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3 Simple Steps to Find True Love

When you learn to love yourself, then you will have enough love to give to whoever comes into your life.

If you have been struggling to attract a life partner who is compatible with you and who shares the similar values and aspirations with you, just remember that it very possible to achieve. The paradox of this pursuit is that in order to find that person we have to stop searching. I know this sounds contradictory but after interviewing a few people who seem to have found true love and happiness, the story is almost always the same; “Let go of searching, Focus on improving yourself, and allow the universe to bring the person to you.”

Step 1 – Stop searching

This advice sounds contradictory but it is not. The ancient philosophers and spiritual teachers have known and taught about the power of non-attachment.

I spent so many years chasing after people that looked good to my eyes.

Unconsciously I did not know that I was chasing after people to possess them and satisfy the desires of my flesh. My assessment of people was based on their physical attributes and sometimes intellect, thereby neglecting the most important things which were their values, beliefs, ambitions, pains, and goals. In the end I discovered that most of my relationships never really lasted. It always started on a very intense and fiery note but in a short time, everything fizzled out and the usual fighting, suspicion, and intolerance set in. The first step to attracting a perfect life partner is to make a conscious decision not to chase after people. Stop searching. The next step will explain what to do next. 

Step 2 – Love yourself

When you learn to love yourself, then you will have enough love to give to whoever comes into your life.

By loving yourself I mean you should work on yourself. Start making changes in your life that will lead to your becoming the best version of yourself. Do the inner work of purging yourself of bad habits and toxic relationships that have been holding you back. Let go of any relationship that is not helping you to reach your goal in life. By relationship, I mean your relationship with everything and everyone. Stop going to those places that bring you pain and misery. Start making small healthy changes and start learning to love yourself again. This stage might involve spending some time with yourself to get to know yourself. Be comfortable when you are alone with yourself. These tips build inner strength but may take some time to get used to. When you gain self-confidence and you start pursuing the passion of your heart, you will not have time for chasing people who do not want to stay in your life. You will be so excited about your life that you will look forward to waking up every morning to live your life.

Step 3 – Believe

The final step is to believe deep down within your soul that the right person will appear to you at just the right time. I had to believe and then let go of the outcome. Sometimes the universe will test you again by sending someone to test your resolve. You might meet someone who is close to the kind of person you deserve but they will not bring you peace. Let them go and move on.

The right person will come when you least expect it.

They usually show up in the most unusual of circumstances and places. They will come as a surprise and in synchronicity. The person who appears is the one who has been looking for you all their life. You will know them by the fruits of their spirit. They will mirror the beauty and love that you have cultivated within yourself. The greatest sign they carry with them is that they give you peace of mind. They will give you space to continue on your growth journey and together both of you can create such magic as the world has never seen before.

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Uchenna Ilo

Doctoral researcher (Innovation Management), Spiritual Thought Leader, Philosopher, Spiritual healer, Social Entrepreneur, Creative Writer, and Lover of Life.

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  1. Finding true love is not just about fishing in the sea but how you wait while you are fishing. Do not rush things on our will for God is preparing someone for us. Let God take control of everything. Our heart is very deceitful that things may go wrong if we do not use our mind over heart. There’s a right time, place and moment for each of us especially in finding our true Love. If you feel unloved, this is the time that you love yourself first. How people treat us depends on how we treat ourselves. Remember, if you think it’s too long for you to wait for your true love, it is because God is still writing your love story. He wants you to have a great, true and inspiring story of your life. God bless Us.

  2. This article is very real and amazing! The insights will save many people from running round in circles!

    I wish that many more will behold the simplicity of this message and apply it in other areas of their life as well.

  3. These steps are SO simple, yet SO hard to grasp for some and it’s simply because no matter how much they say that they love themselves, they have no idea what it truly means. I LOVE your simple explanation of it. It is ALL about working on you and becoming what you want first to attract what you need. It will be an amazing world when each of us truly understands the meaning of this. Thank You for your wisdom. <3

  4. This is such a wonderful article and great steps. I couldn’t agree more with everything said. I stopped chasing love awhile ago, just let it come to me when it’s the right time. The guys I ended up with in the past all happened when I least expected it to as well.

