A New Way of Thinking

Deep down inside, underneath all that programming, you always know.

We've all heard so many versions of the same thing:

Just love yourself and your life will change. Just think positive and everything will be better. You just need to trust more, have more faith, believe it can be and it will be.

But if you're anything like me, I can hear these words and understand what they mean, but actually doing them is an entirely different thing.

  • What does it really mean to love yourself?
  • To think positive?
  • To trust more?
  • To have more faith?
  • To believe it can be?

How exactly do you do that? How do you love yourself more when you find so many things to loathe about yourself and so very few things to love? How do you think positive when so much of your life is anything but positive? How do you trust more when you've been so badly burned before? How do you have more faith when you can't find anything to have faith in? How can you believe it can be when you've tried to believe for so long and nothing ever changed?

Isn't that where so many of us have found ourselves on this journey called life?

The reality is that we can't get to the part where we learn a new way to be until we've first learned a new way to think.

It's in our mind, in our thoughts, in the way we choose to think about something that this battle is won or lost.

And it requires questioning all that most of us have ever known in order to see something different, let alone believe there could be another answer or a different way of thinking about the very things we hold true.

What if someone else doesn't know better? What if an authority figure isn't really an authority at all, but just another human being with a strong (but subjective) opinion? 

What if deep down inside your heart of hearts, you could be the one who knows better?

What if you could go back in time and look at where all your programming comes from and see the role the culture, the media, and your family played?

What if they couldn't possibly have known you the way you know yourself, what if you knew better than them?

What if everything wasn't quite so cut and dry, but instead, what if there was room for you?

Oh what a journey it's been, but oh how much I've learned in the process of becoming open to question what I had only ever taken for granted before. 

Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it! It's where you'll find the you you'd never otherwise know.

Question whether something you've always held to be the truth really is. Question whether something you've been told “simply is the way it is”, really is. Question whether the way “it's always been” is the way it still has to be.

And most importantly, question whether any of what you've been doing is working for you and bringing you closer to the life and the love you're looking for.

If it is, great. But if there's any doubt, any question that there might be a different or better way of living your life, listen to that.

That's your truth.

Deep down inside, underneath all that programming, you always know.


Jane Garapick

Jane Garapick is a dating and relationship coach, and the founder of Getting to True Love, LLC.

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Jackie Wilushewski
Jackie Wilushewski

I remember when I first started coming into alignment with the Law of Attraction and how we have the power to Manifest. I felt in a similar fashion as you have initially described. Over several years I have been finding new and creative ways to be with this. As you have explained here – it really was about noticing all of the wonderful things big and “small” that I have in my life to experience each day – that Gratitude is what has been the biggest secret to the transformations I have experienced. This article has really touched me and I am very grateful for you writing and sharing this with the World! <3

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Melissa Rose Rothschild

It’s in our “gut” .
A combination of heart and head … otherwise known as our soul …
Thank you Jane
Great article ❤️


Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it! It’s where you’ll find the you you’d never otherwise know. WOW so beautiful and very inspiring. Thanks for sharing

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