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3 Simple Steps to Find True Love

When you learn to love yourself, then you will have enough love to give to whoever comes into your life.

If you have been struggling to attract a life partner who is compatible with you and who shares the similar values and aspirations with you, just remember that it very possible to achieve. The paradox of this pursuit is that in order to find that person we have to stop searching. I know this sounds contradictory but after interviewing a few people who seem to have found true love and happiness, the story is almost always the same; “Let go of searching, Focus on improving yourself, and allow the universe to bring the person to you.”

Step 1 – Stop searching

This advice sounds contradictory but it is not. The ancient philosophers and spiritual teachers have known and taught about the power of non-attachment.

I spent so many years chasing after people that looked good to my eyes.

Unconsciously I did not know that I was chasing after people to possess them and satisfy the desires of my flesh. My assessment of people was based on their physical attributes and sometimes intellect, thereby neglecting the most important things which were their values, beliefs, ambitions, pains, and goals. In the end I discovered that most of my relationships never really lasted. It always started on a very intense and fiery note but in a short time, everything fizzled out and the usual fighting, suspicion, and intolerance set in. The first step to attracting a perfect life partner is to make a conscious decision not to chase after people. Stop searching. The next step will explain what to do next. 


Step 2 – Love yourself

When you learn to love yourself, then you will have enough love to give to whoever comes into your life.

By loving yourself I mean you should work on yourself. Start making changes in your life that will lead to your becoming the best version of yourself. Do the inner work of purging yourself of bad habits and toxic relationships that have been holding you back. Let go of any relationship that is not helping you to reach your goal in life. By relationship, I mean your relationship with everything and everyone. Stop going to those places that bring you pain and misery. Start making small healthy changes and start learning to love yourself again. This stage might involve spending some time with yourself to get to know yourself. Be comfortable when you are alone with yourself. These tips build inner strength but may take some time to get used to. When you gain self-confidence and you start pursuing the passion of your heart, you will not have time for chasing people who do not want to stay in your life. You will be so excited about your life that you will look forward to waking up every morning to live your life.

Step 3 – Believe

The final step is to believe deep down within your soul that the right person will appear to you at just the right time. I had to believe and then let go of the outcome. Sometimes the universe will test you again by sending someone to test your resolve. You might meet someone who is close to the kind of person you deserve but they will not bring you peace. Let them go and move on.

The right person will come when you least expect it.

They usually show up in the most unusual of circumstances and places. They will come as a surprise and in synchronicity. The person who appears is the one who has been looking for you all their life. You will know them by the fruits of their spirit. They will mirror the beauty and love that you have cultivated within yourself. The greatest sign they carry with them is that they give you peace of mind. They will give you space to continue on your growth journey and together both of you can create such magic as the world has never seen before.

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Uchenna Ilo

Doctoral researcher (Innovation Management), Spiritual Thought Leader, Philosopher, Spiritual healer, Social Entrepreneur, Creative Writer, and Lover of Life.

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Deb Baillargeon
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I have accomplished the first two parts of this article. Just waiting on God to send me the right person for me. It will be the qualities that he has inside him. Very good Article!

PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU
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PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU

I LOVE THIS ARTICLE SUPPER THANK YOU

Sherryramlogan
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Sherryramlogan

I agree……you can’t keep chasting people…patience, faith, and timing is our key word’s I have learnt .. everything will happen when you least expect it…I have no regrets..enjoying me time is where you get most of your answers and peace…

Laxmi Ghimire
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Laxmi Ghimire

I am just surprise about finding the true love. How it comes? So many people usually takes about love . But how it works?

JOAN Vendlinger
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JOAN Vendlinger

YES LOVE IS A MYSTERY. IT’S MEANING SO DIFFERENT TO MANY PEOPLES AND CULTURES. IT IS WHAT POETS AND MOVIES ARE ABOUT. IT IS SOMETHING THAT CAN TRANSCEND US INTO A HEAVEN ON EARTH. IT IS LETTING THE REAL SELF BE KNOWN. IT IS KNOWING YOURSELF FIRST HONESTLY THEN HAVING THE COURAGE TO SHOW YOURSELF TO THE OTHER PERSON YOU LOVE. THIS IS A RISK. BUT WHEN TAKEN, CAN LEAD TO A TRUE, SOUL LOVE. ONE THAT WILL ENDURE TIME, SPACE AND WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU. OH YES LOVE, LUCILLE BALL SAID “LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO LINE.” I LIKE THAT. OH AND REMEMBER TO LIKE YOURSELF TOO, WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE BEFORE YOU LOVE THEM, WELL THAT IS IMPORTANT. REMEMBER THAT TOO OK.

Jan
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Jan

I have thought a few times that I had found love again since my husband past away, only to be hurt and disappointed, so I have to change and be kinder to myself. what do you suggest .

Joanne
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Joanne

Most wonderful teaching! I will remember this. Thank you!

Karina
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Karina

Thank you for your inspiring article. Now, I need to love myself better and be the best version of person I want to meet.

Mario
Member

I think it’s a helpful article that can help many including myself. Thanks for sharing your great wisdom, Sir.

Jackie Wilushewski
Member

Lovely wonderful article! Simple and understandable steps! <3 *sharing*

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member

This is so true.
Great article, Uchenna.
❤️