  5. This is such a beautiful article with so much wisdom..We really don’t have to chase anything that’s truly meant to be.. I loved the “believe” part and to trust the process..Thanks so much for sharing these wonderful steps..

    1. Attrscting the right relationship by loving ourselves first can help us fundamentally, but maybe more is needed inn specific ways such ås thinking what type of relationship you want if marriage is not for you. Many relationships start rosy and why do we only show our best sides at the beginning and låter it gets worse? I feel that tetting close om all Levels at the same time demands something of our perseverance, tolerance, maturity and imagination. And the everyday grind and boring routines can create too much stability when romance needs spontainuity, unpredictability and adventure! Have a lovely week everyone!!

  6. This so true thanks for sharing. They rejection i recieved in my past relationship has made me not love myself now i understand. One steo at a time

  7. Love yourself and thy God. Love is just a word. Love becomes something when someone or something brings a meaning to it. I don’t believe in love as relationship status because the words are said but they are not here with me no more. Love is something or someone that makes you feel good about yourself and makes you smile when you are down. This word ruined me because I have been told I love you many times by many women, even my daughters mother. Where is she now.? Not with me and don’t want me in daughters life so on that note it made me gamble and ruin my life because I feel that no one will ever love me and I would never have that dream of marriage with that one special women

  8. In Love
    There are factors to consider to make the love last for a lifetime.

    RESPECT each other
    TRUST each other
    Never forget to express how much
    You APPRECIATE each others effort and LOVE…

    If there will be times of heated arguements.
    Leave a GAP of time, breathe and
    Rekindle the happy moments you had been together…
    And if ever there will be another person who tries to ruin the marriage’

    To wives
    Do not do cat fight but show how much you love your husband
    Let The husband see your worth
    Show the other that you’re marriage is worth
    Fighting for.

    To husbands
    Never look for fun outside the marriage.
    It is a 100% binding commitment
    That if one is having his/her shortcomings
    Fill it and support each other.

    Marriage will have tons of challenges
    Battles and arguements but
    If our LOVE is greater to each other

    LOVE AND Marriage will always WIN…
    No body is a Perfect wife nor a Perfect Husband
    But God will make our better half
    The Perfect One for us to be with

  9. You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone who is not healthy….and that includes yourself too. That is why focusing on yourself first, and being healthy yourself first is so important! How can you know what other person is healthy if you are not first? Even if you find the most perfect person, if you are not healthy, the relationship will not be healthy. A good healthy relationship takes two good healthy people.

  10. 1st: Love God
    2nd: Love yourself
    3rd: The one you love should be your best friend. We have a problem in our marriage after 28 years of being best friends, lovers, and we were in church together every week. He no longer sleeps in our bedroom. It broke my heart. I fell I had lost my best friend. I cried for a year. Now I have no more tears to cry.
    Now I’m back to #1 and #2. God will take care of the rest.
    Thank you for your column. It really helps to read everyday.

  11. Thanks a lot for sharing your life wisdom and personal experience on being the right person instead of finding the right person. letting people be their best-selves is the best way to help them be happy and change behaviours for more positive life and relationship. For my personal experience, I need to improve myself in order to be in a collaboration relationship with design firms and developers. thanks for all you do and wish u have wonderful day and night. much love from hong kong, lokloklok

  12. After 17 yrs of trial and error I found that I need Jesus to be the first and commitment to be the second because all humans mess up. Also, be very very picky with who you choose to marry.

  13. I so enjoyed this article,humans crave connection and feelings of love,blindly chasing certain relationships, instead of focusing on creating positive moments of connection.I did finally understood love is not chased love comes in most beautiful way when we least expect it.Thank you so much ,please keep sharing your amazing motivational articles.

  14. Another brilliant article Uchenna. So much divine truth and wisdom in these words soul brother. I SO agree that letting go of searching for ‘the one’, and simply focusing on yourself, your growth and your own self improvement is what inevitably attracts your soul mate to you… like a divine mirror magnetized!!! It all starts with self love. Love these 3 Simple Steps to find True Love, and love YOU. ❤️👑✨🙌🏽🙏🏽🙌🏽🦋🌹🕊

  15. Thank you for this fantastic, encouraging and interesting write up, Uchenna. It is good to read that this is all possible to achieve and we all have to do is stop searching. I am in accord with you, 100% that one needs to focus more on improving oneself and the rest falls into place. We will attract the right person at the right time and the universe will work with us to allow that to happen. The significant things that will keep two people connected for life are as you describe; their values, philosophies, ambitions, pains, goals; and if I might add; a vision for the relationship they are both creating.

