PostsRelationshipsSteps

3 Simple Steps to Find True Love

When you learn to love yourself, then you will have enough love to give to whoever comes into your life.

If you have been struggling to attract a life partner who is compatible with you and who shares the similar values and aspirations with you, just remember that it very possible to achieve. The paradox of this pursuit is that in order to find that person we have to stop searching. I know this sounds contradictory but after interviewing a few people who seem to have found true love and happiness, the story is almost always the same; “Let go of searching, Focus on improving yourself, and allow the universe to bring the person to you.”

Step 1 – Stop searching

This advice sounds contradictory but it is not. The ancient philosophers and spiritual teachers have known and taught about the power of non-attachment.

I spent so many years chasing after people that looked good to my eyes.

Unconsciously I did not know that I was chasing after people to possess them and satisfy the desires of my flesh. My assessment of people was based on their physical attributes and sometimes intellect, thereby neglecting the most important things which were their values, beliefs, ambitions, pains, and goals. In the end I discovered that most of my relationships never really lasted. It always started on a very intense and fiery note but in a short time, everything fizzled out and the usual fighting, suspicion, and intolerance set in. The first step to attracting a perfect life partner is to make a conscious decision not to chase after people. Stop searching. The next step will explain what to do next. 


Step 2 – Love yourself

When you learn to love yourself, then you will have enough love to give to whoever comes into your life.

By loving yourself I mean you should work on yourself. Start making changes in your life that will lead to your becoming the best version of yourself. Do the inner work of purging yourself of bad habits and toxic relationships that have been holding you back. Let go of any relationship that is not helping you to reach your goal in life. By relationship, I mean your relationship with everything and everyone. Stop going to those places that bring you pain and misery. Start making small healthy changes and start learning to love yourself again. This stage might involve spending some time with yourself to get to know yourself. Be comfortable when you are alone with yourself. These tips build inner strength but may take some time to get used to. When you gain self-confidence and you start pursuing the passion of your heart, you will not have time for chasing people who do not want to stay in your life. You will be so excited about your life that you will look forward to waking up every morning to live your life.

Step 3 – Believe

The final step is to believe deep down within your soul that the right person will appear to you at just the right time. I had to believe and then let go of the outcome. Sometimes the universe will test you again by sending someone to test your resolve. You might meet someone who is close to the kind of person you deserve but they will not bring you peace. Let them go and move on.

The right person will come when you least expect it.

They usually show up in the most unusual of circumstances and places. They will come as a surprise and in synchronicity. The person who appears is the one who has been looking for you all their life. You will know them by the fruits of their spirit. They will mirror the beauty and love that you have cultivated within yourself. The greatest sign they carry with them is that they give you peace of mind. They will give you space to continue on your growth journey and together both of you can create such magic as the world has never seen before.

Tags

Uchenna Ilo

Doctoral researcher (Innovation Management), Spiritual Thought Leader, Philosopher, Spiritual healer, Social Entrepreneur, Creative Writer, and Lover of Life.

Related Articles

224
Leave a Reply

avatar
99 Comment threads
125 Thread replies
7 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
116 Comment authors
Uchenna IloPRABHAKAR RAJARAPUTriciaTricisLyn Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Deb Baillargeon
Member
Deb Baillargeon

I have accomplished the first two parts of this article. Just waiting on God to send me the right person for me. It will be the qualities that he has inside him. Very good Article!

PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU
Guest
PRABHAKAR RAJARAPU

I LOVE THIS ARTICLE SUPPER THANK YOU

Sherryramlogan
Guest
Sherryramlogan

I agree……you can’t keep chasting people…patience, faith, and timing is our key word’s I have learnt .. everything will happen when you least expect it…I have no regrets..enjoying me time is where you get most of your answers and peace…

Laxmi Ghimire
Guest
Laxmi Ghimire

I am just surprise about finding the true love. How it comes? So many people usually takes about love . But how it works?

JOAN Vendlinger
Guest
JOAN Vendlinger

YES LOVE IS A MYSTERY. IT’S MEANING SO DIFFERENT TO MANY PEOPLES AND CULTURES. IT IS WHAT POETS AND MOVIES ARE ABOUT. IT IS SOMETHING THAT CAN TRANSCEND US INTO A HEAVEN ON EARTH. IT IS LETTING THE REAL SELF BE KNOWN. IT IS KNOWING YOURSELF FIRST HONESTLY THEN HAVING THE COURAGE TO SHOW YOURSELF TO THE OTHER PERSON YOU LOVE. THIS IS A RISK. BUT WHEN TAKEN, CAN LEAD TO A TRUE, SOUL LOVE. ONE THAT WILL ENDURE TIME, SPACE AND WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU. OH YES LOVE, LUCILLE BALL SAID “LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO LINE.” I LIKE THAT. OH AND REMEMBER TO LIKE YOURSELF TOO, WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE BEFORE YOU LOVE THEM, WELL THAT IS IMPORTANT. REMEMBER THAT TOO OK.

