I remember the day vividly!
I was sitting at my desk completely out of breath, gasping for air. My heart was racing, I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. I didn't know what was happening to me. I felt like passing out. I was only 30 years old, was in pretty good shape and didn't think I was having anything serious happen, but wasn't sure. I called my mom to tell her all my symptoms. She was into holistic approaches to healing but also was my main healer since I was born. Mom always makes things better.
She calmed me down and knew I was under a lot of stress personally.
I was about to be divorced from my childhood sweetheart. She talked me off the ledge so to speak and started talking about natural remedies I could go get. She mentioned some relaxation teas and a flower essence called Rescue Remedy. This helped that day, but then this panic happened again and again and sometimes with different symptoms.
I ended up at the Dr's office more times than I care to admit thinking I was dying. I always thought the Dr. would tell me something awful was happening to me. Instead, I had been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I couldn't believe there was such a thing. In fact, many of those symptoms are similar to having a heart attack… were they really sure? I really don't want to take a chance with my LIFE here.
I started researching this ANXIETY thing and couldn't believe there were many others experiencing the same or similar things. On one hand, I was happy I wasn't dying, on the other hand, this was scary. I mean, when would I have the next panic attack? Where would I be? What causes it? I researched, read books, talked to therapists and joined anxiety groups trying to find answers.
Fast forward to now, 15 years later.
I have realized that this is something that will follow me around for the rest of my life. Sometimes it is in the forefront and is right smack in front of my face to deal with NOW and sometimes I have controlled it and it is sitting on the back burner to rear its face another day.
From the outside, no one would ever know that I deal with Anxiety in my life, unless you are close to me. In fact, from the outside, I am a successful businesswoman, a loving wife, a motivational speaker and coach and live life to its fullest. I am always happy and having fun, except when I am under the influence of anxiety.
I started to shift my paradigm, just this last year and instead of thinking of my anxiety as a MONSTER… it is now one of my best friends. WHAT AM I THINKING RIGHT?
Well, my anxiety has taught me to SLOW DOWN… life is not a race to the finish line. It is a day by day event. Sometimes I do have to take two steps back to get one step forward and I am ok with that.
Anxiety has taught me to love myself more and do things for ME… like eat healthier foods, get plenty of rest, drink plenty of water, enjoy the NOW moment and live by my heart.
Anxiety has taught me to unleash my creativity.
I have taught myself how to crochet, paint, cook creative fun meals, write and follow my intuition. When I am in my creative zone, I am being my authentic self and anxiety is nowhere to be found.
Anxiety, my best friend, has taught me that when I slow down and take time to smell the roses, take care of my physical needs and live in my joy, I am at my happiest, healthiest and the MOST FREE I can ever be.
Is there something in your life that you once thought was your downfall or held you back that can really turn out to be your best friend or teacher?
I am now grateful for what Anxiety has taught me.
That doesn't mean that I don't have some uncomfortable moments physically and mentally, it just means that I have learned a lot and continue to learn from my new best friend… anxiety.