    Spiritual partnerships are the most fulfilling and deep relationships ever. They are relationships between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth, creating a life of more joy and less pain, more meaning and less emptiness, and more love and less fear. As we become more enlightened and aware of ourselves as more than we once thought we were, we long for relationships that are the most meaningful and rewarding possible; relationships that support us in growing and becoming healthy, vibrant, creative and loving beings.

  16. Hello Uchenna, Bryant and Jenni 💕 Oh another winner of an article🌝 This goes inline with the quote “The more you chase love, the more it will elude you…….” Love for others stems from loving oneself first. You cannot give anything that is missing in your life. We have to be more discerning when it comes to who we allow in our lives. We should avoid toxic people and environments which don’t support our growth and bring misery to our lives.
    I have to forgive myself for allowing certain people from the past to destroy me. I should have been stronger in protecting my inner core. I’m starting from square one once again. Just charging everything to experience. I’m more at peace now and I’m on my way to rebuilding my life. In loving myself, I will be able to share something beautiful to the people who genuinely love and support me as well as to the new people who are about to come into my life. Namaste 🦋 sharing on my page

      1. Quite agree with this wonderful article, will lead the stray helpless people out of the bad situation, true love is not looking for or chase, a soul mate is the soul of the same frequency of strong attraction. It is also extremely stable, because its power comes from within. Being the best of yourself, god won’t make you lonely, there will always be someone who matches you best, will appear at the right time, and now the only thing to do is to be a wonderful self.😊

  17. Incredible. Every point is so dead on. After spending years looking for love & literally treating it like a part time job, I had to reconsider how I was spending my time? I decided to stop looking & work on myself. Specifically, falling so madly in love with myself that I’d never settle & even be totally happy alone. Goal: to be my own favorite person.
    When I did this, love came to me.

  18. ; “Let go of searching, Focus on improving yourself, and allow the universe to bring the person to you.”
    I love this lines… yes stop searching just manifest and the universe will give it to you in the right time. Congrats Uchenna it’s really beautiful and great article.

  19. Thank you Uchenna, beautiful article.
    So true, to attract real love from outside of us we first have to find it inside of us.
    Also I totally believe a sign of true love is a feeling of peace.
    Thank you.❤

      1. I strongly agree with you Uchenna! Love comes when you least expect it! It loves pleasant surprises! You have to love yourself first and keep improving yourself the everything will fall into place. Faith and positive mindset are also important. Love! Love! Love everyone!;-)

  20. hello, all I can say is if you feel love then you can feel hurt, because loving someone is you experience a lot of consideration and sacrifice,, and one day you realize that oh it’s over. and you need to value your self and love your self first.

    Thank you Mr and Mrs McGill

  21. Yes..I’ve been doing these three steps 3 years ago already..I found peace within me and I don’t feel bitter being alone(single)..I’ve told myself if he would come at this phase
    Of my life i will be glad..if he won’t, I’ll be fine..I lifted everything to God..and I’m happy and enjoying my life at this moment..

  22. When you start seeing a boy / girl, then you can actually ask yourself is it truly LOVE or is it INFATUATION? There could be three things when you see a boy / girl, ATTRACTION, INFATUATION or LOVE,
    1) ATTRACTION – What you see, It’s normal to be attracted to someone who is outwardly beautiful or handsome. The problem is, what you see isn’t always what you get.
    2) INFATUATION → What you feel, Infatuation feels like love. In fact, love includes romantic feelings. But the basis for each is entirely different, infatuation is about as stable as a castle made of sand.You can be attracted to someone one day, and then a month later you feel the same way​—but toward someone else!
    3) LOVE → What you know Love, is based on a well-rounded knowledge of a person’s strengths and weaknesses. Bible describes love as much more than a feeling. It states that love is, among other things, “long-suffering and kind. . . . It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7, 8),
    Be assured that you can find that kind of love​—if you learn to look beyond attraction (what you see) and infatuation (what you feel).

