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10 Steps Through Grief

Keep loving and know that this too will pass.

I lost my father and asked, “Will I ever be happy again?”

The world seems to have stopped rotating.

He had progressively declined from a combination of Bulbar ALS and Parkinson’s over the past year.

Yet the thought that he was not truly mortal like the rest of us was impossible to believe. He had been working at this time last year and up until his death was still trying to exercise his mind, body, and spirit.

Who is really prepared to lose a loved one?

No matter how we lose a loved one, it hurts… a lot.

You can read articles like this about grief, talk to others, busy yourself with activity, distract yourself with other things but the fact is, we need to cry. Purge the tears, the pain, whenever the hurt occurs. We may feel very alone in these moments.

They will pass.

If your belief is strong with faith in an afterlife, you may see signs or feel your loved ones presence.

It will still hurt.

I don’t think my heart will ever be the same, but the broken pieces are filling my heart with gratitude for my father’s love. The love is overflowing.

Allow me to offer you ten steps that have helped me thus far with grief.

1. CRY, scream, sob, purge the feelings of heartache through the cleansing of your eyes.

Visualize your tears watering new life and new growth.

2. Talk about the memories.

Listen to friends and family share their memories of your loved one. Share your memories with others of your loved one. Celebrate life through the cherished memories.

3. Ask for help.

When you simply can not perform a task, run an errand or do a chore, ask a friend or neighbor for help with it. You will be surprised at how much people want to help.

4. Help others.

Reach out to strangers, or friends and see how you can help them. It may be an ear to listen or a compliment given, everyone can use kindness.

5. Write down your thoughts, feelings and memories.

You may feel anxious that you will lose what memory of your loved one that you have left… write it down. 


6. Take time to stop and smell the roses… literally.

Notice and appreciate the beauty of life that surrounds you.

7. Express your love to the living.

Tell your friends and family how much you love and appreciate them. Do not allow regret to seep into your grief.

8. Speak to your loved one that has passed as if they are still here.

They may just let you know that they are still with you and they are listening.

9. Take care of yourself.

Eat properly, drink water and stay hydrated, get sleep and keep your own doctors appointments. It is imperative that you continue to take proper care of yourself, for yourself and for the others that love you.

10. Rest.

Allow yourself time. Time to relax, sleep, meditate or be still. They say time will heal all wounds. I am not sure that this is true, but I will let you know.

Life is one crazy adventure, full of ups and downs. We all know for sure that this life is temporary.

Make it worth living.

Keep loving and know that this too will pass.

I asked my father recently if he passed before me would he send me a sign and if he would what would it be. He told me that he would send me an emoji. I could not imagine how this would be possible.

Last Saturday, my son graduated from high school. We were surrounded by at least 1, 000 people spread out around a college stadium.

A friend’s mom took a photo of my husband and my son. Do you see it?

I believe I will be happy again and my father would want me to be happy.

And maybe I will see an emoji now and then, and it will remind me that my father would not want it any other way.

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Melissa Rose Rothschild

Melissa is a Thought Leader , mentored by the founders of the international powerhouse , McGill Media, a published author, an entrepreneur and a self-help Spiritual guru in-training. She is a recovery advocate and speaker and became sober, awakened and eternally grateful ... one day at a time on 11/29/2004. She worked as a former director of an international personal development center and as a personal development lecturer for the Southeastern , public, middle schools and high schools. She empowers young people to pursue their dreams and helps children and adults with tools to succeed. Melissa believes our purpose in life is love and that everyone has the light within to shine and share in the journey of love. She is the creator and CEO of Princess Rothschild, “crowned”.

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Jackie Wilushewski
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Jackie Wilushewski

Great way to bring in the good moments with life, loved ones, self, family, friends, etc. This is always such a touchy topic in one way or another and you never quite know which way. This was a great way to take a high level look as well as relate able and simple ways to look at this, thank you. <3

Gail Liming
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Gail Liming

That can be tough losing a loved one, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve. In due time it will pass but never from the memory. And yes its comforting to be surrounded by caring people. There will remain a void after a loved one passes on too that may need attention with an activity of some kind. I have one parent left and I know when I get that call I will be experiencing what I just mentioned and shed plenty of tears. Thanks for writing that article.

