A Love Formula In 10 Easy Steps

You choose to be in love the same way you choose to be happy...

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” —Buddha

Love is the eternal mystery of life. It is pure and unconditional state of your soul-self. If expectations exist in relationships that is not love, then it is ego-self who wants to be satisfied.

If you are not happy in love, first make sure that it is really soul-self love.

If it is soul-self love and you are still unhappy, be sure that you are not giving it to a wrong person. If he/she does not respect you, your time and your needs or makes you feel humiliated, unloved or even depressed, then these are not your uncompleted expectations. You have the right to feel respected, loved and needed. He/she is not right for you when this is not so.

And if it isn’t soul-self love and you are still unhappy, the Universe is telling you that your purpose is to feel soul-self love without any expectations and to ask yourself what is the real reason you are in that relationship. That reason needs a cure. It needs to be solved in some other way, so that you can be on your way to transform yourself into a happy, lovable person and attract the one that deserves you and loves you just as you are.

Often in masterpieces of art, love is described as sadness. But we have to know that sadness doesn’t exist because of love. Sadness exists because of feeling that we don’t have who or what we think we love, and the truth is that is our ego again. You must let your soul free and release it from ego. Sadness also comes from nostalgia, loneliness or disappointment. But must it be so? No! 

Being in love is not love! Being in love is passion, and the passion is ego again. Love is a state of heart and mind!

You choose to be in love the same way you choose to be happy, no matter how impossible this might sound now. There are civilizations that don’t recognize “being in love” or “romantic love,” as these are demonstrated to us in romantic literature. Feeling love is a deeper and stronger healthy state; in fact, the most important state in our lives. Please, try to understand the difference between “being in love” and “feeling love.”

No matter how much I love that particular person, the absolute truth is that the only person who will spend a lifetime with me for sure is the person who lives in me. And that person is me!

You are the only person who will absolutely for sure spend lifetime with you. You choose if it is going to be your soul-self or your ego-self and if you are going to love and be happy or in love and probably, disappointed and unhappy, at the end. 


  1. Discover soul-self unconditional love without any expectation, free yourself from ego.

  2. Being in love is not love! Being in love is passion. Love is a state of heart and mind.

  3. You are the only person who will spend your life with you! Love yourself!

  4. If you don’t love yourself, others won’t love you either.

  5. Love your family, no matter who they are.

  6. Choose your friends wisely. You can’t live positive life with negative people.

  7. It does not matter what you want, it’s what we feel that matters!

  8. Happy, lovely feelings bring positive energy. Positive energy attracts more positive energy and then lead to the “Road of Success.”

  9. Love is a precondition to success! Find love in whomever or whatever you like. But most importantly: find love in you!

  10. Inner-self love must be soul-self love, too, without any expectation. If it is egocentric or narcissistic you will attract the same kind of love from another person and you will experience disappointment, conflicts and sadness!

Now you know the recipe. But before you “eat the cake,” make it and bake it first. Make it by yourself. Make it as you like, with chocolate or fruits or cheese, with cream, walnuts or hazelnuts. But be unique and you will feel wonderful!


Catherine B. Roy

Bestselling Author, CEO and Founder of “Live from Your Heart and Mind” (LHM), Heart and Mind Coach, Human Potential Thought Leader, MENSA member and Award Winning Artist and Scientist whose stimulating, upbeat and inspirational writings have helped countless people in the world.

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Melissa Rose RothschildCatherine B. RoyUchenna IloMayuri RanaKristina Recent comment authors
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Melissa Rose Rothschild
Melissa Rose Rothschild

“Inner-self love must be soul-self love, too, without any expectation. If it is egocentric or narcissistic you will attract the same kind of love from another person and you will experience disappointment, conflicts and sadness!”
Thank you Catherine.

Uchenna Ilo
Uchenna Ilo

Beautiful lessons to live by.

Mayuri Rana
Mayuri Rana

Soul-self love is such a deep concept. Love is different for different people and you’ve explained it in such a simple way.. There are so many different perspectives to look at love..Amazing article..Thank you for sharing <3


I don’t typically add my replies: however, I emphatically enjoyed your simple yet complex steps & the absolute integrity with which you lay out without reserve. I wanted to know if you have comments on this exercise I was given, enroute to self soul love searching. Situated in front of a mirror, look deeply into your eyes for a full minute (or until you find the windows to your soul). Without breaking the connection, then say aloud to yourself, “I LOVE YOU”. .
This is repeated until you are connected to your true love. It will be funny, embarrassing, and perhaps uncomfortable. But it is a great exercise. Eventually, you’ll see beyond your aesthetic reflection. It took me nearly eight days to do it without laughing.

Thank you again for your genuine integrity.
Make it a brilliant life !

Jackie Wilushewski
Jackie Wilushewski

I have been through different space and places with this and it is great to see the growth 🙂 Thank you for this insightful message, sharing!

Akiroq Brost
Akiroq Brost

Loving without expectation is so important. With respect for yourself and the other person. You have the right to love and be loved, don’t deny yourself that right.Separating ego from self will help discern what is real love and what is not. It is imperative to grow and maintenance the relationship with self in order to experience the highest quality of life possible. Regarding #5, I believe sometimes it is necessary to love people from a distance, and to remove them from the inner circle of our lives. I enact boundaries with all relationships that are unhealthy, including those with family. Great article Catherine. Self-love is so very important!


Beautiful and love it@catherinebroy.

Jo Davis
Jo Davis

Shared! Love this @catherinebroy

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