  23. I am not a relationship expert and do not claim to be. However, I have found that when you love yourself and make yourself a priority the right person will come into your life. It will not be an easy task and there will be many trials and distractions. Over the years, there were too many times where I witnessed people going to clubs and parties in search of a mate or companion. For all the women out there I want you to read Proverbs18:22. The right and compatible person will find you. Having standards, the right focus, and priorities in place does not mean you are being selfish. It means you choose to put yourself first. Even if it takes being celibate and killing fleshly desires. You are worth it. Keep Jehovah the head of your life, live, breathe, and walk in Christ and everything will be added unto you.

  24. It’s not easy to find true love before we can find that maybe we need to love ourself before giving n finding a true meaning of true love . What is most important be string n be healthy. God will provide if we distiny it. Thanks

  25. Magnificent words of wisdom inserting the veins and reaching every single cell of the body, thus creating intense energy and incredible tingling sensation!!! I absolutely agree with you amazing philosopher that if one makes loneliness their best friend, they reach great pleasure and visit many unforgettable sites. After all Love ❤️ is everywhere written and painted in all the colors of the wind.

  26. True love isn’t something that is found but true love is something that is gain true love doesn’t happen overnight but it only takes a second to realize that you’re truly in love with someone .

  27. I really love this article. Am going to work on my self not to find love but to find my self. I honestly been lost for quite a while already confuse, thinking that happiness was some where else.. I know my life is going to change it already has, and I’m so happy for that. I know it’s going to be hard work because there is a lot of bad habits that I have to change. by doing that! I know I’m going to get to an amazing place that I deserve to be.
    Send you lots of love…
    Thank you for the article am going to share it.

  28. I truly believe we find those we connect with on every level… but love, relationships and marriage require commitment on a daily basis… it is important to put God first in our lives, draw closer to Him and in doing so we as a committed couple draw closer to each other… it’s compromises but with a 100% participation on each party’s part. Struggles will come but we have to hang together and not shut the other individual out… communication is an important part of making a relationship work. Praying for one another, respecting each other and not only saying I love you but showing it in all we do.

  29. In order to love your husband or wife we need to realized the marriage life was ordained by God. God loves humans where he created according to His own image and likeness. While the human love express from the natural love that comes from human being, it does fade and it is not eternal. For husband and wife to remain in their relationship – the love of God must be infused into their being through Christ our Lord who bore our sins and bring us into the Love God (John 3;16). In His resurrection He became the Life Giving Spirit (1Cor15:45) – primarily to build His Organic Body on earth for His expression. Christ Divine element is the key to remain us in loving God. This Love is Divine comes from the Spirit of God who transmitted into our human spirit, that will spread into our human being. And this will manifested towards to the husbands and wives, that will express in the families, to your neighbors, and fellows believers in Christ. Love is one of the Divine Elements of the Triune God – These are Light , Life and Love. But the most excellent is Love . Loves – builds up. May all the people of God must come to the full knowledge of Truth be recover through His Word and by the Spirit.
    “The Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all” (2Cor15;14)

  30. A wonderful article. Who would have known how easy it could be just by following these 3 Simple Steps. I totally agree with when you are happy with yourself and believe that that special someone will enter your life it will happen. Maybe not when you want to, but as you say when you least expect it! I am so looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you!