T

Jo Davis
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Jo Davis

So beautiful. I lost 2 parents last summer. Your words are golden. Thank you, Melissa. ❤

michelle
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michelle

im so sorry for your lose like yourself i’ve also lost a lot of people mind i was brought up in a care system hurt like hell to part with my mum week after my dad passed and then a month before my gran did living in domestic abuse also didn’t help was at that time i give up on life lost myself til one day i took a long walk speaking loving to myself asking myself questions of who and what i wanted to become because of all this pain it surely changed me for awhile why me pitty self swallowing it past was eating from inside alive was at that point i stopped closed my eyes felt the nature around the smell of the air how gentual it felt on my skin as the heat from the sun hit me it was at that point i felt alive again

Lawney
Member
Lawney

Thanks for this article Melissa. So sorry for your loss. These steps would help people walk slowly through their grief and all the emotions that come with that.

Wong Lok
Admin
Wong Lok

I’m so sorry for your loss, sending much love and hugs from hong kong…. Please feel free to contact me for a talk and hope you can feel better really soon~ <3

Linda Smith
Member
Linda Smith

Spend time just sorting your thoughts. You are a great daughter and you are able to praise your father, anytime you feel such. God bless you,child, no matter the pain. That will pass, in time.

bautistadulzeh81@gmail.com
Guest

Its not easy that sometimes it really hard to admit those people who lose around us and most of the time they lose in the most unexpected time and reason…i just rely on those thoughts that everything here in this world isTEMPORARY..some articles i read was proven that even if you’re in any position in life when god put it back in his arms we have nothing to do just offer him what we have in life..so no need to embrace popularity,precious gems,money and everthing we are afraid to lose….THANK YOU JENNI & BRYANT…MORE POWER AND PLEASE CONTINUE TO SPREAD INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS..I LOVE YOU BOTH😍😍😍👍🤘

Nicholas J Cobos
Member
Nicholas J Cobos

Melissa, this is such a great article. I have been thinking about writing on this topic too and your article is spot-on with my thoughts! I would say yes- start by having a good long cry ( or 2 or 3 in my case) and yes writing in a journal or on a notepad is great advice. If you can’t find someone to talk to (not ready or any reason) write your feelings in a journal frequently. I kept one on my desk by the computer so it was always easy to find. Great job. Love you.

Linda Smith
Member
Linda Smith

Thank you guys for the painful lessons…the vety difficult ones. And, spmehow, they do, somehow make our lives better. In Gods way, they are able to accomplish this. Yes, at the time, it seems we will never survive and be the person we were. But, we are just that. We are able to reclaim our love and strength because we are needed at this point, and we are glad! Like a blessing. We have an obstackle to attend to. And I am ready to do such. For anyone, anytime, I will be there for them. It ma cause me pain, but I do it anyway! Yes, it hurts my leg, but, I do it anyway! Yes, I sleep some, as I am tired, but not so much as to overlook a person in need…of love and caring. Amen

Linda
Guest
Linda

My grief is not of anyone dying. I can handle that. I don’t believe I have ever known what being happy is or have never felt loved at all. I’m almost 64. The people that are suppose to be close to me & share love & life do not at all. I’ve been on my own since 17. I grieve every moment of every day due to not having the ones that is supposed to show me love only show me neglect, dishonesty & pain. This includes my only child now 45, my only grandson, 22, & any male companion I’ve been with. I’ve lived alone & made my own way since 17. Mostly liked being a loner when I was younger, but am tired & older & feeling very lonely & unloved. I have no release of anger, have always had anxiety no one to share anything with or to listen to me. Made my own living. Just have a lot of pain anxiety, loneliness. Never felt happy & don’t know why I’m here. My only grown child has never been around me he’s on heroine & has always lied to me & cant & never could relate with me. Just really sick. So see my grief is from the living. I can handle dead

Linda Smith
Member
Linda Smith

This is a different Linda from above this one. Just praying that she learns from the death in her family. Amen

Robina fazal
Member
Robina fazal

Thanks!Melissa dear❤👑💐wonderful inspiring article..Grief is a part of human life.. Where we enjoy life’s moments..there are moments.. incidents.. happenings.. events..that cause panic.sadness..worry…depression.. but it’s who ,who have to deal with those Grief periods in life with patience..calm..and cool ..heart.. No one is free of bother or problems.We all have to face at times in our lives hard times..that makes us tingled ..we feel sad ..upset..worried.. it’s difficult for us to be happy again..But it’s our inner instinct that have to be powerful enough.. to transform our pain into pleaser moments.. however pain not rum away.. at times the sad memories..makes us upset.. but as much as we do captivate our selves in healthy.. mind soul soothing activities…we feel our pain is a harsh memory to let go…to forget…we should enjoy the blessed moments..and make the most of our time….live a happy…healthy life..love own self.. to make it worth living for our ownsleves…with love and passions…and love..care all…make life full of zeal..zest and enthusiasùm…we can..yeah we can we have to be confident enough..brave enough to live with our pains..as a motive that life can be easy.. life can be spent with ease ..we can enjoy life goodness.. and we can make life more pleasant with our thoughts..doings…and gifts that God Almighty has given us..Love life…love the beauties of life..make life challenging ,Happy..,active.. positive,productive..and worth living.. ❤💐Amen