Jan
Guest
Jan

I have thought a few times that I had found love again since my husband past away, only to be hurt and disappointed, so I have to change and be kinder to myself. what do you suggest .

Joanne
Guest
Joanne

Most wonderful teaching! I will remember this. Thank you!

Karina
Guest
Karina

Thank you for your inspiring article. Now, I need to love myself better and be the best version of person I want to meet.

Mario
Member
Mario

I think it’s a helpful article that can help many including myself. Thanks for sharing your great wisdom, Sir.

Jackie Wilushewski
Member
Jackie Wilushewski

Lovely wonderful article! Simple and understandable steps! <3 *sharing*

Melissa Rose Rothschild
Member
Melissa Rose Rothschild

This is so true.
Great article, Uchenna.
❤️

Robert Walls
Member
Robert Walls

Powerful Article True Love can unlock soooo much happiness inside of us so called humans Loved the insight Much successful in love my dear friend. I will be sharing this EVERYWHERE <3 🙂

Robina fazal
Member
Robina fazal

Thanks.Sir.. Ucheñña ĺĺo!Nice article..❤👑I always believe one have to be one’s own lover,one’s own best companion..one’s own well wisheŕ ,as it’s v.v.rare that one finds a match …to live a life of Romeo and Juliet….😀if you have the gut instinct to be your own self lover..you can grow more..you can learn more..you can be more passionate,loving and caring…you can do a lot good to enhance the true human essence to be a good positive full of life person…and can avail the chance to love ,respect care others..as those who are lonely are not lonely.. if they provoke in themselves the quality of a humble nice Person.. be positive and productive …they can benefit other “Humans “with more passion..love and care..May God Almighty bless..Such Souls as they are angels in disguise..send by God to love and care all… Amen

Barbara Vercruysse
Member
Barbara Vercruysse

Love this Uchenna!! You have such deep insights and this incredible talent to put it into an eloquency that is really remarkable!! Much lvoe <3

Jeremiah de Leon
Member
Jeremiah de Leon

Finding true love is not just about fishing in the sea but how you wait while you are fishing. Do not rush things on our will for God is preparing someone for us. Let God take control of everything. Our heart is very deceitful that things may go wrong if we do not use our mind over heart. There’s a right time, place and moment for each of us especially in finding our true Love. If you feel unloved, this is the time that you love yourself first. How people treat us depends on how we treat ourselves. Remember, if you think it’s too long for you to wait for your true love, it is because God is still writing your love story. He wants you to have a great, true and inspiring story of your life. God bless Us.

Nkaiso Asikpo
Guest
Nkaiso Asikpo

This article is very real and amazing! The insights will save many people from running round in circles!

I wish that many more will behold the simplicity of this message and apply it in other areas of their life as well.

Fatima Shahnaz Ahmad
Member
Fatima Shahnaz Ahmad

These steps are SO simple, yet SO hard to grasp for some and it’s simply because no matter how much they say that they love themselves, they have no idea what it truly means. I LOVE your simple explanation of it. It is ALL about working on you and becoming what you want first to attract what you need. It will be an amazing world when each of us truly understands the meaning of this. Thank You for your wisdom. <3

Jessica Gilbert
Member
Jessica Gilbert

This is such a wonderful article and great steps. I couldn’t agree more with everything said. I stopped chasing love awhile ago, just let it come to me when it’s the right time. The guys I ended up with in the past all happened when I least expected it to as well.

Mayuri Rana
Member
Mayuri Rana

This is such a beautiful article with so much wisdom..We really don’t have to chase anything that’s truly meant to be.. I loved the “believe” part and to trust the process..Thanks so much for sharing these wonderful steps..

Rock Eric Ramos
Member
Rock Eric Ramos

Brother once again your brilliance shines through i am honored to be in the same realm of social media as you are, you are truly a blessing

Godwin uzy
Guest
Godwin uzy

Loving yourself is the key.
“Stop searching ”
Quite inspirational.

Heidi
Guest
Heidi

Attrscting the right relationship by loving ourselves first can help us fundamentally, but maybe more is needed inn specific ways such ås thinking what type of relationship you want if marriage is not for you. Many relationships start rosy and why do we only show our best sides at the beginning and låter it gets worse? I feel that tetting close om all Levels at the same time demands something of our perseverance, tolerance, maturity and imagination. And the everyday grind and boring routines can create too much stability when romance needs spontainuity, unpredictability and adventure! Have a lovely week everyone!!