  31. I spent most of my life seeking, searching for myself. I was raised in a unchristian home, my Father was a abusive alcoholic, my Mother had many mental issues. There was 5 of us children 3 boys and 2 girls. We were ALL abused from our Father. He ran around on my Mother, he would be gone weeks at a time, leaving us and my Mother with NO money. He never paid his bills on time. Sometimes we had NO electricity or heating. But we did the best we could with what we had. After my older brother was told to leave, my sister got married, I became the Mother figure in my home, took care of my twin brothers, who were 1 year and 3 months younger than me. I went to school, came home cooked, washed clothes, etc…… After a year after I finished high school, I got married. After a few months I learned my husband was very abusive. I jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. I had two children by him. I lived in an abusive marriage for 31 years. He threw me out of the house with just with the clothes on my back. Please DO NOT feel sorry for me. I worked 3 jobs to support myself, through all of this I found “KAY !!!” I had lost Kay for a very, very long time. This is when I learned to love myself. You have to love yourself first, before you can begin to love others. After over two years being divorced, God brought into my life a man that became my husband, the love of my life, to whom I love with ALL of my heart. It took me many years to come to the place where I could forgive my Ex-husband, the father of my children ; my Father, my baby brother who sexual abused me, others who had caused so much pain, so much hurt, suffering in my life. But I did forgive and because of that forgiveness, I can freely love others. God calls us to forgive others, because He has forgiven us. My life is now simple, peaceful, I have joy and happiness to enjoy. Please if you need to talk, I have two ears to listen with and I am a Pastor’s wife. God bless you all !!! Love through Christ, Kay Grandgeorge

  32. Everything we do in life is for love. Because we love we try creating an environment to our pleasure which is easily mistaken as being love. I find the article is point on. Subconsciously we search the physical and emotional needs from our most basic IDs. In the laws of attraction, humans are instinctively aware when another is in need. For many, this can be a direct turn off. Defining as someone who is “needy” and incapable of harboring a healthy relationship as partners. The equation becomes imbalanced affecting the way one sees you. When one shows independence, is happy with themself, being capable of taking care of one’s self they present an aura of wellbeing which is very attractive. My suggestion is to create your balance. Follow the above wise advice. When it comes to love and affairs of the heart, time is limitless. Even if life is cut tragically short, as the saying goes….”I would rather have one memorable moment in love with such a person than live an eternity suffering in a toxic relationship.” Let go of toxic people, find yourself and love yourself. Be happy, think on happy thoughts and memories. Ask yourself questions, “What about this particular memory that made you feel so wonderfully happy?” More than likely it will prove to be in your mindset, your attitude. Laughing, smiling creates endorphins to the brain giving an overall state of wellbeing. Be able to find humor in our “humaness” human frailties. Being patient with others. Time tells all tales, give yourself and others a chance. Listening and giving time after an incident may shed light on something one is unaware of. Finally, as Marcus Aurelius quotes, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Why waste time being sad, unhappy….Live with humor, Laugh at the small stuff and Love yourself and all creation.

  33. This is so true. The harder you look for love, the further away love will get from you. Pray to God to help you find love, put it on his shoulders and he will find you that right one when it is his will. He may not answer right away. It’s going to take some time. Meanwhile, you can be working on yourself like the article says.Now, you know how to find love. Let’s talk about how to keep love.
    I’ve been married 22 years and met the love of my life by placing it on God’s shoulders.
    The secret to keeping love is TRUST.
    Let your partner go out with the girls/guys. Let them have friends on Facebook. And trust them. No one likes to be asked 20 questions when they go somewhere and no one likes to be accused of doing something they’re not doing, within reason. And no one likes a jealous partner.
    Don’t treat. Your partner like property. Trust them to have friends and enjoy the things that they like to enjoy. You may not like the same things that they do.
    You can have a long and healthy relationship with trust and no jealousy.
    That’s what I’ve learned during my 22 years of marraige.
    I laid it on God’s shoulders to so that he could find me love and when he did, it was least unexpected.
    And I am still married to that same man 22 years later and we still love and trust each other as we did 22 years ago.
    I hope this helps someone.

    1. Thanks for this beautiful message. Sharing our experiences is the true power we have to affect lives. Thanks again. I agree with you completely and I learned from your vast experience.

  34. These three steps are the most important!! We have to love ourselves first, we must cultivate ourselves every single moment!! Life is so very precious and we have to take advantage of it every second. When we put our self care as a first priority then all things will fall into place. A partner will present himself in the most unexpected way. We should nurture ourselves, cultivate ourselves and taking care of ourselves in a daily basis. Instead of searching for a real partner, take time to cultivate yourself, read read read until blood runs out of your eyes. By reading a whole new world is opening just in front of you. Travel so you can meet new people and new cultures. Search for adventures and things will fall into place!! Take some initiatives!! And when the time comes and you meet that person you will know from the first moment that he is the “one”. We will feel it to our bones. The universe will conspire for us!! Thank you Uchenna Illo for giving the opportunity to share my thoughts. Perfect work i can’t wait to read more articles of you!!