Olivier G. Zazueta ( female)
Guest
Olivier G. Zazueta ( female)

Sorry for your loss … I lost my mother on April 5th 2015 … & … Three month’s after my mother’s prince of the house got very sick I had to put him down his name was BB … Such a beautiful Dog … Then on july 1st My cousin’s stepfather passed … But we didn’t get to say our goodbyes they viewed him and didn’t let us know & he was cremated … Then in December my aunt Grace My mother’s Baby sister passed also … … We just paid our respect’s and goodbyes to my cousin BOBBY … ( Javier) … This … April 29th 2018 … It’s been real hard … For everyone … But … I … Me am afraid of death … That … I … Became … So … Paranoid … I didn’t even want to answer my … Phone because … Other people that i knew passed away in between my family member’s … My daughter had to answer my phone and ask if it was something bad … That’s … How … I … Was … I suffer from depression and anxiety/ panic attacks … Also waa diagnosed with B.P.D. back in 2006. Then I was diagnosed with P.T.S.D. I can’t remember the year … I’M Trying so hard to not go back into the hospital … I read this and it caught my eye … I’ve seen other’s and i always say I’ll read it later but not this one … Thabk you so … Much … And … I am going to start writing my memories

Pam
Member
Pam

My daughter was murdered, my husband of 32 years died, my mom died. I cried, I yelled, I prayed, I read, I talked, I wrote letters to them. It helped me.

Tiffany Newsome
Guest
Tiffany Newsome

Very encouraging

Peg Daly
Guest
Peg Daly

Melissa, your article on the death of your father is beautiful! You have a gift my friend. I know your, “10 Steps Throygh Grief”, will help countless people, as they attempt to maneuver through this unwanted life experience.

Ginadevera
Guest
Ginadevera

I lost my parents long time ago.but I still missed them a lot especially now that I’m in a big burden.But when I’ve read ur article,I’m spired and I said to myself,,,I can do it as well.😆😆😆😆Thank u so much for sharing your inspiring story.God is Always good to thy people.💖💟💞💝💘

Mona Marie
Member
Mona Marie

I had tears myself reading this because losing a father is hard so so hard. I lost my Dad in 2013 and the pain is still there. One thing is true you feel them around and they will never leave your heart. Grief is hard it sure is and one must work through it and not bury it. I just lost my beloved Sheltie after 14.5 years. Melissa I thought I was having a heart attack that is how much pain I was in. It was so bad and yes I cry. I cry in the silence of the night…. the tears just come silently like they are right now. I am so sorry for your loss Melissa and sending you love and hugs from Florida

Janice Macleod
Guest
Janice Macleod

Thank you for your steps thru grief. I am bundled up with so much grief as I have left my husband, my father and my brother and sister have not spoken to me in seven years. there is too much pain in my life now that my family has gone. But now I am starting a wonderful gratitude journal, prayers every morning and night asking for help and doing something every day that makes me happy, like walk in the woods with my dog . Each night I am accountable in my journal of what I planned to do in the morning to make my day a better day. Simple reminders has been an incredible help and I look forward every morning to be ea each night I am accountable in my journal for what I planned to do in the morning to make my day a better day. Simple reminders has been an incredible help and I look forward every morning to reading Before my prayers and in my gratitude journal.

Angeliki Anastasia
Member
Angeliki Anastasia

Rosy,Honey Melissa, congratulations on Your success, and the Great Success of Your family!!! I am sure that since your Beautiful Daddy is next to you every step of the way, being your guardian Angel for Always and Forever, helped you achieve such amazing kindness, Love, success and beauty in your life!!! ❤️💕🏆🏆🏆🙏🙏🙏🌹🌹🌺🦄🦄💕💗⭐️

Linda Lee R
Guest
Linda Lee R

This artical would be helpful for a few of my friends on FB how can I share ?