May 11, 2018 at 1:11 pm #81553Jo DavisParticipant
Let’s be real folks. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that sends you hiding in your dark closet sobbing. Figuratively and sometimes (*clears throat) LITERALLY.
Since my 1st year of saying ‘YES’ to all things uncomfortable, my life has become something remarkable that most would not believe. Like “big magic” amazing. Now STOP!!! Don’t be a hater. Hang with me a second. This could really change your life.
Most of my day is filled with these bizarre magical miraculous moments of serendipity. No joke. I’m not bragging. In fact, the only part of the equation that I can take credit for is the saying “YES” & taking action. I frankly feel like I am on a speeding bus driven by every soul that ever died with regret. They are hell bent on ME having NONE, even if that means every minute of every day is spent basically having to overcome every fear in the freaking book! Many of you would choose death by fire over tackling fears. I am embracing it. Most of it is a mysterious puzzle and I no longer waste time forcing the pieces to fit how “I” see fit. And, if I told you about an average day for me and the crazy amazing things that weave in and out of my space? Your jaw would hit the floor. You would either hate me or want to drink what my friends call the Jo-Juice.
And, what is that?? Here’s the cliff notes version… “GRATITUDE. GRATITUDE. GRATITUDE.”
I roll around in it every single moment as if it is my breath. It is my everything. You asked my secret. Boom! There you go! NEXT!
So, let’s come back to planet earth for a moment. You know? Real $#!%. The foster puppy peed all over my favorite rug. The plumbing nightmare. The everchanging motherhood mine field. And/or the fact that I am like THE IRON MAN Tony Stark of empaths, just got my red iron suit, and I have no clue what all these damn buttons do AND therefore, most days I’d rather NOT leave the house. Run-on-sentence but true story. These superpowers of sensitivity cannot be taken lightly. We can talk about that LATER.
So as I claim to be this mindful, sensitive, loving person, say hello to “disappointment”…
I have spent a substantial amount of time practicing releasing attachment from expectations or attachment to the end result. It has been liberating! But when an opportunity is ripped out from under you & you are left to feel unnecessary, unimportant, and naked?? OUCH!
It shifts to issues with “trust” & how do we move on to forgiveness? That forgiveness also includes forgiving ourselves for not listening to our gut. “I knew you had an agenda & it really wasn’t about me. But you said…(insert amazeballs opportunity here). And, I called my mother to share the news!” The details are unimportant because look, we are all opportunist to some degree. Right? Some people just miss the human factor or lack ability to see past their needs. We all know that guy that plows through people, filling their own cup and leaving a mess behind them. The inconsiderate guy at the coffee station at the office or that lady that calls you to retract your invitation to speak on Oprah. They are not concerned with your feelers. IT IS NOT THEIR JOB. Those people? Hmmmm… If it gives you comfort, know that they struggle too. In business, home life, love life, etc. But they are a little different than you. They don’t ask why achieving their goal is so freaking hard? And, they likely are not reading this article. (Side note: you will never get an honest answer from ANYONE on your payroll. PERIOD. Find someone in your life that shows love with straight talk.)
By the way, please don’t look at celebrities or successful or famous people and think that they don’t hurt. Trust me, NOT getting invited to the neighborhood BBQ when you aren’t famous, hurts way less than being uninvited to hang out with the Foo Fighters because they only have 8 seats in their SUV. The bigger the opportunity. The bigger the hurt when is falls through.
Set that aside. If you have hung in this far & are still reading this? You want honestly and truth. You want some sincere guidance for moving through disappointment. You want to know how to move past those experiences? Here goes…
DO YOUR BEST TO REMAIN UNATTACHED.
Remember that people are only human and they don’t always handle things, including your feelings with grace & ease.
THAT’S YOUR JOB, NOT THEIRS…
Deep down we all want to believe that someone thinks highly of us, believes in us, sees our badassary and all that jazz. The stuff that we are supposed to be feeding ourselves NOT relying on others for. Remember? That STUFF! (Yes! I thought I had that covered on my end, but apparently, I am still a human being with feelings. Darn. Go figure.) So understandably, it hurts when you are passed off like day old salami because something bigger came along.
Give yourself some credit. You are not weak. Maybe you even love extra big and that makes you extra incredible. But you still have feelings. Own them. Feel it and don’t feel bad for losing your lunch over it. Give yourself a minute. And, if you played your cards right? You might be lucky and have that one friend that gets it. That reminds you of what makes you exceptional. That can list what makes you a really great human being.
GRATITUDE AND BIG MAGIC.
This hurt will pass. I promise. And in my experience, something much more exciting shows up once I reconnect with gratitude. Find something. Anything to big grateful for. Then, build on that.
I know, there it is again! That word! Gratitude. It’s true. My life is a testament to the power of gratitude. You have permission to have your meltdown. But don’t’ stay there too long. Gratitude is the door that when you open it? It leads to the stuff that dreams are made of…big magic! Move through the mess, find gratitude, and then simply open the door. I’ll see you on the other side.
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