Simple StepsSuccessWealth

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

We all aspire to do, be and have great things. Yet most of us simply aren’t creating the results we want. We complain that we don’t have enough money, romance, success or joy in our lives.

We point fingers and blame outside problems that “happen” to us and make life more difficult. But what we need to understand and keep at the forefront of our minds is that greatness exists in all of us. It is simply up to us to pull it out of ourselves. Regardless of personal circumstances, economic climates, and access to resources, it helps to maintain faith in the fact we each are more powerful than we think.

We all have the ability to create the life we want. We just need to learn how to do it. Is there an exact “formula”? No, but there are certain common features that successful people exhibit and that anyone can practice. They are what can jumpstart your success and attract what you want in life. You’d be hard pressed to find any high achiever who doesn’t live by the following 7 tips:

1. Take No Less than 100% Responsibility for Your Life

One of the greatest myths that is pervasive in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you.

Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing. Income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors. That person who reflects back at you in the mirror is the chief conductor in your life. Say hello!

I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but the mind can play games, tricking plenty of people into thinking external factors are the source of failure, disappointment, and unhappiness. But the truth of the matter is that external factors don’t determine how you live. You are in complete control of the quality of your life.

Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

2. Be Clear Why You’re Here

I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. They take the time to understand what they’re here to do, and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm.

If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, then just tune in to the signals around you. Looking toward others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, likes and dislikes, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. You might be surprised by what you discover.

3. Decide What You Want

It sounds so simple, but here’s the problem: I see plenty of people who are overly-busy yet who feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. They are physically tired, spiritually drained, and far from where they’d like to be—as if they’ve been running on a treadmill going nowhere fast. Why? Because they haven’t clearly mapped out what they want and then taken the steps to get there. Rather than identifying specific goals, milestones, and dreams (and I’m talking BIG dreams and goals here), they go through the motions day in and day out tackling unimportant tasks. They end up…you guessed it…going in circles and wasting lots of energy. In the meanwhile, they grow increasingly uninspired and out of touch with their authentic selves. This, of course, sets anyone up to living a life out of balance.

One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail. What does success look like to you? Not everybody’s definition of success is the same, nor should it be.

Don’t let your inner devil’s advocate (or that incessant but unimportant To Do list) inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.

4. Believe It Is Possible

Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they’re learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible.

As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the complaint department. Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my father. I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes; the abilities, inner resources, talents and skills to create your desired results.

Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over.

6. Become an Inverse Paranoid

This one is straightforward: Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that.

7. Unleash the Power of Goal Setting

Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there aren’t any criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea.

Sometimes we need to make just one initial goal to get started, and that’s okay. At least it comes with a few actions to achieve. A first step simply can be making an immediate change in a single area in your life. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable and overwhelming for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain? You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices.

Bear in mind that you have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan more steps to keep moving you forward faster.

Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else?

So if you need just one thing to do different today than you did yesterday, make it this: Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!

Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Souland a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now by visiting

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Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Souland a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success.

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  1. Hello Jack, Bryant and Jenni💕 This is such an interesting article which I have to take note of and share. Reading this reminds me of my past experience last 2015 regarding manifesting what I wanted. It’s true that when you are clear with your WHY, you have pure intentions, and have a positive mindset, the HOW will manifest effortlessly. It’s just amazing how the universe will work on your favor to bring about the people and opportunities to help your dream become a reality.
    Time for a fresh start. Enough with negativities like complaining. Have to take charge of my life 100%.
    Should refrain from being affected by toxic people ànd their unhealthy opinions. Will just listen to people who try to encourage, love, support me and wants to see me grow and flourish.💕 thank you and Namaste

  2. Thank you very much fo the nice article, it was inspiring and motivating, goal setting for material things in not difficult, I have done that frequently, but spiritual development is very different.

  3. This page of writing of your thoughts to your thought about life. What exactly you wanna be or what I can be to be example to the people or to one person. Sometimes I’m asking my self. Is this life is leading you to a good example who wanna be in the future. Do I live alone or maybe not. By the way for the mean time I want to be a good leader of doing its better for me.

  4. It is very good article we need to read it to create the life we want to live my definition to secess is setting goals ,believe in yourself and thinking in a positive way

  5. I highly enjoyed reading every word of this. All positive thoughts, efforts, changes, goals and mostly life and mind changes to achieve a happier successful life.
    I’ll be sharing with friends that need an up lifting message to reevaluate their lives.

