…im excited, scared, and needing the courage to move forward.. Say your prayers for all involved as i wish nothing but peace and happiness for everyone.
Hi Carla…thank you for this article…the one and only thing in this world that’s constant is ‘change’ …you have to be this individual to accomplish this… finding yourself is how success will come… their are things in your life nobody can do although we may depend on others… never be ashamed of down falls because it shows us the road to new and different ways in achieving goals….
You’re welcome. It is my pleasure and my service. Thanks for taking the time to add your comment to the conversation!
I enjoyed your article very much………………………
Thank you Diane! It is my service :-)!
I find it hard sometimes to keep a balance between being positive and not getting my expectations of something too high. I just keep an open mind. We are told that if we don’t have high expectations, we are negative. I don’t think that’s true in every case. I just try to have a plan b and keep my expectations intact. That way, I don’t get as disappointed as I would be if my expectations are high. We all expect things to be a certain way and to a certain extent. They won’t always be spot on. It’s just the way life goes. I’ve experienced this so many times, that I’m now wary and try to research first, or keep an open mind, as I said earlier. If things aren’t what I expect them to be, I sometimes try to find a reasoning behind it to lessen the disappointment. I think it’s part of human nature to have high hopes about events or holidays, or wherever/whatever we are doing. Sometimes our own perception of how an event should be is different from reality. Thanks for sharing and tips for coping. It’s a good topic.
You’re welcome Margo! And thank you for sharing :-)!
AMEN
And so be it :-)! Thanks for taking the time to comment!