  35. Loving yourself and keeping a clean neat appearance is top of the list. Love comes when least expected, even if you have not been looking or dating in awhile. When your approached by someone, be sure to be safe and check them out thoroughly. If they introduced themselves to you on Facebook, before adding them as a friend or starting any conversation with them, try looking at their homepage. Does their timeline stop after only a few posts or is there many posts? Many times you will find scammers in dating sites or in social media circles. Do they write using capitals where they should be in a sentence? Do they call you baby, honey, sweetheart or say I love you right away? If so, they are probably a scammer. If they are in military attire, they are scammers as the military here in the states told them not to post pictures of themselves in uniform and don’t fall for their sob stories of needing money,. May you find your love and happiness but not at your expense. When you do finally go on a date with someone, be sure to take a cell phone and leave your location where your meeting and who with to a good friend who can also check on you to be sure your safe. Staying safe when meeting someone and watch for any signs but always go with your gut feelings.

  36. Very true to how my path has been. #3 is the most interesting and may be where I am now. Time will tell. Good article.

      1. Patricia Jackson I really love these three steps. I have always jumped from one relationship to the next and lived with someone when I barely knew them. I had my daughter living at my moms so I either had my daughter or a boyfriend or both. never living alone. it has been three years now living alone. my last relationship was very abusive in every way. I learned to not trust anyone etc. but everything happens for a reason from this tragedy I learned to know and love myself and now I am helping others. I forgive myself and stay positive and inspirational. my journey has not but easy but as of today I grow stonger I have joy in my heart and a piece of mind. I am ready a relationship but like article said I wont search for it and it will come when I least expect it. I have hope there are people out there that want true love and we all can find it. I learned you cant find it if you don’t love yourself because you cant love anyone else. I deserve true love and to live happy forever. I will set boundaries because I know I will never be abused again I will be loved. I am excited for my new journey in life. I like how the article said magic!! I believe in magic!

  37. Nice article. Love is unexplainable. My experience has been to always trust your gut. Never force the square peg in a round hole. A healthy love will lift up and let your light shine brighter. Know and accept your self boundaries even if that means being alone. Have faith and trust yourself. Love is not a lightswitch. I have been emotionally and physically abused by the one I loved. As a 44 year old female unable to have children, with only a mother living nearby for support, It was difficult. I used prayer, journal writing, walking around the block, and reading as coping skills. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to your soul. Allow yourself to cycle through all challenges with love. You are worth it.

  38. I would like to thank Bryant n Jenni for counting me to advice on love… well i am not a writer…still i will try to say something, love has agreat role in our lives, we cannot keep love in water tight compartments. Love is unconditional as we all know that it passes through many folds of life…We all pass through the first love of a mother then sister beloved wife…they are different shades of love…they teach us gives us beautiful meaning of love…they are not misers but we love to be pampered ….but when real time comes to shower love to them we shrink and close the doors… we show love to the needy destitutes homeless old people everyone who needs sympathy ….but….the hidden critics wake up with a jerk if someone unknowingly falls in love….
    Ohh!!! What a grave mistake!!! The razor sharp advise is ready to trim out the uneven edges to avoid the mess..
    We really need the psychologists philosophers to handle the subject….I really wonder why a simple thing is thought to be a complex matter..
    Why can’t we leave them alone to settle the matter themselves…why do we need so much of help? Its a normal thing and its all a matter of heart….

    I did not want tohurt anyone’s sentiment…please forgive if i have hurt ….

  39. After 24 years of pain, and worry and anguish with my now ex husband, I have finally understood. If it’s not good for you, let him/her go.

    1. Sometimes,pain and anguish can only stay so much[ not forever] It’s similar to a can/bottle when filled up to the brim, will tend to overflow.

  40. You must love yourself and set a standard of what is acceptable in your self then prepare for a mate that will be compatible for your preset standards!

    1. Sure ,we all have our own set of standards to our would be partner. It’s worth the wait till we found it. If we fail,then we must assure ourselves that maybe it’s for the good of us and accept it.

