Doors are opening all around you. Stop focusing on the one that closed.
You know the old saying ‘When one door closes, another one opens,’ or ‘when one window closes another one opens’? I’ve always wondered, does that mean if you jump out a second story window will you really be able to get back in another open window? I kind of doubt it but that would sure be handy.
Life sure seems to have a funny way of opening and closing doors and windows…. Or does it?
Maybe it’s just that once a door closes, WE ARE MORE OPEN. Open to seeing other doors or opportunities that may have been there all along, but we were so focused on what we were doing that we could not see them.
In today’s busy world, so many of us are focused on the distractions surrounding us. I would be lying if I said that I am always looking to the future. Just ask my mom, husband, or daughter. It drives them nuts that I can be such a last-minute planner. I do have a bigger dream and vision of the future that I am working towards. However, more often than not, it’s the little things and daily/weekly plans that seem to be what I miss the target on. So then, “what opportunities am I missing is right now?” is the question?
The flip side: what about those that seem to have no doors? Is it that there are none? I doubt it. Is it that some people merely lament too long over their disappointment, love loss, or grief at a door shutting? Can we blind ourselves to new opportunities by wishing things were different? ABSOLUTELY YES, 100%! If you’re lamenting something in the past, here’s a concept that might be hard to swallow. Spending today always looking at yesterday, won’t make tomorrow any better. (Insert mind blown emoji here.)
Now that I have you going “Hmmm. Ok, I get it. But no one understands MY situation.” Sit and think about what you may be missing by continuing to look backward instead of forward.
Ask yourself these questions.
- How many open doors have you passed by because your blinders were on?
- What closed door might you still be standing in front of wishing it was still open?
- Have you looked around you to see if there is something else waiting for you?
- Have you peeked inside any unlocked doors but shut them quickly? Too afraid to move forward?
- How happy or sad does looking back at that door make you at any given time?
Let me share my simple story.
Maybe it will shine a light on the numerous times that this has happened in YOUR life?
I have been an instructor for eight years in a program called Body Combat. I have been in love with this program for the last eight years. But last Fall one of my knees was not very happy. I learned that I have a good case of arthritis, and every time I taught it worsened. I knew six months ago that I should be giving up teaching Combat, but my heart was not ready to do that. (DOOR closing and me standing there not wanting it to close.) Progressively my knee got worse. So, I took two weeks off for a reset. All the swelling went down. It stopped hurting. Talk about a big blinking sign on that door telling me to close it!
Finally, I made the choice — the decision to close the door.
After I closed that theoretical door, my heart, spirit, and mind were completely open. I immediately started looking around for other doors/opportunities.
So, how do we know when to close a door and look for other open doors?
- Normally, we know. We humans have been given this fantastic thing called intuition. Don’t just dismiss it, listen to it. Figure out what it’s telling you.
- Weigh the Pros and Cons of the situation and how it is affecting your life, state of mind, health, or relationships.
- If intuition is telling you that you should be walking away from something, ask yourself why. (See #1.)
- Exercise self-love, self-confidence, and grit to trust in yourself and the answer to #3.
- Have the courage to stick to your decision even if others do not fully understand.
I am not saying that it is going to be easy.
And in fact, sometimes it may be hard. It was hard for me to write the email saying I was stepping down from teaching. From start to actual send was three grueling hours. However, I felt immediate relief as I hit send. I knew it was the right decision.
Remember, don’t lament at the door after it closes. It will not make tomorrow better. The only thing that will make tomorrow better is to move forward. I will miss this chapter, but I know that there are even more amazing opportunities and new doors to come.