  6. I absolutely enjoyed this article, especially the part of taking ownership of our own mishaps and to be responsible for making the changes you need to in your life. We are the only who can truly control who we are and what we choose to become. Reading this puts everything into prospection.

  7. thank you for your beautiful advice in this article which i should follow to achieve success happiness and self satisfaction all the steps are needed to attend a wonderful life and tio believe in oue selves

  8. Excellent article full of valuable information. I also would add; you must first decide what you don’ t want as you discover what life you want. Clear the trash that is in your way, then build.

  9. I rely loved the write up it was rely for me, I get confused sometimes and I don’t even know what I want. I guess I need self confidence and to also believe in my self, thanks.

  10. About point 7. of the article: Setting goals. Yes, it’s right. And i would further say: Set one goal and think day and night of it. Meditate once a day about it. Or pray also once a day to achieve it. Of course it’s harder to do this every day and night when you have family, work, so another responsabilities and fellow men, who need something from you with their questions, requests etc. But keep trying. And remain humble within you. And thankful, that you are alive. And try to realize, what pulls you down: are some people in your life, who are false? Are some habitudes of you, like too much in social networks 🙂 involved or whatever? Be honest to yourself.
    And: Even you’re trying to achieve a goal, don’t forget to remain in balance with yourself. That means, hear of what your body wants to tell you. Or your soul. (For example: If you’re looking all the time on the watch, to do things faster, that’s not good, causes stres, so let your watch not all the time at your arm but in the neighbourhood). Try to orientate yourself looking outside, if you can. (“Oh, i have plenty of time to do this and that until it’s dark outside”). Try to follow your inner compass.
    Have a day full of buds :), dear author and Readers,
    your burstofbuds.

  11. thank you for your excellent article which is very helpful and benificial to follow all the steps mentioned and to my experience i find it important to programme our confidence andfeei our own security to take control of our lives and purposes more over to stop listen tothe voices in our minds that say you can’t and start listening to the one that says you can

  12. Wow loved this , we all can go off track at certain times in our life especially when we have traumatic experiences and sometimes it takes time to get back to where you think you should be , Funny how I always thought my life is mine I am going to do the best i can … And I was , I turned all bad into good , my glass was always half full always …I turned impossible into a miracle… I have been and going through a lot … reading these 7 steps has just bought everything back to me … I must stay focus… And get back to the land of living … Thank you so much ! Sometimes things just take time … Even when we want to get up and go our mind or bodies fail us … My goals are set… & working towards thanks jack… 😊

  13. I LOVE the synchronocity of this article as my last few days have been filled with self-motivation by following EVERY one of my tasks at hand (at becoming a better me) with, “NO ONE ELSE WILL!” For example, “Take responsibility for your actions/reactions/decisions(etc), because NO ONE ELSE WILL, Fatima!” On this journey of taking responsibility for all that has gone on in life, I’ve realized that self acceptance and self worth has led us to where we are… the lesser the self worth, the lesser the success level(in EVERY field of life) and vice versa. In the end, it is ALWAYS what we think and how we think of ourselves that will guarantee our level of success. It’s ALL YOU… ALWAYS!

  14. Thank you kindly Sir for your incredible advice!!! Beauty, love, happiness and every other wonder in this world, in our universe is reflected in our eyes. The eyes are the mirror of our souls but also the mirror of the answers we are all seeking. Only a glimpse around can prove eternity. We just have to look and be forever mesmerized by the miraculous Creation!!! Breathing and feeling a tingling sensation of extraordinaire energy. Your thoughts, need to be fully understood and mystical, deep concentration, skepticism, in order to achieve the unreachable dream!!! You bring great honor and forceful light to the world, our souls and hearts!!!

  15. Excellent article full of truth! Thank you Mr. Canfield for sharing with us! I took notes! 👍😊

    As I read your article I remembered events along my path of life. Sometimes the real lesson is not what you are focused on, but what slips in along the way. Those are the best lessons!

    Success is not always the same as reaching your goals, is it!

    Wishing you all the best in success and also the lessons best for you.