  41. Your journey in life it’s yours you live every day as if it was your last day do not worry because it’s a waste of energy if you don’t take risks in life you’ll risk even more and there is nothing to fear in life but fear it self remember to treat people the way you want to be treated you need to love yourself before you can be loved this is what try to live by iI have had many life experiences Which has showed me the way

  42. I am already doing the step 1 and 2 in absolutely great way. But thank you for the step 3. This is something I need to remember myself. I really have to trust the “one” will appear. I am quite impatience haha 🙂

  43. interesting artcle i agree with steps to find a partner for life or at least to have a clear vision of it.many of this understanding depends on the person himself.he works on himself a lot and deep.but the full image of this love is made through days of life.there are who define love and those who let true love define them.i like your dont search because the best came always as surprise.

  44. After becoming the very best person I could ever possibly be, twice, I was viciously cut off at the knees aleft to die. Twice. True love, real love is a myth. Now, I am left angry, broken, and forever damaged by those who only took from me.

  45. Thank you so much for the lovely message. Yes I truly believe that we shouldn’t chase for love and what I experienced is love then shows up in many other ways. Love for work, love for little things that happen everyday in our lives, Love for nature and many more forms of love. Thank you once again for sharing this message with me.

  46. Exactly! Just be yourself! Wait for that someone that the universe will send you. Don’t force yourself into a relationship. And when that someone comes, don’t rush. Get to know each other. Because I always believe that when your partner becomes your bestfriend first, even if the love weans, he will never leave you.

    1. Hi..good ania from mauritius…im sorry if not well make the application..i am 44yrs widow since 8yrs.iiam searching for a true love…hope i can found here.i think life is not stop here i want a chance to live my life with happiness peace and love…
      Thank u everyone..

  47. I dont thi k you can find true lovr until you find yourself. When we are young we think we know who we are becsuse we hsve lived in the same body for 18 yeard. But so msny of ud dont learn to reslly accept ourselves and to identigy our TRUE valued (not Mom’s) until we have had to live through some struggled
    When you marry domeonr and becomr a clone to their values it never leads to happiness. Also dometime you thi k you k ow someone’s values when in truth they dont know them. This will alwsys lead to heartbresk

  48. This so true came at the right time ive just experienced every one of these step & finally when i learn to let go & not chase ppl my true love appeated i knew from the start that he was the 1 because i felt a deep connection to him we never had sex which was the key for me but have fallen in love with our hearts

  49. I once heard on TV that if you let GOD choose the partner for you, it would not be wrong. It’s so true, I DO BELIEVE that wholeheartedly.
    My husband and I got married very young (he was 23 , me 20) with no experiences of anything on either side. We were completely different with opposite upbringing and lifestyles. We barely agreed on most issues….Yet , Thank GOD and His Holy Spirit for being there and leading us from the very early stage of our marriage. Now almost 40 years later , looking back we could not PRAISE HIM ENOUGH for everything He had bestowed upon us. If we only let Him guide us, the journey would always be filled of joy , laughter & satisfaction. The little hurdles here and there were just condiments to add more pleasure to our marriage

  50. This is exactly how I met my husband! I had been dating and knew these guys weren’t the one. When I accepted that, I began to let them go and focus on myself. Next thing you know, this cute guy starts talking to me at the grocery store and the rest is history ❤. 13 years and 3 kids later, we’re still growing and evolving, but together. This is the same advice i give all my single friends, stop looking.

  51. Thank you for these words today I vowed to make this year mine and I have been struggling to love me but you showed me I am worth it I have to believe it because people tell me I am beautiful inside and out I never see it but this helped me so much thank you God bless you in Jesus’s name Amen​

    1. Thank you Carol Roberts I can clearly relate to what your saying. You have described me. And because I’m always looking out for other peoples Happiness instead of myself. But at the end of the Day I find my peace & comfort in the Lord Jesus Christ who strengthens me.