  16. Thank you for this great article, it really hits me. Lately as i having my self reflection, i realized that I’m suffering from self sabotage, I’m a prisoner of my doubts and fears and so scared to love again. I’m afraid that i can be cheated on again. But then i realized that, staying on that stage will not make any good on me, I’m just torturing myself. Then i prayed to God and leave Him everything upto Him, my past hurt, trauma, and ask Him to renew my heart and fill me more of Him.. Now, i see the world in a more positive view. I want to spread more love, care,and understanding. The things that matter is how can i help and contribute happiness, positivity, beauty, and peace to the people i have now and to the new ones that i will meet. I know can do this through God’s guidance, i keep praying to Him to direct my path every single day…💟

  17. I am reading this article at an extremely difficult time in my personal and working life. My brother was killed by an impaired driver November 2016 and the driver pleaded not guilty. May 4 2018 we are to submit our impact statement as we reached a plea agreement and the accused has decided to plead guilty. This has been an extremely challenging time for my siblings and our families . I come from a family of nine siblings and the brother killed was the baby. On top of all the stresses and emotional upheaval we had one family member that caused further challenging turmoil and made emotional wrecks of his siblings by posting some very undesirable and ugly comments about us on social media on New Year’s Eve . As we were finally feeling that we are about to get some peace with our brothers death and get some form of closure . At any rate I decided to go to counseling to better understand myself and find peace as well as honor my brother in death as I did in life . This article comes at a. Moment in my life that I can only view as miraculous. I am 65 years young and the middle sibling that always looked for the silver lining in tough times as a way to cope. My goal is to get through this challenge as I continue to look for ways to enhance my life although I don’t know exactly how or even what I am searching for in relation to that enhancement other than inner peace and direction. I do know though that articles like this are some of the things I need as a guide and teaching aid so Thank You

    1. Randy morrissey so sorry you have gone through all that you have..everything takes time you will get there, baby steps… . sending you a bucket full of love and strength… 🙏🏻🍀

  18. I love this! Especially owning every aspect of your life. If you nothing else, the task of finding some sense of gratitude for each postive AND negative chapter.

  19. Attitude adjustments. On a nice summer day in 1994 I was sitting on the front porch my daughter came out the door and asked me if I wanted to go jogging with her. At the time I was a smoker so I declined. That really got to me. Two doctors suggested I quit smoking and start exercising. Those were my New Years Resolutions. New Year’s day would come and go and so would my resolutions. This time I tried something different. I started my New Years resolution at the beginning of December. I picked a day to quit smoking. Friday on the way to work I smoked my last cigarette. I got up Saturday morning, ate breakfast then headed out the door. I kept busy, chewed a lot of sugarless gum, and drank lots of water, The urges to smoke were overwhelming. I resisted the nicotine waves and looked at it as the nicotine demons trying to leave my body so I helped them along. After 3 says I was free of the habit. I suddenly felt like I had a lot more extra time. Smoking takes up a lot of your time. Write down everything associated with your smoking and you may end up smoking less . As the days passed I became restless as blood vessel began opening up giving me a tingling sensation. On the 28th of December, I signed up at a local gym. After 10 days of going to the gym is when I really felt the difference. At first, I thought I had hurt myself but what I actually did was realign my posture which made a world of a difference. With my new lifestyle, I did more bike riding, bought season passes at the local pool, took up jogging and invested in a Border Collie. Life learning lesson, a healthy lifestyle has its rewards waiting for you

    1. I too have had 54 years of smoking. I am 65 years young and smoking again. I have quit numerous times in my life but could never quit and stop completely. I now can quit because my stress level has been lowered. I live alone and have no girlfriends.

      I have been married and divorced twice due to not knowing how to be a good husband and not being able to love. You may think that I am selfish, but I called it self preservation. I started in the workforce at age thirteen due to the rough upbringing and abuse I received as a child. I have been to therapists and found that some are as mixed up as I was. I have enjoyed the Wellbriety meetings of the Indigenous culture which works toward the healthy mental, spiritual, physical and emotional aspects in my life. It took me from manic depression and bi-polarism and has given me a better life. I found if I surrender myself to my Creator He gives me everything I need in His time.

  20. Thanks Jack for your powerful advice.This is true that one must one has to be determined to make the dreams desires and the goals vome true. This is not an easy job for some people who were the acute victims of the rude society but I can say that those worst chspters of life is about to close as a new begining is awaiting…..The person who had fought for the rights of her child and could complete her mission, is anew person now with more confidence courage and fearless ready for a different battle . This battle will be for herself to estsblish herself on her own come what may..

    She is preparing herself each day with each step and progressing… The old chapters are closing…no worry no regrets no more looking back….now will face and fight the most hardest and difficult battle , standing slone sgainst all odds….I wish her victory and all the best for her life…

    I hope even others will pray for her victory… thanks once again for your motivations…

  21. Dear juanita,
    Im sorry for his early departure. He must be a good son to his parents, good husband to you and good friends to others. God allowed human beings returned home early due to his good merits/ deeds as a great Samaritan. His await on your your arrival when your time comes. No worries. Live your life freely, happily, & fully. His still around you and wanting you to enjoy your life on earth. He, god, & others love you. Sincerely. Tina Ngo.

  22. It’s so interesting to me because I’m currently.going through a transformation, myself. Over the past year, since my divorce, my life has taken some crazy turns. It’s bizarre because once I started thinking positively, it felt like things were just falling into my lap. Don’t get me wrong, people weren’t handing me dollar bills or offering me a job in Hollywood, but things were happening in such a weird way that I felt like I was willing it to happen. I actually thought someone was solely responsible for making these things happen, like I was being punked. Lol I kept waiting for more great and exciting things to happen, and guess what? They keep happening. The more positive you are, the more good vibes that you generate. When you give happiness, love, and joy to the world and look for it, it appears. It comes back to you. It comes back in strange forms, though; so don’t expect a million dollars to be handed to you. It comes in small subtle ways that you have to notice. Keep walking through doors and they’ll lead you to another. Always move forward and do things that you’re scared to do. The key to each new door is to do the scariest thing that comes to mind. It will lead you to the next door. Facing fears that you may not have even realized you had gives you a crazy rush of new found freedom. Our minds have the keys to every door. It’s just a matter of finding the right key. Breaking through the barriers within ourselves will take us to our desires. It’s a matter of mindset. I’m still on my journey. In fact, I’m just beginning, but I’m enjoying every second of it.

  23. I didn’t see anything I didn’t already know and share with others, but the message kept flitting through my mind, “Doctor, heal thyself.”. Thank you for reminder and the encouragement provided… I seek myself daily and pray for strength for us all to face our inconsistencies. Blessings to each of you for your outstanding efforts on behalf of others.

  24. I really love this ideal and I will definitely try this out Im ready to have the life I want. I believe in myself! Thank you for sharing.

  25. This article is excellent, one I think most important is taking responsibility and stop blaming others or circumstances for where you are. Goal setting is extremely important, at 60 I set a goal to complete my BSN, MHA and finally MSN, and had I not set those goals in 2004 I would not have achieved them. Another goal was to prepare and ask God to direct me to how he could use me after I retired and keeping that goal on my prayer list came to fruition in 2015. It is critical to know who you are and what you want most in life, and then believe in yourself and that you can achieve your goals. I believe God has a purpose for everyone, and when we know ourselves and identify what our gifts and talents are and then ask God how direct you toward using them toward his plan to serve and be of real help to others you will find as you move forward which life is a neverending journey of learning we find our life purposeful and find our peace and contentment as we fulfill our purpose.

  26. This is so true but something are hard to get trough mine is the loss of my husband of 42 years. It’s been a year and I’m still having a hard time.

  27. By putting yourself in a different frame of mind, telling yourself you are just as good, can do just as well, can accomplish it if you put in enough effort and telling yourself you can succeed, you have grown to a new level. Every day is a new day and a new chance to accomplish something no matter how small. Keep a journal of your progress so you have that to look back on and can see the improvements you have done and how far you have come. Give thanks to anyone who has helped you along your path. We all have a different type of mountain to climb but whether it is big steps or little steps, we can do it. Finding your own passion about something and running with it will give you the positive outcome that you are searching for. By believing in yourself and telling yourself that you can instead of using that word can’t, you will get far.

  28. It’s always easy to read an article and feel inspired and motivated. But life and living is a reality that we all have to face head on. We’re thrown many curve balls and most of the time we may try our best but we fail to deal with them because circumstances are beyond our control. For example accidents, deaths, terminal illnesses, disasters etc. In these circumstances we are truly tested but no article or simple steps etc have a solution. I’ve been through many of these. There’s no general advise I would give because people have to deal with them differently and no size fits all.

  29. We can choose to focus on what we have, or on what we feel we are missing. We can point the finger at others, or we can assume responsibility for ourselves and our lives. The quality of our experience depends on the quality of our thoughts. Greatness begins with a great mindset. Living with intention, setting clear goals, helps to focus and direct energy and action. Nothing is possible without a belief it is possible. We must place faith and trust in our own potential and then act.

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