  52. I have been married to the same person for 36 years and together for 38. My love advice is this. Don’t expect your partner to solve your issues. Be considerate of their feeljngs and realize they are doing the best they can with where they are in awareness. Dont expect, it leads to disappointment. There will be hard times, dont give up, be committed. Look at your partner from the eyes of your heart and not through physical eyes, we will all age. Be thankful for everything, including them. Lastly, love is not what we see in the movies, that is lust. Love is forever, unconditional, and an action. Remember, we are here for moments in time, but wternity is forever. Be blessed. ❤️

  53. 85% of the population suffers from low selfasteem, that they take into a relationship. Why is that relevant, because it will either draw you back in your own growth, or lower your own selfasteem because of limitations and insequrity.
    To find love this days are very hard! Because of the higher growth you make in yourself to become authentic and whole, the more selective you become.
    Another definition of love can be to share love and compassion in other relationships, without a loverelationship. To give others love with impact, rather than expecting it in return, is often more sequre and also create a personal freedom of letting go. Real love set people free, and also trust the other and themselves to know eachother well, to be sequre in it. Love the article! Well written. With love and support Lina Vera Sjöberg

  54. Agree! Searching for someone to “love” is a temporary filling of a void in your life. We all want to love and be loved. But when you focus on only looking for the right person, you forget who you are. I say…follow your passions, spend time doing what you enjoy. As you become more aware of who you are, a partner will find their way to you. 💖💜

  55. All of these are true. I am doing my own things for me and hoping the right one finds me. In fact I have found someone however he has things he is going through right now. I will continue to be here for him, believe that if it’s meant to be it will be! I finally loved myself first and began living my life and gave up the search. When looking by appearance you don’t get quality. I want everlasting love and will wait for it to find me, because I have faith that it will

  56. Great advice. I was in a 25 year marriage that was without true commitment and love. It had been almost two years after it was over that I was still “LOOKING” but about 4 months ago I realized I needed to love ME before I could love anyone else! Been a tough journey but I’m getting there slowly but still moving forward!

  57. After being in a relationship for 16years and having it end on a bad note. I found that it’s easier to learn to love your self first and remind yourself that true love will find you when the Lord feels that your ready. That’s when he will send the mate he has created for you…

  58. I found my soul mate he is someone I worked with years ago a mutual friend of ours told me he was still single so I looked him up on Facebook.We have been together for 2 years and engaged for 1 year. My advice don’t be afraid to look up someone from your past.I have a great guy.

  59. i dont know how to find a true love because i found my true love when i was not looking for it but once you find your soulmate never take them for granted there would come a time when you would think that you deserve better or you would think that you are being taken granted but trust me thats just part of the relationship always find ways to make things work rather than breaking up on small things!

  60. Right on! Brilliant! Until we realize that chasing people is not a good option and that we neef to turn love’s direction from ourside to inside us, nothing will change. Brilliant! Thank you!

      1. My gosh this is awesome just this morning this man that I have known for a long time but he only talks of memories when his parents were living he is so boring and I am so nervous after talking to him I thank you for this article if I am answering at the correct one . I knew I could never accept this relationship but in a weak moment I think okay no no not okay .

    1. U must first learn to love yourself and be happy bei g alone. Happiness comes from within. You can not depend on other people because they are human and will let u down

    2. Yes so true. Guess it stats within ourselves instead of eyeballing the other way. Loniness is bad for the Heart and Health. Thank you

  61. After losing my husband of 30 years 3 years ago, I truly believe what u r saying. I am just getting to know myself for the first time. I don’t like it all but I am learning to accept me. Thanks for the reinforcement.

  62. “The greatest sign they carry with them is that they give you peace of mind. They will give you space to continue on your growth journey and together both of you can create such magic as the world has never seen before.”

    A perfect ending to a very insightful article. Thanks so much for this, bro.

  63. This article is remarkable!! Yes i agree that one should not chase or run after….if it has to happen it will happen, no point to crib or cry…and i think no one would go searching for apartner to satisfy ones sexual needs…only a perverted mind can think that way….
    I think these 3 steps are explained very simply .
    Thanks Uchenna for this message…..its indeed an eye opener.

      1. this article is good for those unfortunate persons who are still in search of love if we understand love starts from within and love yourself that can be extended to others love without originating from the the Divine within is no love at all .it is only an out side attraction which will fade away as time passes.

        this article is worth reading and give an in depth knowledge for what love stands for .

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